Society of people, as we all know, consists ofrepresentatives of the weak and the stronger sex. They constantly contact each other in various spheres of life. We have to communicate with men everywhere: on the street, in an educational institution, at work, at home and in person. It would seem that there is nothing special about this - we are all people and we are able to speak the language. But no! Many girls, going on a date, have a rather vague idea of what to talk with a guy and how to talk to him. A lack of such skills creates significant communication difficulties, often hampering the development of further relations. How to be? How to learn how to communicate and how to find topics for conversation with a guy, if the experience of such communication is quite small?
How correctly to talk with the guy
Talking with a guy is not at all like chirping withgirlfriend. Women are able to understand each other with a half-word, so the speech in their conversation can consist of half-hints and abrupt phrases. Men are different. They perceive the world differently than women, and the conversation with the representatives of the stronger sex is not as simple as it might seem at first glance. In order to understand how to properly talk with a guy, you need to know some features of the male perception of the dialogues. To begin with, remember that the need for conversation in men is much less than that of women. Therefore, the conversation between a girl and a boy should not be empty and too long. The guy, tired of stress, just cease to perceive the meaning of speech and go deeper into his own thoughts. If you really want to chat with a young man about trifles, you need to warn him in advance. Then he will treat the conversation correctly, will not strain, trying to catch a deep meaning where he is not. The guy just takes the girl's speech as a sweet, irrelevant twitter. In a serious conversation with a guy should always try to remember the purpose of the conversation. Communicating with her friends, we can afford to be distracted by extraneous topics and then return again to the main. Men like this way of dialogue is given with difficulty. They try to compare ten different directions of the conversation, find a logical connection between them and unite the whole heap of the expressed information into a harmonious whole. Agree - it's not easy. How should we talk with a guy so that he correctly understands everything we want to say? It is necessary to clearly and as briefly as possible formulate the phrases that best fit the topic of the conversation. They should be clear, without hints and unnecessary interjections. A guy needs to understand everything he said at once, and not get lost in conjecture, what are we talking about. Girls, as a rule, discussing something between themselves, can already make some final conclusions during the conversation. The peculiarity of thinking of men is different - they first get information, then build a logical chain out of it and only after that make a conclusion. Therefore, meaningless chatter is confusing and annoying. How correctly to speak with a guy, so as not to cause him unconscious annoyance? It is desirable that the girl's speech was coherent and understandable. And in communication with him, she did not jump from one topic to another.
Topics for conversation
In order to know how to learn to speak withguys, one should have an idea not only how to talk, but also what to talk about. What is interesting for young people? Of course, not a discussion of updates, domestic affairs, fashion magazines, relationships between girlfriends and gossip about the life of celebrities. For men, topics so important to us seem to be just chatter about nothing. Men like to talk about sports, politics, cars ... In a word, about something real, practical, provoking excitement and raising the level of adrenaline. But we can not understand anything in football, politics and cars! What to do? We'll think about what the guys like to talk about yet. Most of them with great pleasure discuss their own successes. So try to talk about such successes, if you know anything about them. If not, then learn to listen carefully or at least pretend that you are listening. Men like it when women enthusiastically listen to their speeches. Sometimes a girl is very difficult to just start a conversation. First, you need to drop all your fears. Do you like him? Then go ahead! Who does not take risks, he does not drink champagne! Think about what you would like to know about this person. Take an interest in his work, hobbies, plans for the future. Below are a few phrases from which you can start a conversation and gradually translate it into the right direction.
- You know, yesterday I read on the Internet ...
- I listened to the news, going to work (to the institute), and there ...
- My brother said that ...
- Do you know computers? I have a problem…
Having started a conversation, in this way, you will show yourself with the best of luck and will interest the young man.
What you should not talk about
In order not to get into an embarrassing situation, you also need to know what topics to talk with a guy are not acceptable:
- Do not talk with a young man to engage in self-criticism and tell him about some situations in which you were not up to par. It is better to keep silent about one's own failures;
- In no case can not discuss othersshortcomings and failures. Men are extremely negative about such conversations and can radically change their attitude towards women, suspecting it of insidiousness and envy;
- Never tell everyone about yourself, especially on the first date. A man must feel a mystery in you;
- Do not complain about life, and especially on health. This will not add to your interest;
- Do not talk about past intimate relationships. Put yourself in the shoes of a man. You, too, would be uncomfortable listening to his former girls and listening to the details of sexual life.
These are the main moments of constructing a conversation. In conclusion, we give a few more tips:
- Start a conversation with a guy you need specifically, without trying to prepare it for the topic. If you start from afar, he will stop listening to you;
- Thinking about what to talk about with a guy, chooseonly those topics in which you are competent. The main thing is to discuss them confidently. He must perceive you as a person who is solid, capable of independent conclusions and decisions;
- In a conversation with a guy, strictly adhere to the logic of the narrative, clearly describe the facts;
- In conversation with a young man as little as possibleuse conditional phrases, for example: "Is not it?" "Can it be so?" and so on. Avoid subjunctive moods ("I would like" "would know" "would wait" and so on). A lot of probabilities in a conversation are hard for a man to perceive;
- Use a hard tone in the conversation, if in thisthere will be a need. Contrary to popular belief, men are able to perceive such a tone quite adequately. But lisping and deliberately soft tone irritates them.
Here, perhaps, that's all. There is nothing difficult in the science of communication with a strong gender, but all of the above is better to adhere to. Otherwise, you risk being misunderstood or misunderstood at all. And your first date will be the last. We advise you to read: