Single mother ... What a strange expression? If a woman has a child, then she is no longer a loner! Nevertheless, nevertheless ... The status of a single mother today has many women, and not all of them pleases. In our days, there is still an opinion among some sections of the population that if the child has a dash in the "father" column, then, to put it mildly, his mother is not quite a worthy woman. Hence - oblique glances, all sorts of gossip and whispering behind his back. How can I endure this? Well, you can stand it. But it's not so easy to raise children without the help of a husband! Yes, single mothers have problems. However, strangely enough, in this situation there are pluses. Let's consider this issue in more detail.

Negative aspects of the status of a single mother

Single mothers become for various reasons. Sometimes a pregnant girlfriend throws a man, sometimes the father officially refuses from his own child, and sometimes a woman decides to give birth to a child for herself, not going to get married at all. Someone's idea "I'm a single mother" is given in pain in the soul, and somebody feels completely calm about it. But anyway, it's always hard to realize that your child is so much needed by no one but you. In addition, the years will pass, and he will want to have a father. From this can not escape, because there are many peers from full-fledged families. Particularly important is the presence of a man in the home becomes in adolescence in boys. After all, mom is not everything you can tell. Often children, who are raised by a single mother, growing up, begin to torment her with the question: "Where is my father?". It is very difficult to give an intelligible and delicate answer to it. Just say "I'm a single mother"? Hardly understand. It is important at such moments to explain clearly to the child that families are different. You can explain, but not all sons or daughters of a single mother can perceive the inferiority of their family painlessly. And the poor mother begins to grow a sense of guilt, which provokes indulgences towards the child and even indulging his unseemly acts. Like, a child without a father, he is already so hard. As a result, normal upbringing turns into an extreme pampering, which is unknown to what will result. Undoubtedly, the status of a single mother can not be withstood easily. And not only for the reason that the child should be provided and try to replace him with both parents. But also because the very woman wants personal happiness too! This individual disorder creates internal discomfort, often resulting in external irritability. Stresses and disruptions of a single mother are reflected in her children, making them anxious and nervous. It's great if a man appears in the house, able to replace such children with his father. It can be an uncle, grandfather, brother, friend or new husband of mother. The main thing is that he understands the whole responsibility of raising children, gave them a good personal example and could give, if necessary, an expert advice. But how difficult it is to find such a person, how difficult! The male relatives are usually busy with their own affairs, and the new husband often does not pay any attention to the children of his wife. Such negative aspects are usually observed in the life of someone for whom the thought "I am a single mother" becomes habitual with time. However, everything is not as bad as it seems at first glance.

Positive aspects of the status of a single mother

If we look at the definition of single mothersimpartially, we can say that these are heroic women who are often able to give their children more than mothers in full-fledged families. Because they realize that they will have to answer for everything themselves, not hoping for someone. And internally ready to carry such a heavy load almost all my life. The better single mothers those who have drinking husbands, but are afraid to disperse, so as not to become a single-divorced with children? They say, he's a father, and he does not bring any money into the house. The child suffers from drunkenness of the pope? Nothing, will grow and stop suffering. An interesting position, is not it? In general, by legislation, the definition of a single mother is treated as the status of a woman who gave birth to a child out of wedlock, if his father is not established. He can be appropriated and the one that was married, but after the appearance of a son or daughter, the former spouse challenged paternity. I must say that single mothers have a lot of benefits, which release them from many bureaucratic difficulties. For example, when traveling abroad, such mothers will not have to look for his father to get permission for the child's removal, and sometimes humbly ask him for such permission. It is not necessary to search for him and in the case of transactions in the registration of some rights of the child. Well, this all refers to the formal side of life of those who have the definition of single mothers. And now let's try to consider the positive aspects of their life from a different point of view. So, what is good about it?

A child is always happy, even if his father is not attached to him. Thanks to the son or daughter, the woman is already spared from loneliness and oppressive silence in the house.

A mother, herself bringing up children, always has the opportunity to be alone with herself. In a full-fledged family, this opportunity is very rare.

Although the woman also has to rely only on herself, but all the successes that such a mother will achieve in conquering the peaks, will belong only to her and the child, and no one else.

One does not need to prove anything to anyone. In the absence of her mother-in-law, there is no one to teach her how to live, no one reproaches and does not blame and does not tell every day how she was the ideal hostess and how heroically she "pulled" and "raised" her children. And you, they say, are inept and lazy.

In an inferior family there is no jealousy of the spouses to the child, and there are no "home wars" on this basis.

Unlike husbands, children do not forbid to be friends withgirlfriends, with whom you can have great fun, whenever you want. After all, a single mother does not need to spin around her husband all weekend and fulfill all his desires. Especially since a child, unlike a spouse, can easily be carried away by their interests.

Let while the child, if it is the son, and is deprived of "man's model of behavior", but nobody will learn to raise on mum a voice and to put dirty socks under a sofa or for the battery.

While married friends are torn between two loving people, you can safely focus on your beloved son or daughter.

In general, a lonely mother has a personal and"Eternal" engine, which gives life acceleration and a new meaning. Such a life is a continuous kaleidoscope of events. And it depends only on the woman how interesting, bright, rich and multifaceted he will be. The whole world is open to her. A lonely mother is given a thousand opportunities to get acquainted with interesting people, including men. A child is a kind of express test for determining the serious intentions of the opposite sex. One can not doubt that if a man tries to find a common language with him, then he really loves a woman. Conclusion: the definition of a woman as a lonely mother is not the end of life. However, in order that this really does not become an end, one should remember - one can not go headlong into a child and sacrifice himself to him. Usually mothers, alone raising children, even with pleasure go to such a step, depriving themselves of communication with adults. In this case, without realizing it, they overload the child's psyche, satisfying through it their emotional needs. Therefore, single mothers simply need to have friends and personal interests, otherwise there may be problems with the adaptation of the son or daughter in society. And in conclusion a few more "can not."

You can not consider a child to be the cause of all his failures. The degree of failure is not determined by the presence of children in the family;

You can not look in the appearance or character of the child's father's lines, hating for this the similarity of both of them;

You can not try to earn money by any means. Emotional contact and communication with the child is much more important than material benefits;

You can not allow yourself to feel guilty for the fact that a child grows without a father.

Perhaps it is hard to believe, but asaccording to statistics, a woman with a child is much easier to marry than childless women. So, not everything is lost, and one should not rush to single mothers to put an end to their personal lives. We advise you to read:

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