Parting is at the top of the listlevel of stress in a woman's life. And if it's not just parting, but divorce - then everything, carcass light! Not only have you just lost love, but also close and lasting relationships - all this is complicated by the solution of a number of other issues. And every woman who finds herself in such a difficult situation, it is necessary to figure out how to forget her ex-husband, otherwise she will simply go mad.

Why do husbands leave?

If the decision on divorce is made recently, nowyour head is spinning from what is happening. At the moment you are very hard. And an important step will be to understand the reasons for what happened. When you do not understand what happened, it adds negative experiences (and there are enough of them already). It does not happen that marriages break up just like that. And almost always the responsibility for this lies on the shoulders of both spouses. But how to find out? To conduct long conversations with the husband - not an option. More precisely, in the future, perhaps, it will become real, but at first you have too many negative emotions in relation to each other, which will significantly affect the course of the conversation and will prevent the approach to truth. What are the reasons?

Treason Ah, this is a terrible word! Even worse is what is behind it: pain, lies, betrayal, humiliation and disappointment. It is rare that a husband fell in love with another woman and, honestly telling the wife about it, left the family. Usually the whole story lasts a long time, and its disclosure is comparable to the explosion. Many articles have been written about the reasons for the changes, including in our magazine. But most often adultery is associated with any problems in marriage. A man feels a lack of something and tries to find it on the side. It is not always possible to foresee this, because a husband may not have enough of what his wife does not suspect or that he can not give him. In any case, the reason should be sought rather deeply in your relationship.

Frequent quarrels In the same way as treason,Conflicts are a consequence and an indicator of problems in family relations. Of course, the subject of quarrels is very important if they boil down to a single reason: the probability is great that this is the painful point in your relationship. But more often it happens that conflicts occurred often and on different occasions, and in this case they were associated with some deeper and more complex problem.

Family crisis As you know, the couple in the processits development passes through a series of difficult stages, without which its development is impossible. Unfortunately, not everyone succeeds in getting through this with honor. Spouses may think that love is gone, but the life together is filled with anxiety, worries and problems. In this case, we must not forget that crises occur in every pair. On the part of some families may seem ideal, but it is not so, and they pass or will pass through exactly the same difficulties as you. The most important thing is to do this together and continue to believe in each other. But if this is forgotten, then one of the spouses (and maybe both) decides to divorce.

Changes in behavior In the process of family lifeeach of the spouses grows up, and his character inevitably changes. This can irritate the second, because it seems that the marriage was with one person, and the output turned out completely different. In general, it should be properly adapted: to talk with the spouse if there were some completely unacceptable things (for example, the wife turned into a meager, and the husband into a house tyrant), and treat the rest humbly and with acceptance. And, of course, it is necessary to understand, from what so happens. In particular, when a child appears, the nature of the spouses changes very much, which is connected with the adoption of their parents' roles.

Infantility of the spouse This, unfortunately, is nota rarity in our day. If earlier the person with whom the whole life was connected was elected to the spouse and he automatically became a relative, from which it is impossible to refuse, in our time everything has changed. At the slightest problems people think that the spouse can be changed for another, and everything will be fine. In men, however, the following phenomenon often occurs: having established a family, they inevitably encounter life and a decrease in the degree of romance in the relationship. And it turns out that they do not like it, and they are not ready for a family in the full sense of the word. So they leave their disgusted wife, hoping that with another woman everything will be different.

If you have a child ...

Of course, surviving the withdrawal of her husband is more difficult when infamily has a child. It's not a secret for anyone that children are very painfully experiencing separation of parents: anxiety, fear, anger, sadness - this is not a complete list of those negative feelings that a small person is going through. All this is associated with a sense of loss in relation to one of the spouses and the fear of losing the second. At the same time, do you know what situation is most difficult for the child? The situation of a chronic divorce, when parents constantly quarrel and shake each other's nerves. Then the child remembers that the family is the source of problems and negative emotions and in the future, probably, will reproduce this scenario. If the divorce is really necessary for the spouses, then it is necessary for the children, because only then does the probability of harmonization and improvement of their life come. Otherwise, when the husband and wife decide to keep the family for the sake of the children, but without mutual love, it is still felt and does not bode well for any of its members. But how to make divorce for a child with minimal stress? As you know, most children tend to blame themselves for parting parents. This unconscious tendency is related to the peculiarities of children's thinking. And the first thing to do is to convince the child that this is not so. If the baby is still very small, then it needs to be done on the energy level, without even allowing the thought that the divorce is connected with his appearance. And if the child is old enough, then it should be explained to him that the father and mother loved each other very much, and from this love he appeared. But then it became very difficult for them to live together, and they accepted this difficult decision. At the same time, they will always remain his mother and father and will love him very much. It can be noted that each of you did everything you could to save the family, but, unfortunately, it was not possible to do it. This is obvious, but all the same it is worth repeating again: in no case can the child's communication with his father be restricted. Of course, you may want to delete it from life, but for the girl and the boy, he is one of the two key figures in development, and depriving him of it is mean and wrong. Even if there is a very tense relationship between you, you must do everything to establish a truce. Naturally, statements such as "dad bad" or "mother disgusting" are unacceptable. It will be great if you manage to keep the routine of the day familiar to the child. This will give him at least some sense of stability. Spend a lot of time with him and encourage your husband to do the same. And take for granted that the child is very likely to have any psychological problems. Divorce is always a trauma, and you should find a specialist who will help correct violations in behavior or development. Remember that now you both are very hurt. But to imagine what your child is feeling now, increase this pain every two or three. It's terrible, is not it? Do not bury yourself under the infinite sense of guilt associated with parting, but you need to be aware that during this period the child especially needs your love and support. Learn to look for resources for this somewhere out there, for example, in communicating with friends, a new hobby or a change of appearance. Well, if the child has a favorite grandparents, with whom you can leave the child for a while, while you are divorced and gain strength.

How can this be experienced?

How to forget an ex-husband if you are hard to get upin the mornings, life seems dull and meaningless, and nothing else can bring a smile to your face? But this will not last forever. Such a depressive state will last one to a maximum of two weeks, and then it will become much easier. In this difficult period, tears and emotional torment are considered normal, but do not overdo it - there should not be masochism in them. And in the evening before going to sleep learn to trust the space, which seems to become lulling - you can draw your soul from here. The most important postulate of the experience of parting - time heals. Yes, now it seems to you that life is over, and nothing good will be done. But soon it will pass. And you will need to learn to live your life. Of course, at first many changes will upset you and embarrass you, but you quickly adapt to them. Count on the help of friends and do not hesitate to ask them about it, only without manipulation: you are not an unfortunate victim, but a strong person who has had a serious test. If your husband has gone to another woman, then you will inevitably be overcome by anger and envy. The first thing to remember about: their relationship is their relationship. He does not give her what should be given to you, and their love belongs to them. She is a stranger to you, and wanting to take her away is tantamount to wanting to take someone else's man away. Be above it and focus on yourself. After the divorce, many women face a crisis of self-esteem and their feminine self-image. This is normal, but it should not be delayed. In general, the feeling of one's own femininity depends not only on the reflection in the surrounding men, but also on the person who carries it. Therefore it is very useful to periodically remind yourself that you are a woman, to evoke this feeling within yourself and emphasize it. Well, on the part of the action, it can be backed up with beautiful outfits, flirting and other actions that are associated with self-love. In such a difficult situation as leaving a husband, it is important to remember that no event in our life happens for no reason. For some reason, this is necessary. It is possible that only after the divorce you will gain personal qualities that you have long lacked or understand, what you really want from this life. Maybe you finally realize with what kind of man you want to be around, and which ones should pass by. The sense in any case is - at least in the fact that surviving it, you will become very strong, and any other life difficulties you will seem childish babble on the lawn. Therefore, hold on and remember the wisdom of King Solomon: "And it will pass ...".

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