Single mother... What a strange expression!If a woman has a child, it means she is no longer single! Nevertheless, nevertheless... The status of a single mother is held by many women today, and not everyone is happy about it. Nowadays, some segments of the population still believe that if a child's "father" column is blank, it means that his mother is, to put it mildly, not quite a worthy woman. Hence the sidelong glances, all sorts of gossip and whispers behind your back. How can you endure all this? Well, you can endure it. But raising children without the help of a husband is not so easy! Yes, single mothers have enough problems. However, oddly enough, this situation also has its advantages. Let's consider this issue in more detail.

The Negatives of Being a Single Mother

People become single mothers for different reasonsreasons. Sometimes a pregnant friend is abandoned by a man, sometimes a father officially refuses his own child, and sometimes a woman decides to have a child for herself, without even planning to get married. For some, the thought “I am a single mother” is a painful thought in the soul, while others take it completely calmly. But be that as it may, it is always difficult to realize that your child is so much needed by no one except you. In addition, years will pass, and he will want to have a father. There is no escape from this, because there are many peers from full-fledged families nearby. The presence of a man in the house becomes especially important for boys in adolescence. After all, you can’t tell your mother everything. Often, children raised by a single mother, growing up, begin to torment her with the question: “Where is my dad?” It can be very difficult to give an intelligible and delicate answer to this. Just say: “I am a single mother”? It is unlikely that he will understand. It is important at such moments to clearly explain to the child that families are different. It can be explained, but not all sons or daughters of a single mother can accept the inferiority of their family without pain. And the poor mother begins to feel guilty, which provokes indulgences in relation to the child and even indulgence in his unseemly behavior. Like, a child without a father, he has it hard enough. As a result, normal upbringing turns into extreme spoiling, which is unknown where it will lead. Undoubtedly, the status of a single mother is not easy to endure. And not only because the child needs to be provided for and try to replace both parents. But also because the woman herself also wants personal happiness! Such individual instability gives rise to internal discomfort, often resulting in external irritability. The stress and breakdowns of a single mother affect her children, making them anxious and nervous. It is wonderful if a man appears in the house who is able to replace a father for such children. This could be an uncle, grandfather, brother, friend or mother's new husband. The main thing is that he understands the full responsibility of raising children, sets a good personal example for them and could give sensible advice if necessary. But how difficult it is to find such a person, how difficult! Male relatives are usually busy with their own affairs, and the new husband often does not pay any attention to the wife's children at all. Such negative aspects are usually observed in the life of someone for whom the thought "I am a single mother" eventually becomes habitual. However, everything is not as bad as it seems at first glance.

The Positives of Being a Single Mother

If you look at the definition of single mothersUnbiased, we can say that these are heroic women who are often able to give their children more than mothers in full-fledged families. Because they realize that they will have to answer for everything themselves, without relying on anyone. And they are internally ready to carry such a heavy burden almost their entire lives. How are those who have drinking husbands but are afraid to separate, so as not to become a single divorcee with children, better than single mothers? They say, he is the father, and he brings some money into the house. Does the child suffer from the father's drunkenness? No matter, he will grow up and stop suffering. An interesting position, isn't it? In general, according to the law, the definition of a single mother is interpreted as the status of a woman who gave birth to a child out of wedlock, if the father has not been identified. It can also be assigned to a woman who was married, but after the birth of a son or daughter, the ex-husband disputed paternity. It should be said that single mothers have a lot of benefits that free them from many bureaucratic difficulties. For example, when going abroad, such a mother will not have to look for his father to obtain permission to take the child out of the country and sometimes humiliatingly ask him for such permission. There is no need to look for him in the case of transactions when registering some rights of the child. Well, this all relates to the formal side of the life of those who have the definition of single mothers. Now let's try to consider the positive aspects of their life from a different point of view. So, what is good about it?

A child is always happy, even if his father is not attached to him. Thanks to the son or daughter, the woman is already spared from loneliness and oppressive silence in the house.

A mother, herself bringing up children, always has the opportunity to be alone with herself. In a full-fledged family, this opportunity is very rare.

Although the woman also has to rely only on herself, but all the successes that such a mother will achieve in conquering the peaks, will belong only to her and the child, and no one else.

One does not need to prove anything to anyone. In the absence of her mother-in-law, there is no one to teach her how to live, no one reproaches and does not blame and does not tell every day how she was the ideal hostess and how heroically she "pulled" and "raised" her children. And you, they say, are inept and lazy.

In an inferior family there is no jealousy of the spouses to the child, and there are no "home wars" on this basis.

Unlike husbands, children do not forbid to be friends withgirlfriends, with whom you can have great fun, whenever you want. After all, a single mother does not need to spin around her husband all weekend and fulfill all his desires. Especially since a child, unlike a spouse, can easily be carried away by their interests.

Let while the child, if it is the son, and is deprived of "man's model of behavior", but nobody will learn to raise on mum a voice and to put dirty socks under a sofa or for the battery.

While married friends are torn between two loving people, you can safely focus on your beloved son or daughter.

In general, a single mother’s baby is her personaland a "perpetual" engine that gives life acceleration and new meaning. Such a life is a continuous kaleidoscope of events. And it depends only on the woman how interesting, bright, rich and multifaceted it will be. The whole world is open to her. A single mother is given a thousand opportunities to meet interesting people, including men. And a child is a kind of express test to determine the serious intentions of the opposite sex. There is no doubt that if a man tries to find a common language with him, it means that he truly loves a woman. Conclusion: defining a woman as a single mother is not the end of life. However, in order for this not to really become the end, you should remember - you can not go headlong into the child and sacrifice yourself for him. Usually, mothers who raise children alone even gladly take such a step, depriving themselves of communication with adults. In this case, without realizing it, they overload the psyche of the child, satisfying their emotional needs through him. Therefore, single mothers simply need to have friends and personal interests, otherwise there may be problems with the adaptation of their son or daughter in society. And finally, a few more "don'ts".

You can not consider a child to be the cause of all his failures. The degree of failure is not determined by the presence of children in the family;

You can not look in the appearance or character of the child's father's lines, hating for this the similarity of both of them;

You can not try to earn money by any means. Emotional contact and communication with the child is much more important than material benefits;

You can not allow yourself to feel guilty for the fact that a child grows without a father.

It may be hard to believe, but howStatistics say that it is much easier for a woman with a child to get married than for childless representatives of the fairer sex. So not all is lost, and single mothers should not rush to put an end to their personal lives. We recommend reading:

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