For a twenty or even thirty year oldMen, the words that life only begins at forty mean nothing at best, and at worst sound as implausible as stories about fairies, yeti and UFOs. But time is inexorably bringing us closer to this number, which many are inclined, and not without reason, to consider a kind of boundary smoothly dividing life into the period before and after it. What happens in the minds of men after they reach forty, how does their psychology change or not, and what should we, women, do in this situation? Psychology has defined the condition that occurs in men at forty, calling it a midlife crisis. Since the onset of this (in a certain way fatal!) date is inevitable in the fate of every man, regardless of his marital status, height, weight and position, we should understand what signs clearly tell us about its approach or that it has already arrived.
All ready: the crisis is coming!
There is a tendency in human natureAnalyzing what is happening in your own life is very important and correct for every person. As a rule, we time the summing up to certain milestones, dates in our lives: what have we achieved in a year, what do we have in our life after reaching a certain number of years, what can we still do or undertake and can we still, in fact? If at twenty years old guys do not think too much about some moments that took place in his still fairly young life, then the psychology of a man after the onset of his forties makes very significant adjustments and changes in his behavior. Men often begin to look back, casting a critical eye on the past and trying to objectively evaluate the results achieved: work and social life, financial well-being and various achievements, home, family and children, friends, health. Their life is subjected to close and severe self-analysis: what have they lived for all these years, what have they strived for, and what do they have at the moment? This is where strange things can happen that have not been noticed in this man before.
Finding yourself: emotional throwing
He realizes that everything that was previously includedfor so many years in the circle of his interests, suddenly lost all its significance and appeal. Work ceased to be so important and interesting, everything in the family somehow became habitual, the children grew up, the relationship with the wife is rolling along some pre-known and well-worn track, from which it seems there is no way to deviate; after all, over many years spent side by side, you know each other practically by heart. Whatever became the reason for disappointment and the onset of boredom, apathy and disharmony in the soul, but the psychology of a man suggests to him only one way out of the situation: you need to start acting. Especially now, when there is less and less time left. Many women, choosing the waiting tactic - they say, he will calm down and calm down - make a rash decision. Maybe he will calm down, but not at all as you expect. Imagine that now in front of you is a completely new, different person, a stranger. But at the same time, you treat him very well and wish him only the best. Now, more than ever, your man is experiencing unprecedented stress, and it is in your power to help your partner overcome it, unobtrusively, as only we women can do.
The situation goes out of control, or escape, who can
Of course, you shouldn't only think about the bad,as well as setting yourself up for negativity. It should be understood that a crisis is a time of change, which should be treated calmly. But there are things that every woman should know, because, despite the fact that men try to cope with the crisis that has come to their souls on their own, the decisions or actions that they take affect us in one way or another. What can a man do and how should he react to this?
- He decides to change his career abruptly. It should not be considered erroneous or hasty. Work, career and social status is just more of an area that affects the personality of your partner the most. If he thinks that he needs to change something in his career, to change his field of activity, or to withdraw altogether, then you have to make his decision, at least calmly, or better still, to support him.
- He announces to you his desire to part withyou. The reasons here can be very different. From quite simple, when a man just needs to take a timeout, some breathing space, after which everything will return to normal, and the feelings of a man will come to normal and calm down. Until the sad - the marriage was saved more for visibility or out of responsibility, which had a value for your partner. And now the children have grown up, most of the obligations have been fulfilled, and he wants to live only for himself. If it is a question of the last assumption, then it is possible to keep it by force, but the consequences will not be successful. Most likely, no matter how many years after that your relationship lasts, you can not call them confidential or close.
- Love is on the side. It is sad to admit this fact, but it is in this age period that our faithful most often establish connections on the side. The psychology of this behavior is explained not only and not so much by the routine that is possible after so many years of marriage. Not only does the novelty of other relationships attract your husband, in the past a loyal family man and a loving father, pushing him into the arms of other women.
He suddenly realizes that there are many things in the worldother women who could theoretically be interesting to him and for whom he himself is of interest. If not now, then when? After all, the chance will go away and never return. To forgive or not to forgive betrayal is your personal business. Of course, not every woman can do this. But believe the experience of many wives who were able to survive this and save the family, it is worth doing, especially if your husband has not had a reputation as a fickle traitor until now.
- The man has health problems on hisbackground suddenly visited his depression. A huge number of representatives of men suddenly realize that they are no longer heroes, and discover the world of medicine. But only not with joy, but with sadness, finding in this confirmation of the old age. The circle closes, and already it seems that it does not escape from it. Of course, this is not so. Receiving the necessary support, first of all, in the person of relatives and friends, your beloved head of the family will be able to cope with such a manifestation of the coming crisis.
- Despite the fact that the manifestation of the crisis, whichwe now tell you, perhaps, least affects the environment of a particular man and his family, but for some mysterious reason it is the strongest reaction with a sufficiently pronounced negative coloring. Your man wanted to change something in appearance or caught on with the idea of some new business. Psychology explains this by the fact that in your search for something new, which will again feel your own uniqueness, freshness, youth and the opportunity to do something new in life, your partner chose this path as the least traumatic for himself and others.
Agree if he decided unexpectedly for yougrow or shave your hair, join a sports club or jump with a parachute, although you have never been particularly fond of such activities before, then this does not pose any threat to your family and your relationship. Believe me, this is important for him at this time, show loyalty and allow him to bring his plans to life. A certain part of the representatives of the strong half of humanity quickly comes to normal, expressing themselves in a manner completely unusual for them, and after a while you will again see in front of you the man with whom you have lived for many years, and not a slightly lost stranger and a frightening eccentric.
- Sex life has completely declined,or, on the contrary, it’s as if Casanova has taken possession of your partner. Again, we urge lovely ladies to show patience and understanding, especially in the first case, when the most terrible thoughts creep into your head – from “He has fallen out of love with me, and I no longer attract him as a woman” to “He has a mistress”. That’s not the point. A man who is completely immersed in analyzing what is happening in his life at this moment is simply physically unable to be distracted by anything else. Of course, this period is also quite fleeting, and your partner will soon again seek your love and affection.
In a situation where you seem to find yourself back inyour honeymoon, you should do something even simpler: indulge in it with joy and delight. explains this by the fact that a man wants to prove to himself that he is still young in both soul and body. The right spiritual and moral guidelines allow him not to go beyond the boundaries of generally accepted behavior, and to prove this within the confines of his own bedroom, without gathering a dozen or two young lovers around him and protecting his family hearth from collapse.
After all, in 40 years, life is just beginning!
We all know that any disease is much simplerprevent, rather than treat it and its consequences. It is absolutely certain that this approach can be correlated with your man's midlife crisis. It is clear that you do not have the most probable opportunity to try to prevent it, but you can prevent radical manifestations of this notorious crisis, as well as mitigate most of its negative consequences. After all, we are not talking about a stranger, but about a person close to you, with whom you have many connections and unites. To do this, you do not need to have supernatural powers or any special talents. It is quite enough to show the original feminine qualities - patience, understanding, and most importantly - love, on which the entire psychology of a woman is based. Perceive this crisis as a chance to see your partner from a different side, discover something new in him, be able to understand and accept this new. It is advisable to consider this period as a time given to you for self-education and self-knowledge. After all, you too will have to discover something new in yourself, as a response to unusual behavior in your man, despite the fact that you have already spent many years with him. Men, in whose families there is an understanding attitude to the transformations taking place in their souls and consciousness, live through this notorious and unfortunate crisis much easier, and most importantly, much faster and with minimal consequences. A completely healthy thought appears in their minds that life goes on, and in some ways begins again, it is full of colors and sensations, and most importantly, that he has understanding and love from a woman. After all, with such support, no crises are certainly scary! We recommend reading:
