Supermam - this is a creature that allwant to be similar, but who rarely saw it live. It is some kind of semi-mythical, but inspires a bunch of complexes in any living human mother. Here, for example, than mothers on forums divide: Olga, 28 years old, mother of two kids: "I'm ashamed to admit, but before the birth of children I considered myself a good mom. And now all these supermachas just annoy me! You look at Instagram all these photos: combed, beautiful, with a child in her arms. And a breakfast of five dishes with blueberries laid out in the form of a heart. And the signature: "My boys were satisfied!" And I ... In my pajamas. The tail of the hair on the neck, on the shirt manna porridge, the elder does not eat an omelet, the husband himself strokes his shirt. And I still have to go to school ... My hands go down and I want to cry. "Irina, 32, mother of 9-year-old Nastya:" I'm tired of these rabid mothers! Today, at the meeting, I was reprimanded because I did not bring tangerines to a charity concert, I did not prepare a handicraft for the daughter of cones, and in general I pay little attention to class life. Yes, I never went to a planetarium or circus with them. But I have a job. I feel disgusting. Am I really a bad mother? How do they manage all this? And that, their children are better off? "And they often run up to the sermon. Ekaterina, 35, mother of two daughters:" Stop whining! Do not have time, so it's your own fault! You need to think about your head. Count the day, deal with children, and not throw them in kindergartens and schools with prolongations. Why then gave birth? A normal mother will do everything for her children. And her husband is polished, and the children are talented. You are all just lazy! "
Photo:In the wake of these online battles, Woman's Day has collected 6 main myths about supermothers. And I found out what was behind them. Myth 1: She never gets tired Reality: Mom gets tired. Sometimes up to trembling knees. After work, she just wants to crawl to bed. And we still need to feed everyone with dinner, do homework with the child. The child is capricious and does not want to study, copy from a draft, print the letter "U". But this must be done. And the understanding comes that it is better to do homework with a calm mother. Pupils feel irritated and tired of the parent. This is the secret of the "tireless mother" - the emotions that weariness carries, the woman simply hides in order to quickly get even with household chores. And the thought of how she wants to collapse on her face into the pillow, all this time does not leave her head. Myth 2: Supermom is always in shape Reality: when you have a bunch of things that cannot fit in a day, what do you do? That's right, you are trying to organize your tasks. Prioritize, set up a daily routine. In solving maternal problems, this approach also helps. A wise mother does not refuse help, uses the achievements of modern technology (charge the multicooker in the evening so that she cooks porridge for breakfast, for example), thinks over the menu for a week and purchases products based on the list, puts the house in order according to a certain system (for example, dividing by cleaning zone days). And one day she realizes that she has a little time for the pool, yoga or dancing. Myth 3: Supermoms Remember Everything Reality: No, she doesn't have a rubber brain at all. From the outside, it looks as if she is informed in all the details of what is happening in the life of her child: she knows when there were compositions on the theme "Winter" and "Who is in charge in the forest", remembers everything to a single date, from the birthday of the class teacher to the day of the English Olympiad, etc. In fact, this mother keeps a diary. Or maybe more than one. The timetables of all classes are posted on the refrigerator. The phone has an information and reminder program. To a loud "alarm". Myth 4: A supermom has the gift of unlimited patience Reality: we are all human beings, everyone has a different stock of patience - someone will explode in half a minute, someone needs to be brought to a boil for hours. But this does not mean that nothing can be done about it. Patience can be nurtured and put to use. For example, you can force a child to put away his toys in a room in different ways: each time with a shout, or even spanking, or have patience for a week and calmly and affectionately collect toys with the baby. Teaching a child certain rules is what gives mom such super-patience.
Photo: Getty Images Myth 5:Supermoms have an ideal husband (mom, family, childhood, home) Reality: we cannot change our childhood, but we can change our present. Girls who did not have good relationships in the family also become supermoms. And the deliberately glossy photos of "My Ideal Family" in social networks are not because my mother is bursting with the desire to share her happiness. Rather, because loved ones (the same husband) do not pay enough attention to the woman. Likes become for them support, which they do not receive in the family, and compliments from subscribers are recognition of merit and efforts that the husband and children do not appreciate.Myth 6: Supermoms have ideal children Reality: Do you believe in ideal children? Yes, they can have medals, certificates and excellent grades, which speaks of the great efforts of the parents. But all children go through the same stages of growing up. Everyone has whims, disobedience and breakdowns. By the way, there is another extreme here, when mothers are trying to realize their unfulfilled dreams through a child. And the kid begins to earn absolutely unnecessary medals and certificates and goes to study to become a lawyer, although he always dreamed of becoming a designer. So who is a super mom? And is she even there? Recently, the "good mom" normal point has taken off into space, where no rocket has yet reached. Young mothers are seriously trying to find the standards: "How much time does it take to spend with a baby to be a good mother?", "When can a mother return to work?" your intellectual potential? ”Remember: you do not need to devote your whole life to striving to become ideal. If you don’t want, of course, to be labeled “mad mother”, “Yazhmat”, “I will break it”. Motherhood does not fit into clear instructions, competent rules and job responsibilities - no matter how anyone tries to prescribe rules of conduct for mothers. Scientists have long proved that fanaticism and motherhood are incompatible things. If a woman is madly striving to become a supermother, these are already signs of neurasthenia, dissatisfaction with personal life, loneliness. A negligent mother will sometimes benefit the child more than a super-mother with her efforts to be better than everyone, even through her children. These are two extremes that are best avoided - both. Psychologists have said many times: “It's impossible to be an ideal mother. Just being good is enough. " The golden mean is about us.
