Supermam - this is a creature that allwant to be similar, but who rarely saw it live. It is some kind of semi-mythical, but inspires a bunch of complexes in any living human mother. Here, for example, than mothers on forums divide: Olga, 28 years old, mother of two kids: "I'm ashamed to admit, but before the birth of children I considered myself a good mom. And now all these supermachas just annoy me! You look at Instagram all these photos: combed, beautiful, with a child in her arms. And a breakfast of five dishes with blueberries laid out in the form of a heart. And the signature: "My boys were satisfied!" And I ... In my pajamas. The tail of the hair on the neck, on the shirt manna porridge, the elder does not eat an omelet, the husband himself strokes his shirt. And I still have to go to school ... My hands go down and I want to cry. "Irina, 32, mother of 9-year-old Nastya:" I'm tired of these rabid mothers! Today, at the meeting, I was reprimanded because I did not bring tangerines to a charity concert, I did not prepare a handicraft for the daughter of cones, and in general I pay little attention to class life. Yes, I never went to a planetarium or circus with them. But I have a job. I feel disgusting. Am I really a bad mother? How do they manage all this? And that, their children are better off? "And they often run up to the sermon. Ekaterina, 35, mother of two daughters:" Stop whining! Do not have time, so it's your own fault! You need to think about your head. Count the day, deal with children, and not throw them in kindergartens and schools with prolongations. Why then gave birth? A normal mother will do everything for her children. And her husband is polished, and the children are talented. You are all just lazy! "
A photo: GettyImagesIn the footsteps of these online battles Woman's Day has collected 6 basic myths about super-mothers. And found out that they are behind them. Myth 1: She never gets tired. Actuality: my mother gets tired. Sometimes to a shiver in the knees. After work she wants to just crawl to bed. And we must still feed everyone with dinner, do lessons with the child. The child is capricious and does not want to be engaged, to copy from the draft, to deduce the letter "Yu." But it must be done. And comes the understanding that homework is best done with a calm mother. Students feel irritated and tired parent. This is the secret of the "untiring mother" - emotions that are fatigued, the woman simply hides to quickly get even with domestic chores. And the thought of how you want to crash your face into a pillow, all this time, her head does not leave. Myth 2: Supermama is always in the form of Action: when you have a lot of things that can not fit in a day, what do you do? That's right, you're trying to organize your tasks. Prioritize, make a daily routine. In solving maternal problems, this approach also helps. A wise mother does not refuse to help, she uses the achievements of modern technology (to charge in the evening a multivark so she cooks porridge for breakfast, for example), thinks through the menu for a week and buys products based on the list, puts the house in order for a certain system (for example, days of the harvesting zone). And one day she realizes that she has a little time for swimming, yoga or dancing. Myth 3: Supermam all remember Action: no, it does not have a rubber brain. From the outside it looks as if she is informed in all the details of what is happening in her child's life: knows when there were works on the theme "Winter" and "Who is in charge of the forest", remembers everything to the same date, from the birthday of the class teacher to the day of the Olympics in English, etc. In fact, this mother keeps a diary. And maybe not one. On the refrigerator hang the timetable of all classes. The program for informing and reminding is stuffed in the phone. On a loud "alarm." Myth 4: Supermam has the gift of unlimited patience. Reality: we are all people, everyone has a different patience - someone will explode in half a minute, someone should be brought to a boil for hours. But this does not mean that there is nothing to be done about it. You can grow and apply patience. For example, to force a child to remove his toys in the room can be different: each time with a cry, and even slaps or have patience for a week and calmly and affectionately collect toys together with the baby. Teaching the child certain rules and gives my mother such super-patience.
Photo: Getty ImagesMyth 5:Supermoms have an ideal husband (mother, family, childhood, home)Reality: we cannot change our childhood, but we can change our present. Girls who did not have good relationships in the family also become supermoms. And the deliberately glossy photos of "My ideal family" on social networks are not because the mother is bursting with the desire to share her happiness. Rather, it is because loved ones (the same husband) do not pay enough attention to the woman. Likes become for them the support that they do not get in the family, and compliments from subscribers are recognition of merits and efforts that are not appreciated by the husband and children.Myth 6: Supermoms have ideal childrenReality: do you believe in ideal children? Yes, they can have medals, certificates and excellent grades, which speaks of the great efforts of their parents. But all children go through the same stages of growing up. Everyone has whims, disobedience and breakdowns. By the way, there is another extreme here, when mothers try to realize their unfulfilled dreams through their child. And the child begins to earn medals and certificates that are completely unnecessary for him and goes to study to become a lawyer, although he always dreamed of becoming a designer. So who is a supermom? And does she even exist? Recently, the point of the norm "good mother" has soared into space, where no rocket has yet flown. Young mothers are seriously trying to find standards: "How much time should I spend with my baby to be a good mother?", "When can a mother return to work?", "I don't earn extra money while on maternity leave, I'm bad and stupid, will I lose my intellectual potential?" Remember: you don't have to devote your whole life to the desire to become ideal. Unless, of course, you want to be labeled as a "mad mother", "I'm a mother", "I'll tear up my child". Motherhood does not fit into clear instructions, competent rules and job responsibilities - no matter how someone tries to prescribe rules of conduct for mothers. Scientists have long proven that fanaticism and motherhood are incompatible. If a woman madly strives to become a supermother - these are already signs of neurasthenia, dissatisfaction with her personal life, loneliness. A negligent mother will sometimes bring more benefit to the child than a supermother with her efforts to be the best, even through her children. These are two extremes that are best avoided - both. Psychologists have said many times: "It is impossible to be an ideal mother. It is enough to just be good." The golden mean is about us.
