A photo: firestock School performance is what parents usually put first. And it seems surprising to them why the neighbor troechnik Kolya rides a luxury jeep, and the diligent student and pride of the school Masha works as an ordinary employee in an obscure company. Self-assessment is extremely important for every person. Psychologists say that people around us treat us the way we treat ourselves. This explains the fact that people with low self-esteem, even having outstanding qualities, cause to themselves only hostility and disrespect. But mediocre, but loving and valuing people often achieve great heights, and all because they inspire others with respect and reverence. Self-esteem is formed throughout the entire period of maturation. It is important that parents give proper attention to this. How to correct the child’s self-esteem, we were told by the medical psychologist Elena Nikolaeva. Elena Nikolaeva, medical psychologist
Each of us would like to see your child.successful, confident, worthy, but not all parents understand what role his self-esteem plays in this. Self-esteem, or, otherwise, self-attitude, the child’s perception of himself is formed at an early age under the influence of many factors. This is the opinion of others, and the general psychological atmosphere, and the relationship between parents, parents and children, different generations, and of course the attitude of parents to the child. The increase in self-esteem of the child, his self-confidence is the result of the daily work of parents and close environment. for parents, to sincerely love your child and show him all your love, to be attentive to him, then you will see where he is having difficulties, what problems he has, what is connected with experiences. Once you have found the weak points, look for a way to strengthen them.
Photo: firestock Elena Nikolaeva, medical psychologistTo form adequate self-esteem for parentsIt is important to create such a relationship with the child in which he will be able to perceive himself favorably, feel the love and support of his parents in a variety of situations. In this case, without lowering his self-esteem, he will be able to perceive small comments addressed to him, criticism, losses, failures and other people's successes. Do not forget that the child carefully observes and often copies the behavior of his parents. Show by your own example an adequate attitude to successes and failures. Self-esteem is not inherited, but acquired. If possible, try to form initiative even in the most shy child, so that he learns to do something independently. A good way to develop self-confidence in children is to assign them feasible household chores. A two-year-old can pick up his toys from the floor and put them in a special container, a three-year-old can take the laundry to the basket for washing, and children aged 5-6 can wash their cups and plates, water the flowers, wipe the dust in accessible places. A sense of responsibility, even on a small scale, is great for organizing, fostering independence and giving an understanding that everything will work out. If a child feels that he can cope with difficulties and complete feasible tasks, this will really increase his self-esteem.
Photo: firestock Elena Nikolaeva, medical psychologistTeach your child to finish what he started.Make it a rule to come to the rescue only when the child asks for it. As he grows, do not forget to tell him that he is big enough and that he can handle this task, he can handle it himself. Learn to switch attention from what did not work out to what worked out well (“Yes, today you lost the sea battle, but you hid your ships very cleverly, even I would not have thought of that”). Develop the child’s sociability, help him make new acquaintances, but control his social circle (at least until he is 9-10 years old). A child’s self-esteem is formed under the influence of people who are important to him. If a 3-year-old’s self-image is formed mainly by his parents and under the influence of adults, then a 7-year-old child can already fall under the influence of his peers. Control the appearance of such a “friend” among them who will suppress your child’s self-esteem and allow offensive remarks towards him. Do not forget to praise your child. Find in your child and his behavior what you can praise him for sincerely, what causes your admiration and pride. Having heard pleasant words addressed to him, he will try even harder to get approval again. Let your children grow up happy and self-confident, surrounding them with love, respect and support. To determine the level of self-esteem, psychologists use various tests. We offer you the evaluative projective method "Tree" by D. Lampen. According to the instructions, it is necessary to invite the child to look at a picture with a tree and little people and start coloring it. Moreover, at first the child should color the trunk and branches of the tree brown (as he colors, he examines and studies the picture in detail, noticing what each of the little people is doing and what mood he is in). Then it is suggested to color in red the little person who, in the child's opinion, is most similar to him (mood, position); and in green - the little person he would like to be in the future.
Photo: evaluative projective method "Tree" by D.LampenaLittle men #1, 3, 6, 7 are chosen by children who easily overcome obstacles and who are not afraid of difficulties that arise in communicating with peers or adults. #2, 11, 12, 18 and 19 represent sociability and the ability to make friends. #20 is associated with a child with high self-esteem, a leader by nature and self-confident. #4 is chosen, as a rule, by the child who is in absolute harmony with himself and does not want to move forward, achieving new goals. #5 characterizes physical weakness, rapid fatigue, shyness. #8 - detachment and withdrawal into one's thoughts. #9 - lightness and craving for entertainment. Little men #13 and 21 are chosen by withdrawn and anxious children, and #10 and 15 - kids who feel good and comfortable in a group of children. Children who are experiencing a crisis or strong internal fear at this moment associate themselves with No. 14. No. 16 represents a child who adapts to any opinion and is ready to make sacrifices. No. 17 characterizes a child who is unable to cope with emerging problems on his own. Thus, children with the most adequate self-esteem and harmonious internal state choose little people with numbers: 1, 2, 3, 6, 7, 10, 11, 12, 15, 18, 19. But parents of children who chose No. 14, 8, 13, 16, 17, 21 should be especially attentive to their children.
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Have you noticed that some children havesimply an amazing ability to communicate with everyone around them - peers, teenagers, adults? Such children are happy and cheerful, they are always in a good mood and attract the attention of everyone around them without exception. And some are sullen loners, with whom there is nothing to talk about. This is a sad sight. But this means only one thing - such a sullen person has low self-esteem and the parents are exclusively to blame for this. After all, the family is the basis of the future character and disposition of the child. It is mom and dad who form the baby's internal assessment of his behavior, skills and even intelligence.
