The first date for girls is like... the firstBuying a car for guys. As if everything is familiar, all the conditions are met, girlfriends have told everything, but what to do and what to say is still unclear. Many girls get lost on the first date, because they do not know what to talk about with a guy. Both guys and girls have always been interested in what you can talk about on a first date. The question of what you can talk about with a stranger, especially when the first rudiments of mutual sympathy have arisen, has always interested the fair sex. It is best to consider your first conversation on a date with a guy as an opportunity to demonstrate your interest. It is quite possible that the guy is also worried and hopes that the girl will suggest topics for conversation. Therefore, it is important to think in advance what to talk about with a guy, and what topics of conversation are best left untouched on the first date.

How to start

You don't need to set yourself the goal of showing off youroratory skills acquired in the school debate club. Sometimes a smile and a look can convey more information about the disposition to the interlocutor than the entire large encyclopedia. And not only sometimes. Excessive chatter often leads to completely different results than expected. The right look and an appropriate smile can melt the ice of the first conversation. Indeed, the stiffness of the first moments of communication is easier to overcome by smiling. A guy who is greeted with a smile, as a rule, always starts talking first. And then everything will follow by itself. The conversation starts, a lively conversation begins... And this is where many make mistakes. Very often, girls on the first date either tell a bunch of useless details about their lives, or answer all the guy's questions in monosyllables. Neither one nor the other should be done.

What you can not talk about

Planning or just thinking about what you willtalk to a young man, prohibit yourself from certain topics in advance. For example, you shouldn't discuss your illnesses. Believe me, a conversation about health will interest your doctor more than your interlocutor on the first date. If you don't set a goal for yourself to make an appointment with a therapist together, then you shouldn't talk about ailments. Another taboo topic is discussions about wealth. How many cars are in your dad's garage and how much money is in his (or his parents') accounts, how these benefits were obtained - this is a very interesting topic for the tax office. But in no case for young people on a romantic date. Discussing the level of income with a stranger is simply indecent. Just as it is indecent to talk about your personal life. There will be time for this later. Another topic that needs to be not just closed, but even buried and forgotten where it is buried is past relationships. Stories about your "ex" or "exes" are unlikely to please your interlocutor, and you will also be unpleasant to know when, how and with whom the person who is currently with you spent time before you. You need to live in the present, and comparisons with "ex" are the lot of grumpy and stupid ladies with an unclear position in life. You are not like that!

Show female wisdom

If the guy really interests you, thentry to find out more about him. Don't ask questions like a machine gun, but gently, listening to his words, weave the thread of the conversation. Wise women listen more than they speak themselves. For this, you don't need much: show a sincere interest in his stories and ask leading questions, starting from the details that are present in his narrative. Any little thing in the conversation can be the beginning of a very interesting story about your vis-à-vis. But - attention! If the guy still starts talking about his previous women - listen doubly attentively. Because the way he speaks about them can serve as a signal for understanding what he expects from you and what kind of girl he does not want to see in his future. And you can also predict how he will later talk about you. And do not hope that all the women who surrounded him before you were bad, and it is impossible to say anything bad about such an angel as you are. They may have thought the same, but the negativity that colors the stories about them characterizes the guy himself rather than his ex-girlfriends. If you don’t know what to talk about, then tell some funny story from something you’ve heard or read recently. Don’t tell on the first date how many cats live in your apartment, what a bastard your drunk neighbor can be, or, even worse, about your overly complicated class schedule at university or school. You shouldn’t ask the guy about his personal life and biography either. This is not an interrogation, but a date. And you came to have a good time with the guy, not to fill out questionnaires, his, yours, or your neighbors’. Leave at least some information for later. Guys are interested in girls who leave room for fantasy and guesswork, and don’t tell their entire biography, starting from diapers, continuing with vaccinations in kindergarten, and ending with grades on exams at school - This is not the kind of information that you should pour out on a guy on the very first day of your acquaintance. It is quite possible that after an abundant flow of such information, a second date may not take place. For the simple reason that the guy will simply be bored with you.

Look for common ground

If two people have common interests andhobbies, then the question of what to talk about disappears by itself. In general, people with common views are usually involuntarily drawn to each other. Therefore, during a conversation, it is worthwhile to purposefully look for these common topics. You can talk about things that make your life more enjoyable, about the music you like to listen to, about books or about a hobby, for example, roller skating or hiking. At the same time, you should never mention situations with ex-boyfriends. For example: “I like to ride a bike in the evenings” - is correct, and “my ex and I used to ride bikes in the evenings” - is a big mistake. But you need to talk about your hobbies without any particular fanaticism - you don’t yet know whether it will captivate your interlocutor. As a rule, girls with a sense of humor and a bit of self-irony are more interesting to young men. A good sense of humor will always find its admirer, and if you tell a funny story from your life, you will only benefit from the informality of the conversation that you create yourself. You can talk in general terms about what you are especially proud of, about successes and achievements, but without pathos. And do not drag the guy by the hand to your home to show your diplomas and convince him that you received first place in making Christmas trees from balls! Rest assured that the concepts of "girl", "home", "show" and "the best" will not come together in the mind of your interlocutor to form the picture of "show the diploma". Believe me, he will evaluate your invitation in his own way! No matter what the conversation is about - do not complain! Complaints are appropriate only in a conversation with girlfriends who are interested in knowing where you got a new ring. You can talk to them about how you worked all your holidays/vacations/evenings (underline as appropriate) and denied yourself even a crust of bread to buy that very ring. Let them sympathize with you and let them feel ashamed of their envy, if any, arose at the first glance at the jewelry! But under no circumstances complain about difficulties and bad bosses/teachers to a guy you met for the first time. Firstly, men perceive complaints as a call to action, and secondly, since this is the first date, your guy may think that you agreed to meet only because you want to ask someone to puncture the tires of the neighbor's car, who ran over your cat, and besides him, there were no other candidates for the role of avenger. It is better to talk about his hobbies and interests. Show him your interest in his stories, and do not hesitate to laugh when he tells something funny. Perhaps if you and a man laugh at some funny situation from his life, then this laughter will bring you closer than a regular conversation. Remember that seventy percent of the success of your first date depends on how well you can listen, and especially - hear your interlocutor!

Rules for a successful first date

To make this test easier, there are a few simple rules. So:

• Be a good interlocutor

It's not as difficult as it might seem.Think about the word itself - "interlocutor". It is assumed that a person knows how to "co-conversate", that is, he can talk, keeping up a conversation, but he can also give the other person an opportunity to tell something. Let the guy "lead" you in a conversation, as in a dance, and you will be surprised how pleasant the evening can be. During the conversation, behave naturally. If you very falsely pretend to be extremely interested when you are told about quantum physics, then this will be very noticeable. After all, in fact, you will not understand what they are talking about. If you do not understand any of the "high matters" that the guy started talking about, find a moment and tell him about it. It is better to sincerely admit that the subject of the conversation is of little understanding to you than to later shudder and remember that you barely held back a yawn when the guy was throwing out unfamiliar terms for an hour.

• Punctuality - courtesy of kings

Don't be late!Perhaps you think that only crowned heads are obliged to be polite, and everyone else can relax. If so, then we have to tell you that you are wrong. Show basic politeness both to yourself and to the guy. By arriving on time, you will remove one of the reasons for tension on the first date. Arrive at the appointed time! Well, perhaps you, as a girl, are allowed to be a little late. But no more than five minutes! And only if you are sure that you are not a princess.

• Get ready for a date

The very fact that you are reading this article proves thatthat you are preparing for your first meeting with a guy. And you are doing the right thing! Prepare topics for conversation, remember pleasant little things that you can tell about. Choose beautiful and comfortable shoes and clothes for the date. Six-inch stilettos that you appear in on the first date will, of course, make an indelible impression on the guy; but for you, they will create a truly “unforgettable evening”. Not to mention that your legs will get tired; but instead of listening to what a man is saying while walking with you, you will be able to think only about maintaining your balance. You don’t want to look like a heron on stilts on your first date, do you?

• Stay yourself

Don't tell lies and don't tryintroduce yourself as a cleaning lady if you have two higher educations. And don't call yourself the heiress of an oil rig owner if you are a primary school music teacher. The deception will be revealed, and you will feel awkward. And the guy may simply think that you do not take him seriously, and will look for another interlocutor.

• Do not tell me too much

That you lisped until third grade or thatlike tomatoes with cream, may seem funny. But not on the first date. Imagine that THIS is told to you. Would you want a second meeting with such an unceremonious and strange character? Exactly.

• Be a person

A person can be considered a personality who hashis own opinion and knows how to express it. Tell the guy honestly what you like and what you don't. Just try not to sound rude. But you shouldn't follow anyone's lead either. Agree that a person who agrees with everyone else or can't show his attitude to something that happens before his eyes or that he hears about cannot seem interesting.

• Be polite

No one doubts your upbringing, butnevertheless, you should always strictly follow this rule. A simple "thank you" for helping you put on your outerwear, for opening a door for you, for bringing a glass; there are so many things you can thank for! The guy will be pleased to see his actions appreciated, and you will get double the pleasure from the very fact that you were able to appreciate his efforts.

• The pleasure of dating should be mutual

Enjoy yourself. And give pleasure. Only in this way will you be able to say goodbye at the end of the evening, feeling a mutual desire to meet again and continue a pleasant acquaintance with the guy.

• Live this day

Learn to enjoy the little things.Forget about grievances and unpleasant situations! Today you have a great reason to be in a good mood - you are dating a wonderful man, everything will be great on your first date. Do not let the past - neither past problems, nor ex-men - interfere with your feeling of happiness and fullness of life. Do not sit sadly and look gloomy if you agreed to a meeting, even if something bothers you. If you are not in the mood, then it is better to postpone the date for another day. The first impression remains for a long time, and you should not spoil it intentionally. As you can see, there is nothing complicated in the rules of a successful first date. Follow them, and everything will work out for you as well as possible!

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