What mother doesn't dream of having a child growing up?obedient, independent, generous, hardworking and smart child? However, even with such golden kids there are problems and difficulties. How to avoid possible difficulties with "easy" children?

Not a step to the side

There are children who don't need to be told twice,who obey at the drop of a hat and do not cause their parents much trouble. They will not jump on the couch or try to measure the depth of a puddle. Such children will not risk doing something that their parents have forbidden. To tell the truth, it is easier for them to do nothing at all. It is very easy with such children. Their behavior is always under control. A very obedient child in the family can be a source of pride. After all, most people around admire him. But there are also those who think about what kind of person this child will grow up to be. Will he have problems in adulthood? Will he be able to stand up for himself and say “no” when necessary? Will this behavior lead to another extreme? Will he not taste life in all its negative manifestations? A very obedient child trusts his parents immensely. He does not think about what his actions may lead to, he only does what he is allowed to do and does not bear any responsibility. Such a child does not have his own opinion, because everyone decides for him. He is inclined to listen to any request or demand. As a result, with age, he begins to develop the so-called "false self". The child believes that he wants exactly what others want. So what to do? Do not accustom the baby to unquestioning obedience, he must learn to make decisions, because no one will give ready-made recipes in adult life. Try to give the baby the opportunity to make a choice, express his opinion. Allow the child to explore the world, do not impose many prohibitions. Complete obedience can be dangerous and accumulate negative emotions. The baby does not know how or is afraid to express them and keeps everything inside. Show how to overcome anger, rage: draw a scary picture, crumple paper. Some children of this type are shy - this is due to low self-esteem, self-doubt. Show the baby his uniqueness, which will bring him success in life. Let him understand that he is loved regardless of his obedience or disobedience. If something happens to you - If something in your child's behavior has alerted you, try to correct the situation in time. And if nothing is bothering you, don't look for difficulties where there are none. Just be a little more careful and a little more attentive. You can't do without this in raising any child. And noisy, pugnacious, capricious, lazy, harmful children - this is a special topic of conversation. They have their own problems - but different ones.

A small workaholic

Such a tiny thing is a real find forparents. He is ready to do all the chores available to him. The kid, seeing dust on the TV, grabs a rag, then sweeps the floor, and after dinner, washes the dishes. He cleans up his toys and those of his older sister. And at the dacha? At the dacha, he is ready to water the beds, runs to pick berries. You can rely on him in everything. So what is the problem? Family members very quickly begin to take advantage of this desire to work. Gradually, the kid begins to serve everyone. Bring this, give that! And his peers understand that he will not refuse. He collects toys after playing together - he. Making the beds - he again. In kindergarten, the teachers also ask the little workaholic to take the dishes, and setting out chairs for classes is his constant responsibility. A child of his age and much older can be irresponsible and not do all the chores assigned to him. Even adults do not always force themselves to do everything that should be done. So what to do? Do not demand too much from the child. For now, for the baby, housework is a big game. Of course, it is interesting to splash cups in the sink, help mom wipe the dust, try out how the vacuum cleaner works or unpack the groceries. And children, who are thrifty by nature, especially like this. However, a game is a game, and a routine is a routine. Do not impose too much work on the child, do not make Cinderella out of him, accustoming him to unpleasant or hard work - cleaning shoes for all family members, taking out the trash, washing the floors. The baby will habitually fulfill all the requirements. After all, he believes that this wins your love and affection. But, working for the good of the family, the baby gradually closes the door to the world of childhood, the world of games and entertainment. Do not miss the moment when work ceases to bring joy and becomes a burden.

All by myself!

And this baby is almost like an adult.He will not wait to be put to bed and read a book, he will make the bed as best he can and fall asleep on his own without any problems. He does not need to wake you up in the morning if he gets up early: he will brush his teeth and wash himself, get dressed and go play on his own. He can wipe his younger brother's nose at his - that is, three and a half! A very independent child does not really share his experiences, does not tell how his day went in the garden. The child received such independence either by force (the parents simply do not have enough time to look after the baby), or he was specially taught to cope with difficulties on his own. The parents of such a child have no problems now - he does not require either time or energy, does not distract from his own hobbies and activities. There will be no problems when the baby grows up. He will achieve everything in life on his own. However, the child may have difficulties. He is used to solving everything on his own and not using anyone's help. This little person will not turn to his parents, even if the situation is difficult and he cannot cope with it. He may have serious difficulties (anything can happen in life), and no one will know about it. Without delving into and not participating in the child's life from an early age, do not expect that you will be able to establish a trusting, close relationship with him. And if you still need it, do not waste time. So what to do? Take an interest in the joys, successes and problems of your baby. Help him, participate in his life, guide him. After all, it is much easier to learn from other people's mistakes than from your own. In addition, the child needs boundaries. He must know what he definitely cannot do, what is acceptable, and which of his actions are green. Without your participation, the child himself will feel insecure and lonely. "If mom cares, forbids something - then, even scolds - it means she loves. "And if mom gives me complete independence, how will I know that I am dear to her?" - the baby subconsciously decides. Limit independence by age, dose it and let your chick out of the nest very carefully.

This is for you. And this…

In the third year of life, the child becomes acquainted withthe concept of "mine" begins to realize that there are objects that belong specifically to him, and considers them to be part of his own "I". Attempts by other children to take the baby's toy are perceived by him as an encroachment on himself. It is necessary to preserve his integrity. Hence the violent protest. Children of this age do not want to share. And this is normal and natural. However, there is no such understanding in relation to other people's things. The baby cannot yet understand that other children's things are their property. So he tries to take possession of other people's cars or dolls, carefully protecting his own. The child must learn to manage his own things, without pressure and threats. At this age, you need to master the ability to refuse. Greed is a consequence of the child's development, which cannot be said about generosity. Generous children evoke affection in others and pride in their parents. It is pleasant to say that my child knows how to share, that he is not at all greedy, unlike yours! However, this pride quickly gives way to disappointment. The kid gives away everything in a row - sweets, toys, expensive gifts. Unheard-of generosity can be caused by the child's feeling of loneliness, jealousy of a newborn in the family or problems in the parents' relationship, divorce, for example. The kid needs to feel a spiritual uplift, and he tries to earn praise. Affection, communication with the child, time spent together, are the best medicine for excessive generosity. The child can give gifts to friends only because he wants to be friends with them, and does not see any other way. So what to do? You need to explain to the kid that friendship is based on other concepts. That friends are valued for kindness, the ability to play happily, to provide support, etc. It is worth not only telling the child about friendship without gifts, but also playing out the situation on toys ("We were friends with Mishka only for his gifts, and when the gifts ran out..."). Let the child see what kind of situation he can get into and be sure to find a way out with you (Teddy Bear will learn to be friends by playing with other animals, inventing interesting activities). And do not give your little one toys, do not spoil him with a lot of sweets. Maybe he just does not need them anymore, and therefore, not knowing the value of your gifts, he so easily parts with them. We advise you to read:

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