Our life is arranged strangely.One lady is going through her admirers, wondering which of them is worth marrying again. Another, seemingly no less attractive, has her pillow wet from the tears shed on cold, lonely nights. And she curses this world, and loses her last hope for happiness, convinced that there are no more men. Why is this happening? Why does sometimes even a not very beautiful woman attract a whole host of admirers, while some spectacular lady suffers for years from their absence? Free, attractive, seemingly self-confident representatives of the fair half of humanity cannot get married! Isn't this nonsense? Perhaps normal, brave and strong men really have disappeared? And a woman worthy of them is at a loss as to where to find a good husband and how to finally get married? No. They have not disappeared. There are enough real men in our society. And the essence of the problem is not in them at all, but in us, self-sufficient, but such lonely women.

Why are women lonely?

"There are no real men" is a phrase that has becomequite common nowadays. Many young successful beauties unanimously say: “It is impossible to get married successfully! There are no men!” At the same time, both at work and in their free time, there are many quite attractive, respectable and promising representatives of the stronger sex around them, who are not bound by family ties. And for some reason, our ladies stubbornly refuse to notice them. Are they blind? Probably, yes. This is nothing more than psychological blindness, the appearance of which is due to the denial of the fact of the existence of such men. And it is precisely this that is the reason for the subconscious refusal to act. The psychology of a single woman initially rejects reunification with someone. And even if there was a handsome prince in front of her, persistently prancing on a white horse, she would not see him. A worthy young man in her eyes will turn into a greedy gigolo or an experienced womanizer, spoiled by a huge number of victories over the fairer sex. There is an opinion that in this world there are at least five people with whom each of us can build a successful family relationship. And if the heart is completely open to love, there are many more such people. If there is a huge barn lock on it and the shutters are tightly closed, happiness will most likely go looking for a more hospitable home. And we will continue to cherish our loneliness, tormented by the question of how to successfully get married. The one who was destined for us by fate itself will go to a neighbor who is not special in any way. Except for one thing - the willingness to love. And this is already a lot, you must agree. No, of course, there are women who are not at all afraid of such a prospect. But there are not so many of them. In most cases, we all want to have a cozy home, children and our other half, who happily greets us after a hard day at work. And we get, at best, only a cat exhausted by a long wait, screaming shrilly in an empty apartment. As you can see, the answer to the question of why beautiful women remain without men is simple - they cultivate their own loneliness. And that's all. How can you eradicate this inner emptiness, alienation and disbelief in your own happiness?

The first step to happiness. Why do we want to get married?

First, remember this fundamental truth:real men were, are and will be. And even if today their attributes are not a white horse, and not even a white Mercedes, they exist. If you have not yet come across such a model, it is quite possible that it is not yet time. Or maybe that same ideal man has already stood in your way, but you missed him or scared him off with something. With what? Well, at least with an overly obvious desire to get married. After all, let's be honest, many of us strive to start a family, based on the considerations that "a single woman is indecent." And they are not looking for a specific person, but simply a representative of the stronger sex who will agree to go to the registry office. This fact is usually too obvious, therefore it repels from a woman even a man who dreams of his own family. After all, he wants to become the only one, and not just a tool that comes to hand for the implementation of goals! Therefore, first of all, let's ask ourselves why we want to get married. To have children? Or to get the status of a wife? Or, perhaps, to feel loved? It would seem that all these goals are quite justified. And none of them is a good enough reason to get married. Because you can only create a happy family with someone you are truly interested in. Another big mistake that a significant number of women make is the desire to get married only to get rid of inner emptiness and a feeling of being orphaned. Why are representatives of the beautiful half of humanity often lonely? Because emptiness and orphanhood are a state of mind. It cannot be changed by any external factors. In order to build family happiness, you first need to work on yourself and fill your soul with the expectation of joy. A woman who radiates happiness attracts everyone. And marriage is not a problem for her. But an eternally sad, dissatisfied with the whole world, even a very beautiful sufferer can be interesting only to sex-hungry philanderers. Therefore, learn to enjoy every little thing, and you will attract great luck to yourself. Start by revising your past and try to accept it without condemnation. Each of you has something you don't want to remember. But in life, any experience is needed, both positive and negative! Only under such conditions does a person develop. Therefore, let go of your past, forgive yourself, and with a light heart boldly move towards the future.

Factors interfering with a successful marriage

A successful start to married life is made byfeelings. Therefore, you should only marry for mutual love. Simple sympathy and passionate sex are not enough to create a solid foundation for a happy marriage - you need to feel something much deeper in relation to your chosen one and be sure of his reciprocal feelings. After all, very often women who dream of quickly acquiring the coveted status of married ladies make very common mistakes that do not promise a successful marriage. So, what factors prevent you from finding true family happiness?

Fear of remaining an "old maid" In this casewe are talking about women who have crossed the age of twenty-five without the much-desired stamp in their passport. They are the ones who most often take very painfully the comments of relatives and friends that it is high time to get married, and try to arrange their life with the first man they come across. This path is obviously hopeless, because the disappointment that comes later turns into divorce and a feeling of inferiority. Therefore, do not hesitate to give very vague answers to impertinent questions about when you will finally part with the status of an unmarried woman, for example: "As soon as I meet a man worthy of being my partner!"

The desire to quickly play a magnificent wedding with whitedress and veil Your friends got married, and you are desperately jealous of the holiday that started their family life? But is it really about the celebration with its indispensable attributes? It is important to meet that one and only man who can make you happy. Therefore, do not rush to write down every representative of the stronger sex who has shown interest in you as a groom and think about which wedding suit will be most suitable for him. Try to assess how comfortable you are in the company of this person, whether he attracts you as a man and a person, whether you would like children from him, and so on. It is the positive answers to such important questions that will form a clear picture, thanks to which you will understand whether your relationship has prospects or it is worth waiting for someone else.

Parents' constant conversations about grandchildrenStop! This is definitely not a reason to get married as soon as possible. Even if you have a stable relationship with your loved one, but for a number of reasons he has not yet offered to legitimize it, the desire of your parents to become grandparents should not push you to force things. It is very important that the man makes the decision to marry himself, without pressure and pressure from the woman. Dear ladies, never forget that it is you who needs to be won over, and not the other way around. And even in our time, when the boundaries between the sexes have been leveled and the roles have changed places, it is better for a woman to take a passive position in the matter of proposing marriage. After all, excessive persistence on her part can confuse and even push away the chosen one. Why does he need something that comes into his hands by itself, and is even imposed on him?

Pregnancy as a reason for marriage If the couple alreadya semblance of marital relations has existed for a long time, the news of imminent fatherhood usually becomes a reason to go to the registry office. But it also happens that a guy and a girl date for some time, their relationship moves into the area of ​​sex and as a result, there are two stripes on the test, indicating an unplanned pregnancy. It's good if the young man shows consciousness and offers to marry you. But more often the opposite happens, and the couple breaks up. A girl who is trying to get married at all costs tries to reason with the future daddy in every possible way, often turns to her parents for help, but even if the marriage is registered, it is very, very rarely successful. Most often, newlyweds separate soon after the baby is born. Therefore, an unplanned pregnancy cannot be called a guarantee of a successful marriage.

Finding a tight wallet If your understandingsuccessful marriage comes down solely to finding a wealthy candidate for a husband, then it is not surprising why you still have not met your one and only man. After all, a woman who is ready to marry for money is seen from afar by representatives of the stronger sex and they try to avoid her. Who wants to be seen only as a wallet with crisp banknotes or a walking credit card?

And can a marriage be called successful?in which the sensual side of the relationship is replaced by the financial one? Even if you marry a rich man, such a union may turn out to be that very "golden cage". Are you ready to depend on your husband for the rest of your life? And what if he meets someone younger and more beautiful? Therefore, do not be guided only by mercantile considerations, but rather listen to your heart. This is what the next section will discuss.

Happiness loves independence

Many lonely beauties are convinced that a man— это некий объект, существующий в мире, чтобы удовлетворять все их потребности. Каждая из таких дам думает об одном — как удачно выйти замуж за богатого человека, который будет о ней заботиться. И, конечно же, перед любым подходящим претендентом в женихи она сразу ставит ребром вопрос: «А что ты можешь для меня сделать?» Вполне понятно, что «подходящий претендент» сразу ретируется. Потому что он — человек, который хочет, чтобы к нему относились, как к личности, а не как к способу исполнения желаний. Ведь современные мужчины и так постоянно подвергаются стрессам. И в семье они хотят их снимать, а не добавлять себе побольше проблем. Нет, какую-то помощь кандидат в мужья, конечно же, оказать может. Но делать он этого вовсе не обязан. Впрочем, и мы с вами, дорогие дамы, тоже своим мужчинам ничего не должны. Есть среди нас такая категория женщин-мамочек, хлопочущих над своими избранниками так же, как наседка над цыплятами. Они обволакивают мужчину заботой, стремясь облегчить каждый его шаг. Тот же, если он — сильная личность, не выдерживая столь навязчивого внимания и постоянного нарушения границ личной зоны, в итоге, сбегает. Остаются с «мамочками» лишь инертные и инфантильные бездельники, беззастенчиво пользующиеся их любвеобильностью безо всякой отдачи. Настоящий мужчина в глубине души всегда остаётся охотником, которому время от времени необходим драйв преследования. И тогда с женщиной, за которой нет нужды гоняться хотя бы периодически, ему становится скучно. А вот независимая самодостаточная особа для мужчины-охотника — желанная добыча, потому что она заставляет испытать истинный азарт. Он может не задумываться над тем, как создать хорошую семью именно с ней, но и не представляет без такой женщины своей жизни. А это, при наличии взаимного интереса, очень хорошая почва для прочного брака. Конечно же, чтобы выбирать мужа, нужно иметь для этого возможность. Поэтому прежде следует научиться либо дружить с мужчинами, либо воевать с ними. А можно то и другое вместе, ведь такое взаимодействие позволит лучше узнать сильный пол и снимет внутреннее напряжение при общении с его представителями. Но любая война ни в коем случае не должна приобретать масштабы межгалактического сражения — так недолго стать и мужененавистницей. Лучше придать ей форму спортивной борьбы, в которой соперники не только уважают друг друга, но даже готовы с удовольствием сдаться на милость победителя. С условием вероятности реванша. Вне всякого сомнения, советы эти не могут гарантировать полного успеха в личной жизни. Психологию одинокой женщины не определить однозначно, поскольку она не подвержена схематичности. Впрочем, есть некоторые уловки, которые, как утверждали ещё наши бабушки, работают практически безотказно. Мужчин, говорили они, следует научиться слушать внимательно, с улыбкой, ни в коем случае не перебивая. Над шутками избранника обязательно нужно смеяться, даже если у этой шутки давно выросла борода. Не получается? Призовём на помощь весь свой артистизм. Ведь нам так хочется выглядеть в его глазах остроумной! Опытные дамы, удачно вышедшие замуж, не рекомендуют рассказывать потенциальному кандидату в мужья о себе всё, многозначительно обходя молчанием некоторые страницы собственной биографии. Умеренная таинственность и недосказанность — лучшее украшение женщины. Иногда из поля зрения избранника нужно исчезать на пару дней, давая понять, что свет отнюдь ещё не сошёлся на нём клином. Это подольёт масла в пока только разгорающийся огонь его души. Для пущего эффекта можно иной раз вскользь упомянуть о комплиментах, которые вам делают на работе или на улице. Ведь для любого представителя сильного пола нет большего удовольствия, чем возможность обладать тем, что нравится всем. Хорошие мужчины живут с нами рядом, а не в какой-то придуманной сказочной стране. Для того чтобы их заметить, нужно изменить свой взгляд на окружающий мир и понять, что жизнь многообразна. И тогда она станет красочной и наполнится музыкой радости. И мелодию эту обязательно услышит тот, кого мы ищем. И непременно придёт, ведь он тоже ищет счастья рядом с любимой. Главное — узнать его и не пройти мимо. Советуем почитать:

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