The results of an online survey of the socialdesigning "Platform" disagree with the opinion that dangerous public have unlimited power over teenagers. 74% of the population of our country believes that the main cause is problems in the family, and the introduction of restrictions on the Internet for children will not give the desired result. Is this so, Woman's Day asked the psychologist Elena Shamova. "I share this view," Elena says. - If a child has a warm relationship with parents, siblings, no "whales" and "sharks" are not afraid of him. The child values ​​life, cherishes it, he has what (the joy of being) and whom (loved ones) lose. Indeed, in order for a person to commit suicide, there must be some events in real life. Therefore, the task of parents is to be attentive, to try to notice negative changes in the behavior and mood of children. Because when the depression has a protracted character, the child ceases to see the way out of the situation, and he does not trust his mother and father, then a decision may come about the withdrawal from life.A photo: Getty Images Adolescents prone to depression are easily identified from the general mass. They are usually not very talkative, they slouch, as if locking themselves in, often in a depressed mood, as if something is deprived or someone is offended, cynical, with depressive notes in their voice, like gloomy colors and such gloomy jokes. Bright hysterics among them are rare. They can be rogue companies, constantly being bullied, or simply not finding their role in the classroom. Sometimes a child attracts attention to poor schooling, absenteeism - so he broadcasts something that he can not say. And here it is important to assess the depth of the problem, to find the roots of what is happening.

SOS, teenagers!

Special attention -.Hormones, emotional instability, first falling in love and are able to grow an elephant from a fly. Because of this, tensions arise with parents, who may not always realize the unexpected "adulthood" and independence of their 14-year-old "baby". On the one hand, it is necessary to give freedom to a teenager, taking into account his new interests, and on the other, to understand that if there is too much of it, he begins to suffer, feeling abandoned. Try to find a middle ground.

You are my friend and I am your friend

How to build a trusting relationship with your son ordaughter? Only through the habit of communicating normally. It is difficult, but possible. Often, parents come to adolescence with their own bouquet of problems. Dad is experiencing a midlife crisis, mom is experiencing menopause, plus the tense situation in the country, the exchange rate of the ruble ... In a word, the neurosis of a metropolis. Chronically tired, disgruntled parents work around the clock. The relationship with the child comes down to the formal "How are you at school?", "Did your homework?", "How long do you sit on the Internet?" The question makes the child make excuses, and this does not add warmth to the relationship. In some families it is customary to keep secrets before going to bed, in others - to go out to cafes on weekends ... Start your own communication rituals! Interest in the child's life should be sincere, an indifferent look will not force you to open your soul. And forget, at least for a while, about your controlling function. Choose neutral topics for discussion, and if the child wants to open up, he will do it without pressure. Remember, it is important to get involved in his life - to find out what kind of music he listens to, what he reads, with whom he is friends. But do not smother with love and attention, just be near, as with a friend, without violating or destroying personal boundaries.Photo: Getty Images

The Second Self

Generate the child a role that will beraise his authority, increase value in the family. For example, participation in the weekly discussion of the family budget ("You are already an adult, without your opinion we can not do") or leadership of some important process. At the same time, not shifting the functions of a parent to him, for example, to care for a younger brother or sister. It can crush, and we need to solve another problem - to form an inner adult, that part of the personality that is responsible for actions and their consequences. Underline adult personality traits: independence, strength, endurance in a boy, cleanliness, ability to cook from a girl. Thank for the initiative and willingness to help. If the child does not want to move into the category of adults - kinks, jokes, behaves irresponsibly - show him the pros of adult life. Tell us about the rights that he now has. For example, you can later go to bed, go to the cinema yourself, etc. Modern children, because of the heavy loads and endless demands in school and circles, get tired. If there was a breakdown, the light disappeared at the end of the tunnel, create an intermediate goal. And motivate for achievements! Then it will be easier for a child to run this marathon

Confused in the networks

Children on the Internet are lost for good, they are therethey find something for themselves. For some, this is entertainment ("boring life"), for others, a vital way to relax after school negativity, for the third - escape from reality (the effect of authentification - see nothing, hear nothing, do not want to know anything). The latter is especially true for families where scandals and contact are regularly occurring. And for the fourth, this is a space where you can try on another role, feel yourself as the main thing in a virtual "war". Dive with the child in the game, then you just better understand it. "Really cool! - Tell me. - Do not want to experience the same emotions in the laser tag? »Offer the child something that will interest him.

Calm, only calm!

Any dialogues build in a calm tone, notinsulting the child. If the passions get heated and you get naughty, then the child has written off this situation from you, do not blame me. And do not take in head to take offense, do not create in the child a complex of guilt. He will think about what infinitely does not justify your expectations, thereby devaluing yourself as an individuality ("Bring me again, I will be different"). As they say, do not bring up the upbringing, the child will still grow like you.

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