It's as if modern society has placed a taboo onthe topic of death. Nowadays it is considered almost indecent to talk about death, and people don’t really want to think about it. This is the result of the fact that today we are all literally obsessed with the idea of ​​preserving youth. Of course, we know that we will all die, but we have yet to learn to accept this reality calmly and naturally. What happens to most of us? We try not to notice anything related to death, but deep down in our consciousness there is a fear of this mysterious and incomprehensible phenomenon. The fear of death does not allow us to realize its reality, to understand its meaning. Not knowing what to expect, we create fantasies associated with the coming dying, and they frighten us, because these fantasies seem quite real to us. As living beings, we cannot help but admit that death is inevitable, and we are faced with the need to accept the real reality. To understand how to get rid of the fear of death, it is necessary to understand what, in fact, scares us.

What are people afraid of when thinking about death?

Fear of death (thanatophobia, from the Greek"Thanatos", which means "death", and "phobia" - "fear") includes several specific problems that accompany the dying process in reality. That is, from the "monolith" of the general fear of death, one can isolate the fear of something specific. People, thinking about their death, are afraid of:

• Non-existence;
• Uncertainties (when, how will this happen, and what will happen to me afterwards?);
• Lose control over the situation;
• To experience a serious illness, pain and suffering;
• Lose dignity, independence and independence;
• To leave relatives.

Looking at this list, it is easy to understand thatMost of us think we are afraid of death, when in fact our greatest fear is the dying process. When asked how they would prefer to die – suddenly or from illness – eighty percent of people say they would prefer to die from a sudden death. However, the reality is that ninety percent of us will die from illness, and only ten percent of people will die quickly and suddenly. Given these facts, we need to make a “truce” with dying by stopping our fear of death and starting to perceive it differently. Instead of wasting our precious time and energy on depressing and frightening thoughts about our future demise and possible non-existence, the alternative is to develop a healthy respect for death. By doing this, we will not only be able to accept the end of our lives with dignity, but we will also take control of how we live our lives now.

What can I do to help myself?

Overcoming the fear of death is possible, and here's what you need to do to stop dark thoughts from affecting the quality of your life:

• Talk to someone about your fears to youit will be much easier if you talk with a person who can completely trust, and tell him about their emotions. Try to understand together why you feel uncomfortable, and look for a way to change the situation. Together, it will be easier to do, because you will find a fresh solution from the outside. It's not for nothing that the proverb says that one head is good, and two heads are better! If the fears are so strong that they threaten to get out (or have already emerged) out of your control, we recommend that you seek help from specialists.
• Understand your convictions and lifevalues ​​All our deepest convictions are the basis of how we live and how we will live on. And if there are any contradictions between what we are doing and how we feel that this should have been done, then we are experiencing mental torments. We may not even realize that we are acting in defiance of our deep convictions, but at the subconscious level, a feeling of discontent with ourselves and with our lives begins to form. Think about what your answer would be to the question of the meaning and purpose of human life, and assess whether your life, your deeds and actions are really a reflection of your beliefs.
• Do not worry before the time. Death is not something,what you need to worry about; it is rather something that you may need to learn to accept as part of life, as its natural extension. There is a verse in the Bible that says there are enough worries in our lives today, so we should not worry about what will happen tomorrow. And we often think not so much about what will happen tomorrow, but about the days hidden from us by the misty haze of time; But we forget about the affairs of today, plunging into gloomy thoughts. Courageous people do not think about death, even contracting severe or incurable diseases. They primarily think about their chances of life, even if they are negligible. And such people survive more often than having much easier diagnoses, but pessimistic patients who thought only that they would die. So is it worth it to torture yourself with fears of death when you are still full of life?
• Change the scale of life values ​​Remember thatall earthly goods, including your body, will be left behind when you die. Therefore, pay more attention to those things in your life that are not in the material plane. Think about how you spend your time and spend your energy. These are your precious and limited resources. Invest them wisely. Develop in yourself patience, compassion, kindness and love towards yourself and people.
• Live life to the full Do not waste your precioustime to worry about death. Instead, fill your life with joy and do not let small troubles cause you to experience bitterness. Often go on nature, communicate with friends, take up some new hobby. Expand in yourself more and more new talents, try to realize all your possibilities. Just do whatever you like and benefit you and others, and this will make you forget about death. As Mark Twain put it, "the fear of death results from fear of life. A person who lives a full life, at any time will be ready to die with dignity. "
• Be optimistic Optimism will prolong your life,thereby pushing away death. Studies have shown that people who are optimistic about the world are less likely to suffer from cardiac diseases, from which the overwhelming majority of people on the planet die today. So do not worry, and you will live longer!
• — Accept death as a naturalthe continuation of life Understand that this is a cycle: people are born, they live, they die, other people are born. And they live and die too. Each of us has our place in this cycle, and someday we will have to pass away to make room for new generations, just as others passed away to make room for us. See the passage of time as an opportunity to do something useful with your life, to accumulate a baggage of good deeds that will become your mark on this earth and that you will leave as a legacy for those you will eventually leave behind. This will maximize your chances of a peaceful and dignified death and a long, good memory.
• Do not think about the fact that you will sink into oblivion afterdeath Our dear people who have left us will always live in our hearts and memories. Therefore, one should not think about death, but about life, in order to learn how to give your loved ones warmth and love.
• You can console yourself with the hope that death isit is not a complete disappearance After all, no one knows what is really happening. No one alive has been able to look behind the curtain of this most important mystery, so no one can say with complete certainty either that there is something "out there" or that there is nothing at all. Materialistic views on life and death, which claim that physical reality is the only possible reality, are just another belief system, nothing more. No one knows what happens when a person dies; the embrace of mystery is too strong. We can only guess. So why assume the worst?
• Do not be afraid of pain It also happens that we are experiencingnot about their possible suffering during dying, but we can not accept the fact that the deceased loved one suffered. Or we are afraid that he will die and will experience pain before that. Situations can be different, they are united by one: very often we equate death and pain. But death is not necessarily pain. Although physical pain plays a big role throughout our life (actually, pain is needed to keep our lives safe from danger), but after death, neither you nor your loved ones will experience pain. Even if a person left whose illness was accompanied by painful pains - try to console yourself by the fact that now he is saved from his sufferings.
• To finally get rid of fear,try to imagine that after death you will end up where you will be happy. Virtually all religions of the world claim that it is so. Who knows, maybe they are right? There is no evidence for either "for" or "against"!

What else to remember

Talking about rationality or irrationalityfear of death can go on for a long time, as well as talking about how to help yourself switch to a more joyful perception of life. We would like to convey to you a few more important thoughts about your fears:

• Fear of death can be a sign of depression Ifyou began to pursue heavy thoughts, try to change your way: slightly lower the pace of life, if possible, give up excessive loads, rest more, go out into the open air, go in for sports.
• If the phobia becomes obtrusive and suppresses yourwill, interfering with living a normal life, be sure to seek help from a specialist. If you doubt the advisability of consulting a doctor, talk with someone close to your feelings. They will help you determine how serious the changes that have occurred to you.
• No matter how far your phobia went, trydevelop a strong conviction in your mind that you are able to overcome your fear. Take for yourself the rule every day to imagine something good that can happen when you live most of your life and live to the point where death is really close. Something that can warm your soul with warmth: affectionate grandchildren, whom you taught to knit and bake pies, loving children that you were always ready to support, and now they are so touchingly caring about you ...
• Concentrate your attention on the fact that you are alreadymade, while living and were happy, and not on what you can not do after death. When we die, we are unlikely to miss anything or anything.
• Continue to remind yourself that the fear of death is sometimes worse than death itself; and who knows if your death will be so unpleasant, as you constantly try to imagine.
• Know that your fears one daywill pass, as everything passes on this earth. Over the years, people become wiser, and many of the causes of fears that haunted the past do not seem so obvious to them. So is it worth it to frighten yourself now, when old age is still far away?
• If fears still visit you, do not reproach yourself and do not blame anything. Know that you are not alone, and many people have passed or are going through what you now have to go through.

Once again, we strongly recommend that you contact usprofessional help if you feel that the fear of death is literally paralyzing you. There is nothing shameful about this, and early treatment increases your chances of quickly overcoming your phobia. We recommend reading:

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