How to get rid of anxiety and fear?

Many people turn to a psychologist with the question:How to get rid of anxiety, depression and irritability forever? It would be wrong if a psychologist said that such deliverance is possible, since anxiety is one of the basic feelings inherent in humans. It is a negatively colored emotion that arises in a situation of uncertainty as a reaction to the expectation of something negative. Anxiety differs from fear - as a rule, the reasons for the emergence of fear are understandable to a person, and the reasons for the emergence of anxiety are most often unconscious. And if the reasons are not clear, then getting rid of anxiety can be very difficult. Like other basic feelings (fear, pleasure, displeasure, anger), anxiety has its positive functions - it protects a person from potentially harmful behavior, helps him to be critical and selective about the surrounding reality, and also contributes to his socialization. It can intensify in an important situation for a person, as well as with a lack of time and information. In some cases, anxiety ceases to perform positive functions and begins to harm the individual. Usually, neurotic anxiety does not correspond to the importance of the situation and is not associated with a real threat. The reasons for the transition of normal anxiety to neurotic can be both internal (physiological or psychological) and external. Then the question arises: how to get rid of anxiety and fear? To answer this question, it is necessary to correctly understand the causes of anxiety. The famous psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud defines it as an unpleasant experience that signals a supposed danger. It is experienced as a feeling of uncertainty and helplessness, accompanied by appropriate bodily reactions, for example, increased heart rate. Freud believed that the main answer to the question of how to get rid of anxiety, depression and irritability is fighting or running away from it, as well as various methods of psychological defense. These include denial (“this is not happening to me”), rationalization (“this is necessary for a number of reasonable reasons”), projection (“since I think and feel this way, then others do too”), regression (childish behavior) and others. Well and evenly developed defense functions protect a person from excessive anxiety, but if there is an excess in one direction, it becomes a psychological problem.

Coping mechanisms as natural regulators of anxiety

But there are more personal formationshigh-order, helping a person to cope with anxiety. In psychology, they are called coping mechanisms (from the English “cope” - to protect). Coping or coping is a set of conscious actions (thoughts, feelings, behavior) that allow a person to cope with internal stress and discomfort using methods that correspond to the characteristics of the personality and the situation. Unlike psychological defenses, copings are conscious and more effective methods of dealing with anxiety - they adapt to the disturbing situation, do not distort the perception of reality, and their effect is prolonged. How to get rid of fear and anxiety with the help of copings? To do this, you need to be fully aware of the difficulties that have arisen, know the various ways of coping with a situation of this type and be able to apply them in practice in a timely manner. What types of coping mechanisms exist?

Problem-solving coping This ismay be focusing on resolving a difficult situation, systematically thinking about it, taking into account other points of view. Problem solving is also facilitated by hard work and a conscientious attitude, a positive outlook on the situation and maintaining a cheerful spirit. Active rest will be useful - a change of activity or playing sports.
Coping aimed at obtaining socialsupport Psychologists attribute this type to the desire to share your problem with others, to get approval. This is communication with old friends or making new ones. A person who chooses this type of coping has a desire to be close to someone and an interest in what others are doing. In the case of work problems, he seeks professional help, in the case of personal problems, he seeks spiritual support: reads relevant literature, communicates with a spiritual mentor.
Unconstructive coping Some psychologistsbelieve that worrying about the future, hoping for a miracle, refusing to act, retreating into illness, “letting off steam,” taking out failures on others, alcohol, the desire to distract oneself and rest using relaxation, withdrawal into oneself, and self-blame are ineffective. However, this can be argued, because for some, distraction from problems can be very effective, if not in relieving anxiety, then certainly in accumulating resources to combat it.

A few psychological recommendations

I would like to remind you that it is impossible to completely get rid ofIt is impossible to get rid of anxiety – a person needs it in a number of situations. However, if it starts to interfere with your life, psychologists give a number of specific tips on how to get rid of anxiety:

Choose the anxiety relief method that works for you.suits you For example, if you are worried about a child, talking to a friend who has children may be effective. However, for some people this is not an option, and it is more preferable to interact with the problem itself - for example, talking to the child or helping him.

External support reduces internal supporttension Have you ever noticed that when you do something alone, the responsibility increases, and therefore the anxiety? It follows that the feeling of togetherness can reduce tension, as well as approval from others or even praise. Therefore, in anxious situations, try to cooperate with someone, ask for help or advice, or simply seek support from friends.

Channel your energy into peaceful outlets Often anxiety is pent-up tension; channel it into peaceful outlets, such as creativity, hobbies, cleaning your home, or playing sports.

Try different options to calm yourself down.One option may be good in one situation and ineffective in another. Also, using only one anxiety-relieving method narrows your thinking, and the effectiveness of that option decreases.

Increase your self-esteem Psychologists have proven thatthat there is a connection between low self-esteem and high anxiety. An insecure person is constantly worried that he will not succeed because he is stupid, weak, ugly, etc. ... Increase your self-esteem with the help of auto-training (“I am the most charming and attractive”) and eliminating problem areas of your personality.

Break big problems into smaller ones Ourperception is structured in such a way that global problems are perceived as unsolvable and cause more anxiety than small ones. You can try taking a clean sheet of paper and dividing it into two columns: in one, write down what worries you, and in the other, the deadlines and methods for solving them.

Try to play out the worst case scenarioevents This way you can experience it in a safe way, and it will become part of your experience, which will lead to less uncertainty and less anxiety. And once you stop being afraid of the worst, you will stop worrying about everything else.

You don't always have to be afraid of your anxiety.Remember that it can be useful, because sometimes it is what motivates you to take action and solve a problem. But remember that if you allow your brain to constantly scroll through "what if", inventing all sorts of worst-case scenarios, then anxiety and worry will become your constant companion, moreover - your eternal and very serious problem. Incessant fears and worries can have a paralyzing effect on a person. They can take away emotional energy and interfere with your daily life. So start training your brain to always stay calm and look at life from a more positive point of view! We recommend reading: