Probably, not one question concerning pregnancyand childbirth, does not cause such heated debates as the question of her husband's presence during childbirth. It is unlikely that anyone in our time can be surprised by the story of partner births - they are available in almost any maternity hospital, especially in large cities. However, to say that partner births with her husband have become a universal rule, it would not be quite true. In fact, for joint childbirth with her husband, a negligible number of particularly courageous and fearless married couples is being solved. And the vast majority of future parents still do not risk to decide on such a step and prefer to walk for years the beaten path of our grandmothers and parents - a woman in the maternity ward, and the man destroys a third pack of cigarettes under the windows of this very delivery room. By the way, in the world practice partner births have been practiced for more than thirty years. In Russian women, such an opportunity to receive support during the birth of a husband appeared relatively recently - about ten years ago. That is why in Europe and other countries, no one from couples will ever think about whether they want to give birth together - they just give birth to their baby together and consider this the only possible version of the development of events. In our maternity home, the pope present at birth is a kind of curiosity, to look at which all the medical personnel come, not to mention those envious glances of pregnant women, who are caught by the future father, as soon as they leave the corridor of the department.
Why does a husband need a birth?
The first to stand up for the presence of his fatherthe child during delivery is the American doctors - gynecologists, in particular Robert Bradley. This doctor for a long time was engaged in a thorough study of the process of naturally occurring births that occur without the use of pharmacological drugs and any medical intervention in the natural course of events. And it was this obstetrician-gynecologist who first discovered the widely known fact that the maximally attentive attitude of a woman to her inner sensations, the right breathing and the maximum possible relaxation of all the muscles of the body in this situation allows to significantly increase the chance that during the birth there will be no unforeseen complications, for example, weakening of labor, crotch ruptures and bleeding. It goes without saying that during the delivery the woman is frightened, overwhelmed by intense pain. And in this state, very few women are able to maintain self-control and control over the situation. And at this very moment, the help of a beloved man will have to come in handy (of course, if he is not against presence near the woman in childbirth). A very important role is assigned to a man during childbirth. In most maternity hospitals, a large number of women give birth every day. And the medical staff who works in the maternity ward, with all his will, often do not have the opportunity not only to be around the woman giving birth, but even just often look to her. A sense of loneliness in this far from the best companion of a woman. And the presence of her husband in childbirth, who knows exactly what to do at one time or another, will have to come in handy. In order to reduce pain on the peaks of the fights, the husband can make his wife a special massage, which should be trained in advance. Also at the peak of contractions, most women lose control over the right breathing - the husband can help a woman breathe exactly as needed at the moment, and taking the most comfortable pose also helps. But the most important role in partner births is played by moral support. Who knows the wife better than her husband? Who can find the right words to support and give confidence in their abilities? In addition, in most cases, a woman in the process of giving birth is much more likely to take the words and directions of her husband, rather than doctors and midwives, however strange this fact seemed at first glance. Psychologists explain this phenomenon reactive state of the psyche of a woman during childbirth. Doctors can give more than one example, when due to participation in childbirth the husband managed to avoid various interventions in the natural process of childbirth.
Training courses for partner births
However, when deciding on joint births,weighing all the pros and cons, the couple should keep in mind that a man who is not properly prepared in advance will not only not be able to help his wife in any way, but will also interfere with the work of medical personnel. Believe me - despite the fact that childbirth is a natural process, for an unprepared person, they can be too much shock. And a daddy who is in a fainting state and requires assistance at a time when all attention should be concentrated only on a woman giving birth is not the best option for partner births. In order to avoid such a situation, a man must responsibly approach this issue and how to prepare for the forthcoming birth. And the training should be not only theoretical, but also moral. A man must clearly understand what he will have to face. Agree that to look at the sufferings of a loved one and have absolutely no way to stop them is not such a simple matter. It is in order to help a man cope with possible psychological problems, all arguments against such an event, and prepare for active help to his wife during childbirth, there are special courses for the preparation of births for future parents. Nowadays there is a fairly large number of such schools for couples expecting the birth of a child - in various medical centers, with antenatal clinics and maternity hospitals. In such schools, experienced doctors and psychologists will help future mothers and dads prepare for childbirth, learn to interact, understand each other without words, to together go through the path of the appearance of long-awaited crumbs into the world with the minimum possible losses. At the preparatory courses obstetricians - gynecologists will explain the pair waiting for the birth of the baby, which is the process of birth itself, for what periods the genera are divided, what are the features of the flow of each of them. They will explain to the future mother how to behave at this or that stage of labor, which at this time can be expected from medical personnel, what difficulties can lie in wait for a woman giving birth at each stage of labor, and how to behave properly in case of a complication of the normal course of the generic process. The future dad doctors will explain in great detail how the birth takes place, what the woman feels at the same time. And most importantly, what a man learns is what his husband does during childbirth, what exactly he can help his beloved woman and their baby when he comes into the world. This information is the most valuable. After all, if a man does not understand some subtleties of the very physiological process of childbirth, this will not be a great tragedy.
What documents are needed for joint delivery
Of course, no one should be convinced thatchildbirth is a complex process, during which the health of crumbs and their mothers is extremely vulnerable and vulnerable to various adverse effects, such as the penetration of various pathogens and viruses. And during childbirth it is extremely important that the woman's surroundings and the environment around her meet the requirements of sterility and epidemiology. That is why in any hospital that practices partner births, no man will be admitted to the maternity ward if he does not submit the necessary medical documents. Be sure to specify in advance what kind of references, tests and examinations are required in the hospital where your baby will be born, because these requirements may differ slightly in different maternity homes. Be prepared for what you will have to provide the staff of the maternity hospital:
- The result of a fluorography study of the lungs.
It is necessary to make sure that the man does not have tuberculosis and other infectious diseases of the lungs.
- The result of a blood test for the presence of antibodies to HIV and RW.
- The result of a blood test for a male viral hepatitis.
- The conclusion of the district therapist about the general state of health of a man is his lack of essential hypertension and ischemic heart disease.
- Help from a psychiatrist about the stability of the psyche and the absence of mental illness (extremely rare).
Myths about partner births
Despite the fact that in our time there is aa huge amount of very different information about partner births, they are still surrounded by a train of myths, misunderstandings and misconceptions. Many couples do not have a correct idea of the goals and consequences of joint births. Of course, it has partnering genera for and against, anywhere from this can not escape. Two main myths were especially widespread:
- Joint births strengthen the family.
Some women believe that partner birthscan improve the relationship with the father of the child, and sometimes save a cracking at all the seams of the marriage. They believe that a man, after looking at the suffering of a woman during childbirth, will change her attitude towards her and begin to appreciate her. However, experienced family psychologists claim the opposite. In such cases, guided by such motives, it is not necessary to go on joint births. In most cases, the stress transferred by a man during the birth of a wife does not strengthen the relationship, but only strengthens the existing disagreements. To strengthen relations can be expected only for those married couples in whom harmony and understanding reigns. And in the presence of psychological problems, no knowledge of how to prepare a husband for childbirth will not help solve the problem, but only set up a man against a woman.
- Joint birth with her husband leads to problems in sexual life.
In some cases, the initiator of refusal fromjoint delivery is just a woman. The future mother is afraid of panicking with her husband, because she is in the firm belief that her husband, seeing a woman far from the best light, will lose her sexual interest in the future. After all, what is shown in films about childbirth, does not always correspond to what is actually happening. Despite the fact that the birth of a man is a real miracle, from the point of view of aesthetics, the birth is not the most pleasant picture. And the woman is compelled to take the difficult for not the decision - "whether to take the husband for childbirth or to oppose such a venture?" Around this issue there are disputes and discussions not only among ordinary people, but also among medical specialists - psychologists and sex therapists. However, there is still no consensus. As a rule, it depends solely on the nature of each particular man. By the way, very many married couples come out of this situation as follows: in the process of fights a man is next to his wife, helps her as far as possible, and at the moment when the tightening period begins, leaves the maternity ward. Thus, most of the time a man is nearby, and at the most intimate moment he does not see a future mother. And accordingly, the problem disappears by itself - the woman will have the help of her husband at birth, and the belief that her husband will not see the most unseemly moments of childbirth. Such a measure will allow the young mother not to fear for her relationship with her husband after childbirth. But for the sake of justice it should be noted that even if problems in sexual life do appear, 99% of all cases are not caused by a feeling of disgust, as women mistakenly believe, but a sense of guilt. A man, seeing the sufferings of his beloved woman, and knowing that he is directly involved in what is happening, deeply at a subconscious level blames himself for what is happening. And it is this sense of guilt that leads to sexual disorders. If you are also touched by such a delicate problem, do not make the mistake - do not try to deal with it yourself. The human psyche is an extremely vulnerable and poorly studied object. Even experienced doctors - psychologists show extreme caution and delicacy, so as not to harm the person in any way. It is much more reasonable at the first signs of sexual problems to turn to a family psychologist or sex therapist, who will help get rid of them.
As already mentioned, in order to partnerthe birth was most effective and brought joy and satisfaction, and not a headache and additional problems, the decision to go through the birth together, hand in hand, should be taken at the mutual desire, without any coercion, with full awareness of the full responsibility of the decision, and , with which to face. However, unfortunately, such an ideal scenario is not always the case. Most modern men still still live with the notion that childbirth is an exclusive female prerogative, and the presence of a man with them is somewhat unnatural, going beyond the normal. And Papa's task is reduced to a phone call and subsequent notification of relatives. Like, our parents gave birth in the same way, and it's okay - everyone is alive and well. However, those men who do not mind giving birth together with their spouse, who nevertheless decided to take such a responsible step as partner births, for the most part do not regret such a step. Moreover, after the joint birth, they radically change their idea of childbirth, advising all friends to be by their wives at the time of their baby's birth. These men clearly understand that drunken cries under the windows of the maternity home are far from a sign of masculinity and true love for their woman and, most importantly, for their baby. As a rule, the greatest pride in men is the special trust placed in the young dad by doctors - cutting the umbilical cord. Believe me, a man who is present at the birth of his own child and who saw how this birth cost a woman, will never allow himself irresponsible behavior towards them throughout the rest of his life. In well-off families, childbirth with her husband is often the beginning of a qualitative new, higher level of relationships. In men who have gone through the entire process of childbirth with their wife and were close to the first seconds of the birth of long-awaited crumbs, much earlier the father's instinct appears. Yes, and it manifests itself in a much more vivid form than the other newly emerging young popes. These men are not afraid of responsibility for the crumbs, it is not scared of breastfeeding, diapers, diapers and bathing of the baby, while the rest of the men are often afraid of the most elementary things - for example, take the crumbs on their hands. As statistics show. In the event that there were partner births, men's reviews are the most positive. In any case, any birth never passes without a trace - the fact that the husband changed after birth, in one direction or another, notes every woman, regardless of whether she gave birth alone, or with the help and support of her husband. And it is quite understandable - being a father for a man is an extremely important and responsible business, to which in most cases he takes seriously. And it does not matter if he was near when the treasure was born. We advise you to read: