Probably not a single question regardingpregnancy and childbirth, does not cause such heated discussions as the question of the husband's presence at the birth. It is unlikely that anyone can be surprised these days by a story about partner births - they are available in almost any maternity hospital, especially in large cities. However, it would not be entirely true to say that partner births with a husband have become the norm everywhere. In fact, only a negligible number of especially brave and fearless couples decide to give birth together with their husbands. And the overwhelming majority of future parents still do not risk deciding on such a step and prefer to walk the beaten path of our grandmothers and parents for years - a woman in the delivery room, and a man destroys a third pack of cigarettes under the windows of this very delivery room. By the way, partner births have been practiced in world practice for more than thirty years. Russian women have had this opportunity to receive their husband's support during childbirth relatively recently - about ten years ago. That is why in Europe and other countries, no couple would even think about whether they want to give birth together - they just give birth to their baby together and consider this the only possible scenario. In our maternity hospital, a father present at the birth is a kind of curiosity, which the entire medical staff comes to see, not to mention the envious glances of pregnant women that the future father catches as soon as he steps out into the corridor of the department.
Why does a husband need a birth?
The first to advocate for the presence of the fatherchild during childbirth, it was American doctors - gynecologists, in particular Robert Bradley. This doctor had been carefully studying the process of natural childbirth for a long time, which occurs without the use of pharmacological drugs and any medical intervention in the natural course of events. And it was this obstetrician - gynecologist who was the first to discover the fact, widely known in our time, that the maximum attentive attitude of a woman to her internal sensations, correct breathing and the maximum possible relaxation of all the muscles of the body in this situation allows to significantly increase the chance that during childbirth there will be no unforeseen complications, for example, weakening of labor, perineal ruptures and bleeding. It goes without saying that during childbirth a woman is frightened, suppressed by intense pain. And in such a state, very few women are able to maintain self-control and control over the situation. And at this very moment, the help of a beloved man will come in handy (of course, if he does not mind being next to the woman in labor). A man plays an extremely important role during childbirth. In most maternity hospitals, a considerable number of women give birth every day. And the medical staff who work in the maternity ward, with all their desire, often do not have the opportunity not only to be constantly near the woman in labor, but even just to visit her often. And the feeling of loneliness at this time is far from the best companion for a woman. And the presence of a husband during labor, who knows exactly what to do at any given moment, will come in handy. In order to reduce pain at the peak of contractions, a husband can give his wife a special massage, which should be learned in advance. Also, at the peak of contractions, most women lose control over proper breathing - the husband can help the woman breathe exactly as needed at the moment, and also help take the most comfortable position. But the most important role in partner labor is played by moral support. Who else knows his wife better than a husband? Who can find the necessary words to support and give confidence in her abilities? In addition, in most cases, a woman during labor perceives the words and instructions of her husband much better than doctors and midwives, no matter how strange this fact may seem at first glance. Psychologists explain this phenomenon by the reactive state of the woman's psyche during childbirth. Doctors can cite more than one example when, thanks to the husband's participation in childbirth, various interventions in the natural process of childbirth were avoided.
Training courses for partner births
However, when deciding to have a joint birth,weighing all the pros and cons, a married couple should keep in mind that a man who is not properly prepared in advance will not only be unable to help his wife in any way, but will also interfere with the work of the medical staff. Believe me - despite the fact that childbirth is a natural process, for an unprepared person it can be too much of a shock. And a dad who is in a semi-fainting state, requiring assistance at a time when all attention should be focused only on the woman giving birth, is far from the best option for partner childbirth. In order to avoid such a situation, a man must take a responsible approach to this issue and properly prepare for the upcoming birth. Moreover, the preparation should be not only theoretical, but also moral. A man must clearly understand what he will have to face. Agree that watching the suffering of a loved one and having absolutely no way to stop it is not such an easy matter. It is precisely in order to help a man cope with possible psychological problems, all the arguments against such an event, and prepare for active assistance to his wife during childbirth that there are special childbirth preparation courses for expectant parents. Nowadays, there are quite a large number of such schools for couples expecting a child - in various medical centers, at women's consultations and maternity hospitals. In such schools, experienced doctors and psychologists will help the expectant mother and father prepare for childbirth, learn to interact, understand each other without words, in order to go through the path of the long-awaited baby's birth together with the least possible losses. At the preparatory courses, obstetricians and gynecologists will explain to the couple expecting the birth of a baby what the birth process itself is, what periods the birth is divided into, what are the features of the course of each of them. They will explain to the expectant mother how to behave at this or that stage of labor, what can be expected from the medical staff at this time, what difficulties can lie in wait for a woman in labor at each stage of labor, and how to behave correctly in the event of this or that complication of the normal course of the labor process. The doctors will explain to the expectant father in great detail how labor occurs, what the woman feels during it. And the most important thing that a man will learn is what a husband should do during labor, how exactly he can help his beloved woman and their baby when it is born. This information is the most valuable. After all, if a man does not understand some of the subtleties of the physiological process of labor itself, this will not be a big tragedy.
What documents are needed for joint delivery
Of course, no one needs to be convinced thatChildbirth is a complex process during which the health of the baby and its mother is extremely vulnerable and exposed to various negative effects, such as the penetration of various pathogenic microorganisms and viruses. And during childbirth, it is extremely important that the woman's environment and the situation around her meet the requirements of sterility and epidemiology. That is why in any maternity hospital that practices partner childbirth, no man will be allowed into the maternity ward unless he presents the necessary medical documents. Be sure to clarify in advance what certificates, tests and examinations are required in the maternity hospital where your baby will be born, because these requirements may differ slightly in different maternity hospitals. Be prepared for the fact that you will have to provide the maternity hospital staff with:
- The result of a fluorography study of the lungs.
It is necessary to ensure that the man does not have tuberculosis or other infectious lung diseases.
- The result of a blood test for the presence of antibodies to HIV and RW.
- The result of a blood test for a male viral hepatitis.
- The conclusion of the district therapist about the general state of health of a man is his lack of essential hypertension and ischemic heart disease.
- Help from a psychiatrist about the stability of the psyche and the absence of mental illness (extremely rare).
Myths about partner births
Despite the fact that in our time there isa huge amount of the most varied information about partner births, they are still surrounded by a trail of myths, misinterpretations and misconceptions. Many couples do not have a correct idea of the goals and consequences of joint births. Of course, partner births have pros and cons, there is no getting around it. Two main myths have become especially widespread:
- Joint births strengthen the family.
Some women believe that partner birthscan improve the relationship with the child's father, and sometimes even save a marriage that is falling apart. They believe that a man, having seen a woman suffer during childbirth, will change his attitude towards her and will begin to appreciate her. However, experienced family psychologists say the opposite. In such cases, guided by such motives, it is not worth going to a joint birth. In most cases, the stress experienced by a man during his wife's childbirth does not strengthen the relationship, but only exacerbates existing disagreements. Only those couples in which harmony and mutual understanding reign can count on strengthening the relationship. And if there are psychological problems, no knowledge of how to prepare a husband for childbirth will help solve the problem, but will only set the man against the woman.
- Joint birth with her husband leads to problems in sexual life.
In some cases, the initiator of the refusaljoint birth is a woman. The expectant mother is terrified of giving birth with her husband, as she is firmly convinced that her husband, having seen the woman in a far from good light, will lose sexual interest in her in the future. After all, what is shown in films about childbirth does not always correspond to what really happens. Despite the fact that the birth of a person is a real miracle, from an aesthetic point of view, childbirth does not present the most pleasant picture. And the woman is forced to make a difficult decision - "should I take my husband to the birth or should I oppose such an undertaking?" There are disputes and discussions around this issue not only among ordinary people, but also among doctors - psychologists and sexologists. However, there is still no consensus. As a rule, this depends solely on the character of each specific man. By the way, many married couples get out of this situation in the following way: during contractions, the man is next to his wife, helps her as much as he can, and at the moment when the pushing period begins, he leaves the maternity ward. Thus, most of the time the man is nearby, and at the most intimate moment he does not see the expectant mother. And accordingly, the problem disappears by itself - the woman will have both her husband's help during childbirth and the confidence that the husband will not see the most unseemly moments of childbirth. Such a measure will allow the young mother not to worry about her relationship with her husband after childbirth. But in fairness, it should be noted that even if problems in sexual life do arise, their cause in 99% of all cases is not a feeling of disgust, as women mistakenly believe, but a feeling of guilt. A man, seeing the suffering of his beloved woman, and knowing that he is most directly involved in what is happening, deeply blames himself for what is happening on a subconscious level. And it is this feeling of guilt that leads to sexual disorders. If you are also affected by such a delicate problem, do not make a mistake - do not try to cope with it on your own. The human psyche is an extremely vulnerable and poorly studied object. Even experienced doctors and psychologists exercise extreme caution and delicacy in order not to harm a person in any way. It is much more reasonable to contact a family psychologist or sexologist at the first signs of sexual problems, who will help get rid of them.
Men's misconceptions
As already mentioned, in order for the partners tochildbirth was as effective as possible and brought joy and satisfaction, and not a headache and additional problems, the decision to go through childbirth together, hand in hand, should be made by mutual desire, without any coercion, with full awareness of the full responsibility of the decision being made, as well as what one will have to face. However, unfortunately, such an ideal scenario is far from always encountered. Most modern men still live with the idea that childbirth is an exclusive female prerogative, and the presence of a man during it is something unnatural, going beyond the normal. And dad's task is reduced to being on duty by the phone and then notifying relatives. Like, our parents gave birth in a similar way, and it's okay - everyone is alive and well. However, those men who are not against giving birth together with their spouse, who nevertheless decided on such a responsible step as partner childbirth, for the most part do not regret such a step. Moreover, after giving birth together, they radically change their ideas about childbirth, advising all their friends to be with their wives during the birth of their baby. These men clearly understand that drunken shouts under the windows of the maternity hospital are far from a sign of masculinity and true love for their woman and, most importantly, for their baby. As a rule, the greatest pride in men is the special trust shown to the young father by doctors - cutting the umbilical cord. Believe me - a man who is present at the birth of his own baby and has seen how much strength this very birth cost the woman, will never allow himself to behave irresponsibly towards them throughout the rest of his life. In prosperous families, childbirth together with the husband is often the beginning of a qualitatively new, higher level of relationships. Men who went through the entire process of childbirth together with their wife and were there from the first seconds of the long-awaited baby's birth, develop a paternal instinct much earlier. And it manifests itself in a much brighter form than that of other newly-minted young dads. These men are not afraid of responsibility for the baby, they are not afraid of breastfeeding, diapers, nappies and bathing the baby, while other men are often afraid of the most basic things - for example, picking up the baby. As statistics show. In the event that there was a partner birth, the reviews of men are the most positive. In any case, any birth never passes without a trace - the fact that the husband has changed after childbirth, in one direction or another, is noted by every woman, regardless of whether she gave birth alone or with the support and help of her husband. And this is quite understandable - being a father for a man is an extremely important and responsible matter, which in most cases he takes quite seriously. And it is absolutely unimportant whether he was there at the moment of the birth of his treasure. We advise you to read:
