Why do women want to get married?Who knows... Well, it would seem that free representatives of the fair sex have an easier time living than married ones. No one demands delicious lunches and dinners, no one grumbles about trifles. No one needs to iron shirts in the morning or prepare clean socks. No one needs to wait for someone to come home from work until three in the morning, getting nervous and tormenting the buttons of the phone. In a word, not life, but one big raspberry! But for some reason we want to get married! We just dream of sticking out our tongues and rushing home after work to feed our oaf a tasty meal. And then, when he is lounging on the couch, hang around in the bathroom until midnight, washing his shirts. It's some kind of masochism, right? True. Theoretically, it is better to be free. But practically all of us strive for this "masochism" and are afraid of loneliness. Let's figure out why.
The reasons why women want to get married
So why do women want to get married?It is probably a natural need, somewhat similar to the need to eat, drink, sleep. It is human nature to want love for oneself and to want to love oneself. The weaker sex especially needs this. Every normal woman cherishes the hope of meeting a wonderful man who will carry her in his arms for the rest of her life. But it is not at all necessary to get married for this! After all, you can lie in someone's arms for years without thinking about a stamp in your passport. But no, we want a legal marriage! Why?! The fact is that in a legal marriage:
In general, material well-being is quitea weighty argument for wanting to get married. Many ladies want to have a strong shoulder next to them that they can lean on at any moment. There are also those who simply dream of sitting on their spouse's neck. But at the same time, almost all of them would like both a strong shoulder and a neck to belong to their beloved man. True, some of the girls agree to go to the registry office with someone who at least does not cause disgust. There is another significant reason for wanting an official marriage. In marriage, a woman feels complete and more in demand in society. It is no secret that in our society, a single representative of the fair sex is still considered, in some way, a loser. Like, something is wrong with her if no man dared to invite the "poor thing" to the registry office. Public opinion is a great thing! It can exert powerful pressure on our decisions and even change fate. Thanks to it, many girls marry an unloved man just because that is the custom. After all, being alone is “indecent” from the point of view of society. And finally, some people want to find a husband because they are tired of living with their parents, while others really want to wear a chic wedding dress. In a word, women have more than enough reasons to dream of getting married. Some want to love and be loved, take care of someone, know that someone is waiting for them at home, feel protected and not be afraid of condemnation from society. At the same time, there are girls who dream of getting married for convenience in order to manipulate their spouse and take advantage of his wealth. Well, my dear women, we have sorted out a little about why we want to get married. Now let's talk about what sometimes comes of it. After all, getting married, as we know, is not a disaster...
Defective marriage
If earlier the most successful period forIn the past, the age of marriage was considered to be between twenty-one and twenty-four years, but today morals have changed somewhat. Nowadays, marriages concluded when a girl is twenty-seven to thirty years old are especially approved of. Why? Because in recent years, an opinion has formed in society that before getting married, a woman should get an education, have a job, life experience and a formed character. It was before that silly girls would rush out to marry “handsome princes” and then put up with their chauvinistic antics for decades. And now – no way! Now women first intend to make a career, and only then start a family. They say, enough, we’ve suffered enough from our tyrant and despot husbands. Now we can arrange “years snatched away” for any of them we want! Let them reckon with their wives… And it all seems logical. Since women have become more independent, it means that men should value them more, cherish them and give in more often. Consequently, marriages should be stronger. But - alas, alas... Almost half of our contemporaries are unhappy in marriage. Because the faithful still kick, glance to the left, and often even pack their things. And it is mainly the fair sex who try to save the family. They, as before, hide their family problems from strangers until the last moment. Like, it's shameful! People will also think that the role of a wife is not for me! Often, such a position only aggravates the situation. Because a woman who is always tense, suffering from her husband's inattention, becomes like a driven horse and is unlikely to become an object of love for her faithful during such a period. As a result, the "horse" runs in circles, losing strength, respect from her husband and self-confidence. The question is - who needs this? Why try with all your might to save a family that has long since ceased to exist? Because divorce is a powerful stress that many are afraid of. Stress not only because the usual way of life is broken and not only because the woman can suffer financially. But also because after the divorce she will receive the status of a single woman. It would seem that there is nothing terrible in this if the lady is well-off, has a good job, and her ex-husband no longer evokes any warm feelings in her. Get a divorce and become free and happy! Aha. No way. In such freedom there are a lot of traps that are almost always created by the surrounding society.
Divorced woman and society
In general, even if the break with the husband was not toopainful for a woman, in the future her psyche will still be subject to a whole host of attacks. Why? Well, let's imagine this situation. The divorce is over, the faithful has gone on a free flight, the woman is now considered unmarried. Even if she has children, parents and a lot of girlfriends, she will still be called lonely from now on. A heavy word... Lonely means abandoned, even if she abandoned herself. Lonely means a loser, even if she wanted a divorce with all her heart. Lonely means unhappy. And if she looks pretty and cheerful, then she is pretending. It turns out that she is secretive and cunning... Because a "divorcee" is not supposed to be happy, nor lucky, nor openly life-loving. The majority of married ladies are sure that divorced women envy them with terrible force. And that "divorces" are a threat to their family well-being. That is why they reflexively distance themselves from a single lady, stop inviting her to home celebrations and avoid her at common parties. And they start looking for an excuse for their alienation in her behavior. For example, two women are late for work - one has a husband and children, the other is divorced and also has children. The first one is sympathized with by her colleagues, they ask what happened, inquire about the children's health. The second one is met with caustic ridicule, claiming that she was hanging out somewhere until the morning. But she also has children! Perhaps they are sick. Or maybe they both just overslept! Of course, a divorced woman is offended by this ridicule. Willy-nilly, she will flare up... A divorced woman generally needs to be very patient in order to explain at every step why she is alone. Well, she likes being alone, so who will believe it? She was late - that means she spent the night at her lover's. If she didn't manage to place an order on time, it means she's thinking about some guy; if she answered sharply, it means she's gone wild without a man... And so on and so forth. What kind of nerves can withstand such constant pressure from tactless questions and equally tactless advice from co-workers, neighbors, relatives, and acquaintances? If a divorced lady doesn't learn to behave in such a way that people around her are afraid to ask such questions, she'll have a hard time. Society will try to develop guilt complexes, self-doubt, and a sense of worthlessness in a single woman. In a word, a woman after a divorce will have to deal with questions, admonitions, advice, offers to meet someone, and dirty hints almost every day. Because many "benefactors" will start to show increased interest in her, as if she were some kind of unusual person. Such inadequate public perception, of course, is irritating and frightening. After all, a woman needs peace, not someone's pitiful advice and gossip behind her back. Well, she shouldn't run to see a psychiatrist right after a divorce, really? However, not everything is as terrible these days as we just described. Nowadays, many people treat divorced women quite calmly, believing that there is nothing tragic about it. But, unfortunately, there are also those who are sure of the opposite. So what should you do? Should you be afraid of loneliness?
Should I be afraid of loneliness?
Why can't a woman be saved after a divorce?leave alone? First of all, because it never occurs to some married ladies that any of them could end up divorced. Frankly speaking, such confidence in the inviolability of one's own family is often harmful to a woman. Well, who among us does not know cases when some representative of the weaker sex tolerates her alcoholic and reveler husband all her life - and brags that she is a "married woman"! And with pity (or contempt) says to her unmarried acquaintances: - Oh, how I feel sorry for you, girls! How restless you are, always without a husband! Although in this case she should be pitied. It is hardly possible to feel "restless" when your faithful makes you look for the fifth corner every evening. In principle, there is nothing disgusting about loneliness if a woman feels comfortable. She is free in her actions, so why tolerate until old age someone who does not appreciate you at all? Of course, if the expression "single woman" is too scary and seems excessively offensive, you can jump into marriage with anyone. And then howl into your pillow at night from hopelessness and melancholy. Loneliness is not a tragedy at all. It is just one of the stages in a woman's life. The status of a divorcee has many advantages for a woman. It makes her wiser, more experienced, forcing her to understand that our destiny depends only on us, and not on the opinion of society. And if a woman realizes this, she will get the opportunity to build her life with her own hands. And to be happy regardless of whether she has a husband or not. Many unmarried women have children, friends, relatives. Loneliness is their conscious choice. These are successful ladies, quite happy with their lives. Does any stranger have the right to say that they are unhappy? Yes, everyone wants to have a loved one next to them. But a loved and loving person! And not a scoundrel who does not need either children or a wife. And anyway, why are divorced women called "poor singles" while men are immediately classified as "promising bachelors"? Where does such injustice come from, and by what right does society decide who is happy and who is not? There is no standard of happiness in life. How simple everything would be if there was! Found a husband, and that's it, done, happy for life. But no. Happiness is individual. Having a legal spouse, unfortunately, does not guarantee it. Why does a woman want to get married? Well, of course, to become happy! Or prosperous, finally... But not just to have a member of the opposite sex nearby. And any kind, as long as he wears pants. Pants are not a guarantee of a happy life. Even if they are very expensive. No, maybe someone is happy because of this! There is a husband, and everything is great. And for someone it is fine without him. And society has nothing to do with it. You need to be able to decide for yourself what you need, and not this faceless society. After all, in the grand scheme of things, what difference does it make whether we are married or not! The main thing is to be happy. Or always have that right. We recommend reading:
