Congenital malformations, loss of a child Extraordinary and relatively rarecircumstances are congenital defects, stillbirth, birth trauma. Without special reasons, one should not even think about the possibility of such an outcome, the pain and bitterness in this case is difficult to convey in words. Every loss of a child is a hack for the mother, difficult to express. The woman was waiting for her child for almost 9 months. She dreamed of him, felt his jolts, listened to the beating of his heart, took a crib for him, ordered an outfit, prepared his friends, family and life for the acceptance of a new man, and now returns home empty-handed. Probably, there is no greater pain than this - from the loss of a child. And although it is impossible to compensate for the loss that a woman feels, time goes on, the problem becomes more tolerable, depression disappears. Coping with the first woeful days is a little easier, if you decide in advance how you will act in this situation. If the child dies before the birth, you can think about how you want to give birth. Should artificial births be induced artificially, and if so, when? All this you can discuss with your doctor and relatives. It should also consider how to proceed in the case of stillbirth or the death of a child soon after childbirth. Would you like to restore your strength in the postpartum ward where mothers with children are in another ward of the hospital or would you prefer an early discharge? Will you agree to an autopsy to establish the cause of the child's death? What do you want to keep in memory of the child? Many counselors recommend that parents see and hold the hands of their dead or dying baby. Give the child a name, baptize, take photos, print footsteps, keep a lock of hair - also a way to pay tribute to the memory of the child. Burial and funeral services also give the family and friends the opportunity to gather, express their condolences and love for you. Some help can be provided by communication with parents who have suffered a similar loss. Although nothing will lessen your pain, emotional support will help you at this difficult time. If the child was born with a defect, premature or very sick, you need to make other decisions. If a child is transferred to a clinic specializing in serious childhood illnesses, you can leave the maternity home earlier and visit the child. You can feed your child, either giving the breast, or sucking the milk, then to give it to the child. It all depends on your condition. Doctors and nurses can give you the necessary information about your child's condition, treatment, what to expect in the future, and show how best to help your child. If your child is dead or born sick, you will need time to survive and reflect on your position. After discussing what happened with the midwife or doctor who received the birth, you will better understand the full picture. Conversations with a counselor, therapist, spiritual mentor will also help you cope with emotions. Family and loved ones can also help you, protecting you from excessive curiosity of others, distracting you with pleasant troubles, etc. If your child is dead or was born sick, you need time to cry. Mourning is painful and debilitating, but one must survive grief. After all, after many months or even years you will humble yourself, although sorrow will remain for a long time. Give yourself time to recover emotionally and physically. We advise you to read: