Many of their married girlfriends do not evenguess about such experiences and problems. After all, at first glance, everything that the difficulties of single mothers are reduced to is where to get money, with whom to leave the child and how to start trusting men again. But no. It's not just that. Any mother is afraid for her child. A single mom has to be afraid for two, because there is often no one to protect her. And their own experiences of joy in life do not add ...Photo: Getty Images

Envy of happy couples

Anna, 24 years old: I came with a child to the game room in the mall. Near the tables, adults sit, watch as the kids run around. With the kids, the parents come in. Well, I'm next to Maxim. I run after him, I go down the stairs to the pool of balls. And there's mom and dad. My peers. Happy. They catch their little son. They laugh and kiss him. And I have a lump in my throat. My son than worse? I than worse? Why is she got a good husband and dad, and my father does not even give presents for his birthday, even though he was from a good family, his parents spent their whole lives together ... I can not look at happy couples, my heart bleeds. Especially if there's a dad in the yard with a stroller. And my Maxim calls all men dads ... Is this envy?What you are experiencing is normal. Envy is a destructive feeling, sometimes exacerbating the negative attitude towards people. You have no negative. The child is small, so you have left relatively recently. You, as a young woman, want love, warmth, strong shoulder next to, a full family for his son. You are experiencing mental anguish, which you should gradually get rid of. And you are feeding her! Absolutely not knowing what is happening to these families. And there are problems and tears. Begin to leave from something that you can not return. Accept: you are alone with the child. What to do? Become a happy woman and mother. What's next? Diversify your life. Urgently! Sign up in a circle of tango, buy interesting, educational books, find a hobby. Score a void useful. Decide who will sit with Maxim for the hour and a half while you are at the dance. The boy needs a happy mother. A man is looking for a special energy in his chosen one, and not uncontrollable pain and insult to the whole world.

Child hurt and there is nobody to protect

Alina, 27 years old: My son is five years old. Every day comes from the kindergarten and bruised. Talked with the tutor, she says that they themselves are tired of this Misha. It is impossible to look after all. Zahar says that the boy teases him and beats him because he wears round glasses. And now they call me to the manager. There is such a daddy-ambal, saw me and how to let's yell: "Once again your ochkarik will stick to my Misha, I'll decide on bruises and knockouts, understand?" I was simply taken aback. The manager and educator themselves got scared, began to make comments to him, again: "I've said everything and I'll find the address!" I cried all night. And then I started a panic attack. It's just a kindergarten. And what will happen next? How can I protect it?Alina, tell your son to stay away fromthis child. Let the children learn how to call for help from the teacher in such attacks. You can collect the signatures of all the parents in the group and contact the administration. In the most critical cases, the administration at the request of the parents of the group has the right to ask to stop visiting the garden. And remember: you do not live in a forest or on an uninhabited island. Even the father of this boy can be held accountable. Do not be afraid for the future of your son, invest as much as possible in your mother's warmth. And in 6 years, you can give the child to the section where there will be a male coach, so that the boy from childhood had a good male example before his eyes.Photo: GettyImages

The child does not want a new dad. I will remain a loner

Marina, 34: I lived alone for seven years! Seven years! And finally I met a man. Good, kind. A daughter has a father. As a husband - disgusting, but as a father ... His daughter loves. He takes her once a month to his mother. They with the grandmother mold dumplings, look "Voronin". For a year now we have met with my new man. Katya saw him. And categorically against: "He will not live with us!" My mother says that you have to think about your daughter, she is only 9 years old, not about peasants.In these matters, there is no need to listen to anyone,forgive me, but my mother's advice says that she also brought you up alone. The child is jealous. This is a frequent phenomenon. The life of a girl is changing, her mother no longer belongs to her alone, and the need to share her mother's attention with someone else. And this is someone else's uncle. What to do? In no case do not abandon the relationship. Try not to change the child's living conditions sharply. Also on Saturdays, go to the park and the cinema. Invite the children home. Create a situation where a new person in something will help your Katya. Make joint games. And say more often to her words of love.

My child annoys me

Elena, 29 years old: I'm afraid to even think about it. But I can not any more! Daughters are five years old. I am a single mother. With the father of the child, we have not signed, and problems and life have finished off our civil marriage. You have to do everything yourself. And work, and earn additionally, and work with a child. All girls are princesses, my hooligan, screaming everywhere, a pest in the house. I yell in response. Forces are no longer there. Nobody wants to play with her in the kindergarten, she fights, her tongue shows. When she falls ill, I roar like hell. She always whines, cries, rushes books, does not want to take medicine. The other day, the thermometer threw it into the wall. It seems to me that she does not just irritate me, I sometimes do not like her, especially after talking with the failed husband, when he sends me very far in response to my request to help with money.Elena, you have a syndrome of increasing fatigue. Fading forces. When my mother just gives up and suffers from her own negativity due to problems, falling into a cry. You associate your irritation with the behavior of a child who is capricious and does not obey. But in fact, this child behaves this way, because he feels your irritation. If you have already reached the boiling point, then you need to do something. You can just scream. Open mouth, nowhere, without a child, into the void. Scream all your problems, give your laryngeal sound your pain. Then exhale and say calmly: I'm a good mom, I have a favorite child, I just need to rest. Choose two or three days! Take the baby to the grandmother. And just get asleep. Look at your daughter not through irritation, but through the prism of love and joy that you have it. You will certainly experience pleasant feelings. She always forgives and loves you - just as no one else can. If it becomes very difficult with emotions, contact a psychologist.Photo: GettyImages

Not the first freshness and with the child

Ekaterina, 36 years old: Well, what can I say. Three years alone and I'm afraid to meet with men. After divorce I lost weight quickly. Has got rid for 3 months from hated 20 kg. But there is no breast at all, the priest is sagging, stretch marks on the hips after childbirth. Everything is bad. If before the marriage I was a beauty, the chest is a third size, the body is super, now it's just horror ... I hate myself. I tried to meet with a man, but how can I imagine that I'll have to undress, and seeing the streamers, he will say: "What's this?" Well, that's all ...Alas, the body of a woman changes, after birth. It is a fact. But it is known that if a man likes a woman and he knows that she has a child, questions about "body parts" can not even be close. To hate yourself is definitely not a solution. Sign up for strip-plastic, dance, trainings for women. You do not need to lose weight, you do not have excess weight. And the body will become different when your thoughts and mood change. Know yourself again. The problem of stretch marks and a non-sexual body is only in your head.

Something has happened to me. I'm five years old alone.

Irina, 35 years old: I really want a relationship! Just awful. I look young, I earn well, I go by car, I work a lot, I dress fashionably, at the same time I'm easy to communicate with, and in general, my friends say that I'm clever and beautiful. I work in a women's team. I go and in cafe, and in cinema, and on actions of a city. But with me no one gets acquainted. More truly, girls lonely will understand me: those who get acquainted, or gigolo any, or fans to drink and dream up about themselves. I have a daughter. I choose not only my husband, but my father. But there was no serious relationship. I'm not fussy! Is there something wrong with me?With you all so. But the life pace that you have chosen has its price. These are your resources, which are at zero. Home - work - home. Sometimes a cafe and a movie. You believe that the meeting should happen as in a fairy tale. All of a sudden. You drop the handkerchief, it is nearby, raises ... and it raced. You are not 20 and not 25. You will get acquainted with the same busy, working person, like you. He will not even notice the dropped kerchief. What you need? Take up the running. Stroll more, leaving the car. Visit one cafe. Not with friends. So it will be easier for you to approach. Start to conduct interesting conversations in the network. Choose groups of interests, send requests for friendship. Fill up your resource with classes of any kind. A child is very important. But it looks like you got carried away and forgot about yourself.Photo: Getty Images

I do not care about all

Mariyana, 26 years old: I'm very unhappy! Nobody can help me normally. And I'm alone with the baby. Mom only cares about her new husband, she only comes to her grandson for the weekend. And then he calls me on the phone so that I quickly come home, he cries. The sister will bring food once a week, play with Makarka, and run. The former husband gets away from us with alimony, but does not want to sit with the child. I called my grandmother out of the village. A month has passed, and back to the garden. There are friends. They can sit, but not for long. And none of them have experience of motherhood, they quickly get tired of a two-year-old. She asked my father to give money to a nanny, he refused, said that I myself must learn to cope, he to me and so for the apartment and gasoline pays. Why did people become like that? I do not know how to live!You must understand one important and very valuableyou thing - you have nothing to do! Fathers abandon their children and do not pay alimony to them. Young grandmothers arrange their lives. And have the right to do so. Your sister is a good girl! It brings you products. Father helps financially. To be offended at an old grandmother in general is super wrong. Your friends help you, and you condemn them for their ineptitude. In my opinion, you, like a lonely mother, it was not so bad. Do not you think that the developed system "all of me should" soon lead to the fact that you generally will remain without help, friends and support? Learn to take responsibility on your shoulders. This is your child. This is your life. You are responsible for it. And not the village grandmother and ex-husband.

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