Many of their married girlfriends do not evenguess about such experiences and problems. After all, at first glance, everything that the difficulties of single mothers are reduced to is where to get money, with whom to leave the child and how to start trusting men again. But no. It's not just that. Any mother is afraid for her child. A single mom has to be afraid for two, because there is often no one to protect her. And their own experiences of joy in life do not add ...Photo: Getty Images

Envy of happy couples

Anna, 24 years old:I came with my child to the playroom in the shopping center. There are tables nearby, adults are sitting, watching the kids running around. Parents go inside with the little ones. Well, I am next to Maksimka. I run after him, take him down the stairs into the ball pit. And there are moms and dads. My peers. Happy. They catch their son. Laugh, kiss him. And I have a lump in my throat. How is my son worse? How am I worse? Why did she get a good husband and dad, but my son's dad doesn't even give him presents for his birthday, although the guy was from a good family, his parents have been together all their lives... I can't look at happy couples, my heart bleeds. Especially if there is a dad with a stroller in the yard. And my Maksim calls all men dads... Is this envy?What you are experiencing is normal.Envy is a destructive feeling, sometimes exacerbating a negative attitude towards people. You have no negativity. The child is small, which means that you broke up relatively recently. You, as a young woman, want love, warmth, a strong shoulder nearby, a full-fledged family for your son. You are experiencing mental pain, which you need to gradually get rid of. And you feed it! Without knowing at all what is happening to these families. And there are problems and tears. Start moving away from what can no longer be returned. Accept: you are alone with a child. What to do? Become a happy woman and mother. What next? Diversify your life. Urgently! Sign up for a tango club, buy interesting, educational books, find a hobby. Fill the emptiness with useful things. Decide who will sit with Maxim for these hour and a half while you are dancing. The boy needs a happy mother. A man is looking for special energy in his chosen one, and not uncontrollable pain and resentment towards the whole world.

Child hurt and there is nobody to protect

Alina, 27 years old: My son is five years old.Every day he comes home from kindergarten covered in bites and bruises. I talked to the teacher, she said that they themselves were tired of this Misha. It is impossible to keep an eye on everyone. Zakhar says that the boy teases him and hits him because he wears round glasses. And then they call me to the headmistress. There stands this big dad, he sees me and starts yelling: "If your four-eyes boy comes near my Misha again, I will judge him by his bruises and knockouts, got it?" I was simply taken aback. The headmistress and the teacher themselves got scared, started making comments to him, and he again: "I told you everything and I will find the address!" I cried all night. And then I started having a panic attack. This is only kindergarten. What will happen next? How can I protect him?Alina, tell your son to stay away fromthis child. Let the children learn how to call for help from the teacher in such attacks. You can collect the signatures of all the parents in the group and contact the administration. In the most critical cases, the administration at the request of the parents of the group has the right to ask to stop visiting the garden. And remember: you do not live in a forest or on an uninhabited island. Even the father of this boy can be held accountable. Do not be afraid for the future of your son, invest as much as possible in your mother's warmth. And in 6 years, you can give the child to the section where there will be a male coach, so that the boy from childhood had a good male example before his eyes.Photo: GettyImages

The child does not want a new dad. I will remain a loner

Marina, 34: I lived alone for seven years! Seven years!And finally I met a man. A good, kind man. My daughter has a father. As a husband, he is disgusting, but as a father... My daughter loves him. He takes her to her mother once a month. He and her grandmother make pelmeni, watch "The Voronins". We have been dating my new man for a year now. Katya has seen him. And she is categorically against it: "He will not live with us!" My mother says that we need to think about our daughter, she is only 9 years old, and not about men.There is no need to listen to anyone in these matters,Sorry, but Mom's advice says that she also raised you alone. The child is jealous. This is a common occurrence. The girl's life is changing, her mother no longer belongs only to her, and she needs to share her mother's attention with someone else. And this is a stranger. What to do? Do not give up on the relationship under any circumstances. Try not to abruptly change the child's living conditions. Also, go to the park and the cinema on Saturdays. Invite the children home. Create a situation where a new person will help your Katya in something. Arrange games together. And tell her words of love more often.

My child annoys me

Elena, 29 years old: I’m afraid to even think about it.But I can't anymore! My daughter is five years old. I am a single mother. My child's father and I never got married, and problems and everyday life have finished off our civil marriage. I have to do everything myself. Work, earn extra money, and take care of the child. All girls are such princesses, but mine is a hooligan, screaming everywhere, a pest in the house. I scream back. I have no strength left. No one wants to play with her in kindergarten, they fight, stick out their tongues. When she gets sick, I cry my eyes out. She whines all the time, cries, throws books, doesn't want to take medicine. The other day she threw a thermometer at the wall. It seems to me that she not only irritates me, I sometimes don't like her, especially after a conversation with my failed husband, when in response to my request for help with money, he sends me very far away.Elena, you have a syndrome of increasing fatigue. Fading forces. When my mother just gives up and suffers from her own negativity due to problems, falling into a cry. You associate your irritation with the behavior of a child who is capricious and does not obey. But in fact, this child behaves this way, because he feels your irritation. If you have already reached the boiling point, then you need to do something. You can just scream. Open mouth, nowhere, without a child, into the void. Scream all your problems, give your laryngeal sound your pain. Then exhale and say calmly: I'm a good mom, I have a favorite child, I just need to rest. Choose two or three days! Take the baby to the grandmother. And just get asleep. Look at your daughter not through irritation, but through the prism of love and joy that you have it. You will certainly experience pleasant feelings. She always forgives and loves you - just as no one else can. If it becomes very difficult with emotions, contact a psychologist.Photo: GettyImages

Not the first freshness and with the child

Ekaterina, 36 years old: Well, what can I say.I've been single for three years and I'm afraid to date men. After the divorce, I lost weight rapidly. I lost the hated 20 kg in 3 months. But I have no breasts at all, my butt is sagging, stretch marks on my thighs after giving birth. Everything is bad. If before marriage I was a beauty, size 3 breasts, super body, now it's just awful... I hate myself. I tried dating a man, but I imagine that I'll have to undress, and he, seeing the stretch marks, will say: "What is this?" Well, that's it...A woman's body, unfortunately, changes after childbirth. This is a fact.But it is known that if a man likes a woman and he knows that she has a child, there can be no questions about "body parts". Hating yourself is definitely not a solution. Sign up for strip plastic, dancing, training for women. You don't need to lose weight, you don't have excess weight. And your body will become different when your thoughts and attitude change. Get to know yourself anew. The problem of stretch marks and an unsexy body is only in your head.

Something has happened to me. I'm five years old alone.

Irina, 35 years old: I really want a relationship!It's just awful. I look young, I earn good money, I drive a car, I work a lot, I dress fashionably, and at the same time I'm easy to talk to, and in general, my friends say that I'm smart and beautiful. I work in a women's team. I go to cafes, and to the cinema, and to city events. But no one gets to know me. Or rather, single girls will understand me: those who do get to know me are either some kind of gigolos, or like to drink and fantasize about themselves. I have a daughter. I choose not only a husband, but also a father. But I have never had a serious relationship. I'm not picky! Is there something wrong with me?With you all so. But the life pace that you have chosen has its price. These are your resources, which are at zero. Home - work - home. Sometimes a cafe and a movie. You believe that the meeting should happen as in a fairy tale. All of a sudden. You drop the handkerchief, it is nearby, raises ... and it raced. You are not 20 and not 25. You will get acquainted with the same busy, working person, like you. He will not even notice the dropped kerchief. What you need? Take up the running. Stroll more, leaving the car. Visit one cafe. Not with friends. So it will be easier for you to approach. Start to conduct interesting conversations in the network. Choose groups of interests, send requests for friendship. Fill up your resource with classes of any kind. A child is very important. But it looks like you got carried away and forgot about yourself.Photo: Getty Images

I do not care about all

Maryana, 26 years old: I am very unhappy!No one can help me properly. And I am alone with a child. My mother is only worried about her new husband, she only comes to see her grandson on weekends. And then she calls me on the phone to come home quickly, he cries. My sister brings groceries once a week, plays with Makarka, and runs. My ex-husband gets rid of us with alimony, but does not want to sit with the child. I called my grandmother from the village. She stayed for a month, and then went back to the garden. I have friends. They can sit, but not for long. And none of them have experience of motherhood, they quickly get tired of a two-year-old. I asked my father to give me money for a nanny, he refused, saying that I should learn to cope on my own, he already pays for my apartment and gas. Why have people become like this? I don’t know how to live!You must understand one important and very valuable thing foryour thing - NO ONE OWES YOU ANYTHING! Fathers abandon their children and do not pay them child support. Young grandmothers arrange their lives. And they have the right to do so. Your sister is a smart girl! She brings you groceries. Your father helps you financially. It is completely wrong to be offended by an old granny. Your friends help you, and you condemn them for their ineptitude. In my opinion, things are not so bad for you as a single mother. Don't you think that the system you have developed "everyone owes me" will soon lead to you being left without any help, friends or support at all? Learn to take responsibility on your shoulders. This is your child. This is your life. You are responsible for it. And not a village granny and an ex-husband.

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