Teenage years. About him thousands of books have been written, hundreds of films have been shot. And yet it still remains difficult for every young person standing on the verge of growing up. "This period is the most difficult and important period in the life of any person. The crisis of transition age is a transitional bridge between childhood and adulthood. And the very concept of "crisis" is used here to emphasize the severity and morbidity of this period of time from childhood to adulthood, "explains Elena Shuvarina, the psychologist and head of the Development Center for Children and Parents" House of Joy ". Difficulties of adolescence are associated, first of all, with the physiological reconstruction of the child's body - puberty, problems with the functioning of organs may arise, the emotional background is unstable. Perhaps, each of us remembers, as himself, as a teenager, suddenly suddenly became irritable, nervous and even aggressive. And even in this period our children, still unquestioningly obeying Mom and Dad yesterday, suddenly start to challenge any of our words, vigorously react to the most innocent remarks. We feel how our parental authority falls ... "But these clashes tell the teenager who he is, about his capabilities, and satisfy the need for his self-affirmation. At the same time, the teenager wants everything at once. He sees the opportunities that are opening before him, but in fact he is still a child, and in due measure he can not control his own behavior, "says Elena Shuvarina. She assures: the child who has become a teenager still loves us and needs our love, but at the same time in every way strives for independence. And how the relations will develop in this difficult period for both parties depends largely on the parents' desire to understand and feel their child. No matter how difficult the adolescent period is, this is a natural and even necessary phenomenon in the life of each child. Who are you? What can you do in this life, and what is not? What are you as a future man or woman? How to build a relationship with the opposite sex? What to do with love? Before the teenager in full growth there are many difficult questions. And you can not get answers to them without denying everything that adults offer - otherwise you will not find your own answers. "Trying to solve something yourself, even if the adult offered the wisest decision. Search for yourself and get involved in various stories, checking how strong you are, capable and stoic. Closely look into your appearance, realizing that beauty and attractiveness greatly increase the chances of being accepted and loved in this society. Actively contact with the opposite sex, discovering other worlds. Much to communicate with their own kind, realizing that you are not alone, that you have the same problems as others, "- so describes the tasks facing adolescents, our consultant. In this difficult time, our children are often unbearable, not only for us, parents, but for ourselves. They begin to learn worse, do not listen to adults at all, often behave defiantly. But not because they are bad: it's just that our children are growing up ... "I deliberately paid much attention to the specifics of the manifestation of the teenage crisis, in order to show you that this is not some kind of attack - it is the perfect norm in the child's behavior. Remember, my dear, that the teenager is experiencing no less than we, the parents, "says Elena Shuvarina. So who and what can help us, parents, survive the crisis of adolescence with the lowest emotional costs? Only ourselves and our parental love! First of all, it is necessary to remember: the crisis is inevitable, without it the child can not become an adult. In addition, it is very important to remember: the child loves and respects you as before, only now he can not express it, because first he must destroy all of our parental authority. "The realization that our child has grown up and we can not control his entire life and decide for him - he now has a period of independent decisions. Accepting that it may seem to someone bad, ugly, unsuccessful, but your support and unobtrusive participation can do with all this real miracles. Believe in your teenager and believe that this period in his life will soon end, "- this is the recipe for the behavior that pedagogical psychologist Elena Shuvarina gives to teenage parents. How can we, parents, help our teenager? Love, acceptance and faith in his disobedient and infinitely loved growing up child. Elena Shuvarina advises: "... continue to love and believe that he will succeed, do not swing the right over trifles and, of course, give the opportunity to make mistakes and insist on his own. To treat him and his world with due respect, even if he, his world is not entirely sympathetic to you. Be at arm's length, ready to support when asked. Despite the rapid manifestations of feelings, stay with him in a close relationship, preferably warm and welcoming. And remember, my dear, that our main task as parents is to support your teenager on the way of growing up and try to understand him. "More good advice from Elena Shuvarina on the website of the Development Center for Children and Parents
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