Children and parents are about love. It must be about love. But in these relations sometimes there is so much hatred that it becomes even scary. After all, this is your most dear person whom you love simply because he is. And he hits on the most painful. Here are two typical stories - different, but equally awful for moms. “In three years, she hated her father. Now she is five years old, she hates me, arguing that I scold her and beat her. Talking to me in an exceptionally capricious, aggressive tone. Calling bad words, which she learned in kindergarten. Trying to disaccustom her from a bad lexicon, I punish. For example, I say: I will hear this word again - you will go to another room. I tried to apologize for mistreatment if I offended her. She confessed her love. All to no avail: cries and says he will not forgive. He tries his best to stab me, to hurt me. What to do? Ignore? To be stricter? Spoil? Wait until it passes? "Photo:GettyImages“At 17, I met my future husband, he was 10 years older than me. He turned out to be a binge drinker. I tried to re-educate him, gave birth to his son. My husband ran away. In short, it was my own fault, but that didn’t make it any easier. There was no help, either moral or financial, from anyone. I went to work in another city. My mother would start drinking and forget about her grandson. As soon as that happened, I came back and didn’t let her near my son anymore. I took the child with me. We lived in a rented room. He went to kindergarten. Even then, he started throwing tantrums if something didn’t work out or didn’t go the way he wanted. He was just a baby, and instead of helping him, I got angry at him, scolded him, he screamed and stamped his feet. I couldn’t hold back and beat him. Then I found a good job, I was gone from morning until late evening. He was with nannies and girlfriends. He became aggressive, learned to lie at the age of four. I understand that he was looking for my attention, he is a very open boy, but his laughter was heard less and less often. I love him very much, but I scolded him and forbade him a lot. Again, I raised my hand, and even insulted him. And then it dawned on me what I was doing to my son. He is in the 4th grade, his grades are above average, he does not respect me. Right, but why? We argue every day. My son hates me now and says that it is all my fault, he is 10 years old, and we still have not dealt with hysterics. When I say "no" he screams and stamps his feet. He does not behave like that with his aunt and grandmother. I am very ashamed in front of him and sorry that I am ruining his life. "I am a bad mother" - this is the diagnosis both of these women give themselves. But maybe this is not entirely true and something else can be fixed? To understand this, we must first understand why we hear such words....Read More