How to help a child survive a parent's divorce

If everything went wrong in family life andmarriage cannot be saved, then the psychological health of the child must be saved. Former spouses must remember that even after a divorce, they remain parents. Children of two to seven years experience the most acute divorce of parents. It is during this period of time that sleep disturbances, increased tearfulness, the emergence of various fears, decreased activity in cognitive ability, increased aggression, anxiety and anxiety may appear. Such symptoms can affect the emotional state of the child and lead to various diseases of his nervous system. By the way, psychologists say that too calm a child in such a situation should alert the parents much more than throwing emotions to the right and left. Indifference and outward calm say only that a whole volcano of passions is boiling inside. How can you minimize the stress of a child facing a divorce of parents?Photo: Getty ImagesTry to keep peaceful relations with your former spouse.

Despite anger and resentment, you need to maintaingood relationship with her ex-husband. It is especially important to refrain from negative assessments in the presence of a child, in any case not to rush insults: "Your father is a real scoundrel," "He left you."
Do not prohibit the former spouse to see hischild, and the more do not tune the baby against him. It is important for boys to form standards of male behavior, and for girls, communication with their father gives experience of interaction with the opposite sex.

All conversations related to alimony or division of property should be conducted in the absence of the child.

Of course, you do not have to stay with your ex-husbandbest friends, but try to come to a common opinion in matters of education. Agree on how much time the baby will spend with each of you, discuss the cost of clothing, training or educational activities.Photo: Getty ImagesYelena Nikolaeva, medical psychologistThe least traumatic types for a childThe relationship between divorced parents is “excellent comrades” and “cooperating colleagues”, in which parents are able to interact well enough. Continuing contact between former spouses - ardent enemies can cause painful suffering and negatively affect the child. How to be in a situation if the divorce happened and the parents parted as enemies? In a relaxed atmosphere, when you have a good relationship with your child, honestly explain what happens between you and his father. Tell me that you are very upset that Dad says bad about you. Talk to your ex-husband, as his behavior with his son is the continuation of your relationship. They are clearly not finished for him. Be extremely calm and balanced when talking. Pay his attention that by manipulating, he harms his child no less than you. If something he has left for you unsaid, unfinished, try communicating with him to find out what it is and let him put an end. You need to understand that the child has such basic feelings as security, stability, internal security and it comes from parents. And this is what he will carry into society, in future relationships. And if one parent undermines the authority of another, it will necessarily manifest itself in the future in fear, insecurity, aggressiveness. It may be difficult for him to build long-term relationships with women (men), and it can also be different types of destructive behavior. Parents are always an example, a role model. And what does he see? What kind of information gets? It is very important that the child know that mom and dad continue to love him, even if some of them are not always there, that they will always remain for him the support of Nikolaeva, a medical psychologistThe duty of parents is to agree on a commonlines of conduct that both of you support the image of wonderful parents for him, the very best. Talk to your ex-husband about this. You after all have separated as husband and wife, and not as parents of your beloved child. Agree among themselves for his and your future good. Clarify your personal relationships directly. You can not make the child an object of manipulation. It is very painful and traumatic for him. You are the closest people, his support, and it collapses. Imagine what it is to him. You, adults, have the opportunity to change something, to make decisions, to somehow influence circumstances, but he doesn’t. It is very important to help the child accept the situation as it is, so that he will stop reproaching himself, his parents. You need to constantly talk and show the child that he is loved, important and meaningful. A child should not feel emotionally abandoned. Do not bribe a child, but give him time, attention and his love. Provide an active social life so that the child can escape from sad thoughts, communicate with peers. It is important that during the divorce process and after it the parents continue to be parents for him and first of all take into account the interests and feelings of the child. With divorce, a lot changes in the lives of all family members. Try to keep the usual routine for your child. It is best that he continue to go to the same educational institution, meet with relatives on both sides. Leisure will help to cope with stress in the child. Do not leave the child alone with the feelings, communicate with him more, walk. Let your child participate in various sports activities, go to circles. An active social life will help him to escape from negative thoughts, will not allow him to withdraw into himself and increase his self-esteem. If you see that your child has started to bite his nails or suck his fingers, or have noticed aggressive behavior, do not be afraid to seek advice from a child psychologist. difficult life situations, and friends of former spouses break up very rarely, but first of all it is necessary to remember the well-being and emotional security of the child. And this is much more important than scandals and showdown!