- Often the girls are unhappy with appearance, -explains the family psychologist, sexologist Elena Shamova. - And this is understandable: not only that there are problems with the skin, so also the figure takes on a disproportionate form: someone sharply grows chest, someone's arms are elongated, someone has feet two meters ... Joy from reflection in few people experience a mirror. As I joke, 80% of girls in adolescence dream to reduce their waist and increase their breasts.Photo: Getty Images
Method 1. We catch the signal
— Parents can easily “figure out” the problem,if they are attentive to the child. Firstly, children begin to become withdrawn, stop looking into the eyes, hide behind long bangs, baggy, oversized clothes, slouch. This indicates that the child is not feeling well at all. In addition, the child may become withdrawn, sullen. This is how he gives a signal to others: I don’t want to communicate with anyone. It’s time to take action!
Method 2: Talking
— Try to have a heart-to-heart talk.It's good if the child has an older brother or sister, a friend or relative with whom he shares secrets - he may not trust his parents. During the conversation, do not brush off the problem, this will make the situation even worse. Explain that everything that is happening is temporary. This is important because teenagers have a strong categorical nature: since I am so ugly now, it means I will always be like this. Ask him if he has often seen adults with their hands down to their knees?
Method 3. We do not generate an excellent student complex
— Children develop unevenly, and theycomparison begins – I have more here, you have less there… It is especially hard for the only children in the family or those whose parents constantly encourage them to be the best and first (star children). Raise your child so that he is not afraid to lose.
Method 4. Debunking myths
- Role models for girls at this agebecome skinny stars from the covers of glossy magazines. The question clearly arises: why am I not like that? Tell your daughter that not everything is perfect - naturally, there is no such thing as a perfect appearance from birth. All this glossy shine is artificial: Photoshop, tons of makeup... Show your childhood photos or childhood photos of celebrities. It is useful to attend a photo shoot so that the child can watch the make-up artist at work, see how the designer turns an ordinary appearance into a "candy".
Method 5. Do not criticize
- No mockery, jokes or constant"Straighten your back!" The most significant thing you can do is constructive help in eliminating the shortcomings. Such care instills confidence in the child: he is no longer alone with an unpleasant situation. Don't like your teeth? Let's go to the dentist! Pimples? Let's buy medicinal cosmetics. Fat butt? Let's meet with a stylist and choose the right wardrobe. Here you kill two birds with one stone: you help your daughter, and at the same time form her taste, teach her to understand fashion.
Method 6. We accustom to the sport
— What to do with the body?We monitor nutrition, explain to girls the harm of diets, show photos of people with anorexia. We motivate boys with a positive example of their father, films. We start going to the gym. It is especially good if the mother works out with her daughter and, perhaps, her friends, and the boy - with his father and his friends. In this way, children begin to enter the adult gender society. A teenager, participating in the discussion of some topics, begins to open up. If he does not open up, use the fail-safe technique "And this is how it was in my childhood." Parents share their experiences, thereby drawing children to frankness. Another advantage of sports is that it removes the depressive component.
Method 7. Increase self-esteem
— Emphasize your appearance more often (this applies to(mostly girls) and in character (and these are boys) those traits that the teenager is happy with. "What a beautiful braid you have, daughter!" or "Son, you are a real strongman, you helped me carry such a bag. What would I do without you?" Developing an inner adult in a child will also help to increase self-esteem. Entrust important tasks to children, and after them, praise them, explain responsibility for making decisions, the consequences of actions, etc. By the way, sometimes "whims" regarding appearance can be caused by the desire to feel like a baby again, so that mom will pity and coddle them. It is important for children to always feel that adults care about them and their problems. However, even with an imaginary problem, your "it will go away on its own" can hurt very much.