Why do parents stop being cool dudes and hipsters

When people decide to have children, they are not abouttom think. Think about money, about work, how joint leisure will change, plans for vacation. But in fact, you need to think about something else. The fact that the parent is a "dude who is not cool". If now you are an advanced hipster, it will end. And very quickly. And what is really happening to you: you start doing yoga for pregnant women and wear comfortable clothes. If you are a father, then your task is to grow a beard and every day to tell your wife that she is not fat at all.Photo:Then your friends will give you a hipster baby bath and 138 adorable suits with leather jackets for babies, from which your child will grow up in nine days. Nobody will give you a car seat or a year's supply of diapers, no. God forbid, if a gift card falls into the children's store. Then everyone will go to drink martinis and "mimosa", and you will be left alone with the child and the costumes. You imagine that you can continue to lead your hipster lifestyle, you will still be relaxed and easy-going, only with such a small accessory like Paris Hilton's dog in your hands? You can try. There is even a special fashionable Hipster Plus sling. It only costs $ 170 and allows you to carry your baby in a wide variety of positions and pretend it's really a fashion accessory. And you can dress up the child in clothes from Ralph Lauren. Just don't forget to grab the stole. To cover up if you need to feed the baby in public. You will also be exhausted and exhausted by lack of sleep, you will have to slow down all the time and look for somewhere to sit down, because the child burst into tears, vomited or pee, but you can still pretend that your life has not changed. But then the child will stop sitting in the cradle. from Ralph Lauren and will start rushing around the restaurant, knocking over other people's martinis and "mimosas". Your living room is painted in soothing marine colors with plastic of all colors. Your white sofa will never be the same: they will burp and pee on it three thousand two hundred and ninety times, and then you suddenly find yourself cooking dinner, because going somewhere is too troublesome. And yes, you are cooking some semi-finished stuff because you are too tired to hold a knife or stand over the stove without falling asleep. A hot bubble bath becomes a dream. You start to worship your TV, because cartoons distract your precious child from yourself and give you a break. Yes, he looks at the box more than he should, but you don't care. Yes, it's not cool.A photo: GettyImagesOn the most significant change in your status will be the abandonment of your steep wheelbarrow. In return, you will acquire a device that simply screams: "There is no more hope." Yes, I'm talking about minivan. Or the station wagon. Minibus, maybe. Convenient (that for a vile word), comfortable, capacious family car. Some try to deceive destiny, buying jeeps instead of minivans. Like, so no one will notice that you are no longer a cool dude. Ha. Yes you have in your trunk - a folding pot and a supply of wet wipes, and in the back seat a car seat. A stroller instead of a kayak or a bicycle. Who do you want to cheat? Buy a minivan, it's honest. Well, and yet you stop hanging out in clubs and dancing. After all, you need to get up early to collect Tanya in the kindergarten. To school. And even then, when you do not need to do this already, you will wake up early - a habit, you know. I want to go to bed early. And you do not want to dance. "Where are you?" - one day my indigent children wrote indignantly to me. "It's late, and you're not home yet." It was midnight at midnight. I dared to sit out with friends, and the children were shocked - this never happened before. I struggle with myself. I do not allow myself to get into pajamas before 9 pm. Children have grown, but I'm still waiting, when I stop being a parent, I'll cheer up and start living exclusively for my own pleasure. But, it seems, this will not happen. However, I will allow myself to quote Elena Malysheva: "This is the norm!"