Photos: Getty images Usually, children end up in the parent’s bed for several reasons.
- First, parents of a troubled child oftenyou have to get up to go to the nursery and calm your awakened baby. In the end, they take him with them to know that the child is all right and he feels safe.
- Secondly, many children are afraid of being alone and all the time trying to stay overnight with their parents.
So can you sleep with your baby? If so, until what age? Elena Nikolaeva, medical psychologist:
If we talk about infants, then it is convenient for the mothersleep next to each other. Yes, children need to sleep together to get enough mother's warmth in the first months of life. The woman herself is designed in such a way that the maximum concentrations of prolactin, a hormone that leads to milk production, are formed in her body at night during the sucking of the child. And physical contact with the baby only stimulates these processes. It is impossible to overestimate the fact that at night the mother will not have to jump out of bed to the baby, she will sleep better, and therefore, feel better, be less irritable, which will not be slow to affect the baby. If it is not possible to sleep next to each other, then it is worth placing the crib as close as possible so that the child can hear the mother's breathing, feel her smell, heartbeat. After the child turns 6 months old, you can put him to bed separately. Even the smallest child needs his own personal space to form a full-fledged individuality and independence. A baby should have his own crib from the first days of life, even if he still sleeps with his mother. The best age to get used to sleeping separately is closer to 2 years. The fact is that by this time the child already separates himself from his parents, gradually begins to strive for independence. In addition, it is advisable to have time to transfer the child to a separate crib before he starts going to kindergarten. Having gotten used to sleeping separately, the baby will adapt to kindergarten more easily. If you have not had time to accustom the child to sleeping separately, you should not transfer him at the moment when he just starts going to kindergarten. Both events are stressful for the baby. Up to about 4-5 years of age, there are times when the child needs to sleep with his parents (the child is sick, fears, restless sleep at night, frequent awakenings), but this should not be constant. You can put the child to bed with you, then, when he falls asleep, transfer him to the crib or in the morning allow him to lie with the adults. Sleeping with parents all night is not recommended. There is an opinion that sleeping with parents deprives a child of the opportunity to learn to fall asleep independently, and this is an important skill that is necessary in a child's life. Mothers who are overly worried about their baby, do not let them go, are overprotective, constantly feel anxious, are capable of instilling a feeling of anxiety in the child, and he needs to learn to cope with difficulties and fears independently. Your own crib, in which it is safe, cozy and parents are nearby, forms such an experience. It should in no case become a place where the child is punished: "If you disobey, you will go to bed!"
Photo:Getty imagesIf a school-age child still sleeps with his mother, it means that there is something wrong in the parents' relationship. After all, the bed is an intimate area for two. If there is consent in the family, then the parents agree that the child sleeps only in his own crib and follow this rule. If a sufficiently old child sleeps with one of the parents, the other may feel rejected, which can lead to discord in the family. In this case, the child needs to be explained that the parents are two halves and they should sleep together, and the child, when he grows up, will also meet his other half. Co-sleeping with other family members - a grandmother or grandfather, a brother or sister - can also be a problem, because the child also has his own sexuality. It is not the same as that of adults, and it has to develop into a full-fledged one with age, and co-sleeping with adults or other children can overstimulate this process.
A photo: Getty images The main goal of sleep is to sleep and gain strength, and this applies to the whole family: mother, father, child and other children. If dad can't sleep in the same bed with the baby all night, as he fears to crush him, it’s worth giving up the idea of sleeping together. As an alternative to sharing sleep, you can move the nursery to the parent bed and lower its front partition. It turns out that the baby is sleeping separately, but at the same time next to the mother. If the family lives in a one-room apartment, you need to take care of the normal sleep of other children. They may interfere with screaming in the middle of the night a newborn. In this case, the mother is better to take him to sleep to her. Each person and family are individual. Therefore, you yourself must decide what will be better for you. And not only mom should decide, but dad too. His opinion must take into account necessarily. Otherwise, if you ignore it once or twice, your mother will always have to decide everything, and in this case you will not be offended by your husband. See also:.
