Upbringing and development of preschool children: an expert

How to grow a boy from a real man, andnot podkabluchnika and slyuntyaya, Woman's Day found out together with our permanent expert on family relations, psychologist and the head of the training and development center "Temari" Maria Tikhonova.Photo:Getty Images About two years ago I was approached by a mother whose son died ... The boy's death occurred from an overdose of hard drugs in ... a city bardel. He was only 20 years old. Smart, well-mannered, talented. It is not hard to imagine what state the mother was in. She could hardly survive the grief, because during all these years she literally lived as a son. The case, to tell you the truth, is the most academic. In the course of therapy, it turned out that the boy really showed excellent results in his studies since childhood, was always obedient and never defied his mother. By the age of 20, the son lived with his mother and did not show any signs of drug addiction, addiction to fornication. The mother could not believe what had happened and believed that someone had drunk his son and forced him to visit this institution. The investigation found that this was not the first time this young man appeared in such institutions and was often in a deranged state. So what happened? How did it all happen? The mother was so absorbed in her ideas about the magnificence of her son that he could not afford to behave differently in front of her. But as soon as a young man was left alone with the real world, he immediately indulged in pleasures that his parent did not approve of. It was a gesture of independence and resistance, it was a desire to become oneself; unfortunately, he became different as he knew how, his mother did not teach him to be really responsible for his life, as he was too carried away by the world of his fantasies about the ideal son. Of course, in no case can you blame mom for the death of the child. The problem is not in one particular woman, but in our society as a whole. Currently, the consciousness of civilization is enslaved by all kinds of media. People form images of ideal parents in a different way than they did a couple of decades ago. The understanding of what a mother should be is based on the opinions of marketers ... As a result, we have a completely unexpected image. A modern mother is an old-born person, independent of a man, giving birth to a child for herself. In this case, the man leaves for the second or even the tenth plane, and the child becomes the woman's universe. The society welcomes "adult" mothers who, as it believes, are consciously approaching the upbringing of children. They prepare to be a mother in advance, read "smart" psychological literature, prepare their already aging body for such a serious and truly traumatic event - childbirth. Those mothers who gave birth "at the wrong time", that is, early, receive a truly huge share of anger from all sides , including on the part of their parents, older brothers and sisters. After all, they did not act like everyone else, they bothered to fulfill their destiny at the time that Mother Nature herself suggests. Their children are taken away and brought up by a more "intellectual" generation. What is the result?