Upbringing and development of preschool children: an expert

How to grow a boy from a real man, andnot podkabluchnika and slyuntyaya, Woman's Day found out together with our permanent expert on family relations, psychologist and the head of the training and development center "Temari" Maria Tikhonova.A photo: Getty Images About two years ago my mother turned to me, and her son died ... The boy's death came from an overdose of heavy drugs in ... a city bardella. He was only 20 years old. Clever, educated, talented. It is not difficult to imagine the state of the mother. She was struggling with grief, because during all these years she literally lived as a son. Let me tell you the truth, the most academic. In the process of therapy it was found out that the boy really showed good results in his studies from childhood, he was always obedient and never bothered the mother. The son's adolescent age passed, according to the woman, "with a bang" - neither drinking nor drinking, only with good girls . By the age of 20, the son lived with his mother and did not give any signs of drug addiction, addiction to fornication. My mother could not believe in what had happened and believed that his son had been maligned and forced to visit this institution. The investigation found that this young man was not the first time to appear in such institutions and was often in a deranged state. So what happened? How did it all happen? Mother was so absorbed in her ideas about the splendor of her son that he could not afford to behave differently with her. But as soon as the young man remained alone with the real world, he immediately indulged in pleasures, which his parent did not approve of. It was a gesture of independence and resistance, it was the desire to become oneself; unfortunately, he became different as he could, his mother did not teach him to be really responsible for his life, because he was too enthusiastic about the world of his fantasies about the ideal son. Blame my mother for the death of the child, of course, in no case it is impossible. The problem is not in one particular woman, but in our society as a whole. Currently, the consciousness of civilization is enslaved by all kinds of media. People form the images of ideal parents no longer the way it was a couple of decades ago. Understanding about what the mother should be is based on the opinions of marketers ... As a result, we have a completely unexpected image. A modern mother is an old person, independent of a man, who gives birth to a child for herself. The man in this case goes to the second, and even the tenth plan, and the child becomes a woman's universe. The society welcomes the "adult" mothers, who, she believes, are consciously approaching the upbringing of children. They prepare to be a mother in advance, read "smart" psychological literature, prepare their already aging organism for such a serious and really traumatic event - the birth. Those mothers who gave birth "not in time", that is early, receive a truly huge share of anger from all sides , including from their parents, older brothers and sisters. After all, they did not act like everyone else, they bothered to fulfill their mission at a time that Mother Nature herself assumes. Children are withdrawn from them and brought up by a more "intellectual" generation. What is the result in the end?