How to wean a husband swear: tips of a psychologist; if the husband is cursing his wife

How to disaccustom her husband to foul language - tips psychologistPhoto: Getty

When mate is not about chess: why does the husband swear?

Our ancestors believed that a swear wordwill protect evil spirits and add strength. But today, you can get a fine for using foul language in a public place. In order to swear, you may need advice from a psychologist, because the reasons for the passion for foul language often have much deeper roots than just the desire to embellish speech "for the sake of connecting words". If your spouse did not have the habit of swearing before, not everything is smooth in his life. By swearing, he most likely increases the energy potential of his speech. Men are like children, it is difficult for them to cope with emotions. If a baby shows dissatisfaction by crying, an adult man screams and uses foul language. It is worth talking to your husband and finding out what is bothering him: problems at work, domestic troubles, personal experiences?

To whom is mate turned?

When profanity really does creep inspeech rather for a link of words and does not have a specific addressee, perhaps your husband picked up this habit from friends, colleagues at work or from you yourself (watch your vocabulary: how literary is it?) - swearing, like filler words, very easily enters everyday speech if it is constantly on everyone's lips. If swearing comes up when talking about a specific person, perhaps the reason is your spouse's bad relationship with him. But if your husband swears at his wife, and at the same time his speech is generally clean, you should reconsider your relationship, somewhere something does not suit your other half. In any case, no matter what problems arise, you cannot put up with insults!

How to wean a husband to shout and swear: what to do?

There is no consensus among psychologists as to howwean your husband off yelling and swearing, but maybe some of their advice will be useful to you too. Arina Tumakova, family psychologist (Novokuznetsk): “Try to fight fire with fire: he swears at you, and you retaliate with the second. This will “sober up” the swearer – who would like it if their intelligent wife started to speak like a shoemaker?” Be careful, this advice is a double-edged sword. Maybe your husband will really come to his senses. But what if he doesn’t notice? And swearing can easily become part of your everyday speech, and will start flying out of your mouth not deliberately, but unconsciously. Evgeny Shcherbinin, psychologist (Moscow): “Remember the film “Gentlemen of Fortune”? Ask your spouse, if he is really impatient and he is unable to find common synonyms for the swear word that is ready to fly off his tongue, to replace it with “radish” or some other vegetable.” It is not always so easy to follow the speech, and it is unlikely that “radishes” will have time to come to mind in the flow of emotional speech. Katerina Kravchenko, child psychologist (Ufa): “If a man expresses himself in front of children, rest assured that they will quickly enrich their vocabulary with daddy’s words. Have a serious talk with your spouse, convey that this is not normal! The meaning of speech can be conveyed without swearing!” Perhaps, talking is an effective way. Try to stay calm and friendly during the dialogue, but firmly make it clear that such speech is unacceptable. Valentina Nors, psychologist (Kazan): “If your spouse agrees to change but is unable to control his speech, agree that he will not get angry when you start correcting him. Discuss what these corrections will be, and which of them are more acceptable in a particular situation. For example, at home, you can reprimand him verbally for swearing, but in public, your spouse is unlikely to like being scolded for swearing. Then a gesture, a look, a touch with a hand, etc. can help.” And most importantly, do not make a mountain out of a molehill! Swearing is part of the Russian vocabulary, and even the classics did not shy away from including a strong word in their works. There are situations when an obscene word is more appropriate than a dozen commonly used ones. The main thing is that expressing yourself this way does not become an everyday habit, and you can turn a blind eye to one word. Read on: