A photo: GettySpecialists distinguish several age crises in children: 1 year, 3-4 years, 6-7 years. But the greatest difficulties in communicating with the child parents experience in the so-called teenage crisis - from 10 to 15 years. During this period of maturing personality, there often is not enough inner harmony and understanding of oneself, including because of the riot of hormones. There is growing excitement, because of what it can become secretive, closed or, on the contrary, unnecessarily emotional and aggressive. What to do in conflict situations and how to respond to the child's behavior competently, we understand together with the family psychologist Elena Shamova.
Situation 1
10 year old boy watching cartoon, relaxingafter school. They agreed that he would sit down to do his homework in an hour. Time passed, the mother invited the boy to the desk - no reaction, the second time - again no reaction, the third time she came up and turned off the TV. The son reacted violently: he was rude, said that his parents did not love him, and swung at his mother.
Tip
The struggle for power runs like a red line herebetween a parent and a child. The mother tries at all costs to gain the upper hand over the teenager, to do things her way, the boy resists and, not finding other arguments, begins to use verbal aggression (to be rude). Rudeness in this case is his defensive reaction, an attempt to stop the suppression of his own desire. For the mother, instead of demonstrating her superiority, it would be much more effective to turn to her son in a friendly manner and warn him in advance: “Darling, let's pause the cartoon in 10 minutes, study, and then continue watching.”