How to properly educate children - tips

Usually they write about how to raise children correctlymom. The dads in these stories remain in the background. No, they are curtsy, they recognize the importance of the fatherly role. But - in the background. And then we came across 11 parental commandments, compiled by the father of two children, Nikita Ivanov. He posted the rules on his website, and the entire editorial staff of Woman’s Day simply could not pass by - these postulates are painfully beautiful. No, Nikita is not a worldwide luminary of pedagogical science. But he is a practicing parent. Together with his wife Catherine, they are raising their son Leo, who is 2 years and 7 months old, and baby Eva, who is only half a year old.A photo: @ nickivanovru- Before the birth of Leo, I tried to read several books about education, and then somehow I went and went, and it was not so, - told Nikolai. And finally he decided to generalize his parenting experience and share it with all of us. So, let's go. Children do not need to be educated, they will cope. Restrictions should mainly concern the security and personal freedom of others. You can lick the cupboard, pour kefir into your pasta, you can not eat. You can not prevent your father from working, shouting when others are sleeping, you can not. The restrictions should be smaller, they should be as clear and simple as possible. With everything else, let the child experiment freely.Photo: GettyImages2. Punishments must be known in advance and inevitable. In short, completely predictable. An unclear or disconnected causal relationship shakes the nerves of both children and parents. Including the story, when the children's snot and tears so touch the parents that they cancel the punishment. Every now and again. The child will understand that tears "work", and will continue successfully. And further. Parental cries and a fierce expression are not part of punishment, but the symptoms with which an adult needs to run to a psychiatrist. Mom and Dad are always at one. Mom punished, taking the toy, so it was necessary. No, Dad, too, will not return the toy, you will see her tomorrow. Yes, dad loves you, too. And mother. No, you will not see the toy, you know our rules. Yes, you will not do it any more, it's not at all a question, but with a toy you'll play tomorrow. (We recently had a shelf for arrested toys.) Very conveniently, nothing gets mixed up.) 4. The oldest child should never be told that he is an elder and therefore should do this (help, give in, give the most delicious, wait on the sidelines). First, it spoils his childhood and relationships with the younger. Secondly, he should not do anything like this, because he was not born of his own free will. Photo: GettyImages5. The more hysterically and restlessly the child behaves, the calmer and more consistent the adult. Scare children can not ever and nothing. Mom will stop loving, the policeman will take it, the neighbor will come and scold, we'll leave and leave you alone - the whole bottom. I will not explain. I fight for the forced hospitalization of idiots who maim these children. Do not compare. "Masha talks smartly and reads verses from the stool for two years." "Andrew swims better." "Christina does not fight and gets along with everyone." Generally on a fig. Good luck, and hang out there! If you wish children happiness, but not high marks, then for him all this nonsense is not needed. An equalization of others breaks people's brains and self-confidence. A black belt is when you do not even want to say: "You're the best!" Because the "best" is a comparison, yeah :-) 8. Give choices and teach to listen to your desires. Indecisive and unhappy adults grow up from children, for whom all carefully decided in their childhood and did not ask what they wanted. In fact, you can choose almost everything: porridge, toys, a cartoon, a book, clothes, a plan for the weekend. Use it! The choice should be real, and not as in the fictional phrase of Henry Ford: "The color of the car can be anything, provided that this color will be black." To give everything to break and to spoil is also useful - be stocked with what is not a pity. The more a child makes decisions with his head, the better it will be in 20 years. "Do this" does not work. A personal example - gradually begins to work. Love is not part of the deal. Parents love the child not for success, good behavior, justification of expectations (which, in FIG., Expectations? This is another person!) And another such nonsense. They just love him, without conditions. (One should not add the point that children should not be humiliated or beaten and can be put to jail?) - Some of these principles work better for us, others are given with great difficulty. But I see progress. I think in 10 years the list of principles will increase by another 5-6, - Nikita finishes the post. And what do you think? Do you agree? Or are all these just words that are too difficult to follow in practice?