How to Raise Children Properly - Tips

Usually how to raise children properly, they writemother. Dads in these stories remain in the background. No, they are curtseyed, recognize the importance of the father's role. But - in the background. And here we came across 11 parental precepts, composed by the father of two children, Nikita Ivanov. He laid out the rules for himself, and we all could not pass by the whole edition of Woman's Day - it's painful that these postulates are beautiful. No, Nikita is not the world's luminary of pedagogical science. But he is a practical parent. Together with his wife Catherine they raise Lev's son, who is 2 years and 7 months old, and baby Eve, who is only half a year old.A photo: @ nickivanovru- Before the birth of Leo, I tried to read several books about education, and then somehow I went and went, and it was not so, - told Nikolai. And finally he decided to generalize his parenting experience and share it with all of us. So, let's go. Children do not need to be educated, they will cope. Restrictions should mainly concern the security and personal freedom of others. You can lick the cupboard, pour kefir into your pasta, you can not eat. You can not prevent your father from working, shouting when others are sleeping, you can not. The restrictions should be smaller, they should be as clear and simple as possible. With everything else, let the child experiment freely.Photo: GettyImages2.Punishments should be known in advance and inevitable. In short, completely predictable. An unclear or faulty cause-and-effect relationship frays the nerves of both children and parents. Including the story when children's snot and tears touch parents so much that they cancel the punishment. Time after time. The child will understand that tears "work" and will successfully continue. And one more thing. Parental screams and a fierce expression on their face are not part of the punishment, but symptoms that make an adult run to a psychiatrist. 3. Mom and Dad are always in cahoots. Mom punished by taking away the toy, so it was necessary. No, Dad will not return the toy either, you will see it tomorrow. Yes, Dad loves you too. And Mom. No, you will not see the toy, you know our rules. Yes, you will not do it again, no problem at all, but you will play with the toy tomorrow. (We recently got a shelf for seized toys. Very convenient, nothing gets mixed up.) 4. An older child should never be told that he is the older one and therefore must do this and that (help, give in, give the most delicious food, wait aside). Firstly, it spoils his childhood and his relationship with the younger one. Secondly, he does not have to do anything like that, because he was not born first by his own will.Photo: GettyImages5.The more hysterical and restless the child is, the calmer and more consistent the adult is. 6. Children should never be frightened by anything. Mom will stop loving you, the police will take you away, the neighbor will come and scold you, we will leave and leave you alone - complete crap. I will not explain. I advocate for the forced hospitalization of idiots who cripple children with this. 7. Do not compare. "Masha at 2 years old speaks fluently and recites poetry from a stool." "Andrey swims better." "Kristina does not fight and gets along with everyone." In general, it doesn't matter. Good luck, and hang in there! If you wish your children happiness, and not high grades, then all this nonsense is not needed for them. Looking up to others breaks people's brains and self-confidence. A black belt is when you don't even want to say: "You are the best!" Because "the best" is a comparison, yeah :-) 8. Give choices and teach to listen to your desires. Indecisive and unhappy adults grow up from children for whom everything was carefully decided in childhood and they were not asked what they wanted. In fact, you can choose almost everything: porridge, toys, a cartoon, a book, clothes, a plan for the weekend. Use it! The choice should be real, and not like in the fictitious phrase of Henry Ford: "A car can be any color, provided that this color is black." Allowing everything to be broken and spoiled is also useful - stock up on what you do not mind. The more a child makes decisions with his head, the better off he will be in 20 years. 9. "Do it this way" - does not work. Personal example - gradually begins to work. 10. Love is not part of the deal. Parents love a child not for successes, good behavior, meeting expectations (what the hell expectations? This is a different person!) and other such nonsense. They simply love him, unconditionally. (Can we not add the point that children cannot be humiliated or beaten and that they can be sent to prison for this?) - Some of these principles work better for us, others are more difficult. But I see progress. I think that in 10 years the list of principles will increase by another 5-6, - Nikita concludes his post. And what do you think? Do you agree? Or are all these just words that are too difficult to follow in practice?