Life of a mother of a child diagnosed with hyperactivity

If you knew how much power really isit is supposed to teach a little person the most basic things. What others are learning intuitively is a process that stretches out indefinitely. I remembered, but suddenly I forgot - it's not cheating. This is indeed so.

Energizer with a motor

My child is not like everyone else. He is hyperactive.And this is not just a play on words, no. This is an official diagnosis. ADHD – attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Let me clarify: it happens that a child is inattentive, restless, but at the same time phlegmatic or melancholic by nature. This is probably the simplest option. We were “unlucky”. In addition to Timofey’s restlessness, there is also a violent explosive temperament. Emotional instability, you know. You won’t notice it at first. Ten minutes after talking to him, you will politely say that he is very… lively and talkative. In another half hour, you will probably have a headache. And you are unlikely to want us to keep you company somewhere for a long time again.Photo:GettyImagesI now understand very well that not every loud and disturbing child is poorly brought up. I want others to understand this too. Believe me, we, the mothers of such children, are well aware that our "energizers" most likely prevent your quiet little ones from watching a play, listening to a tour, playing with an animator, studying. There are so many activities for a children's group. But they also want all this. How will they learn the rules of society if they are isolated from this society? But in fact, it is terrible when your child is inconvenient for everyone. When he, having broken free from their hands, runs around the assembly hall, disrupting the kindergarten holiday in honor of March 8. He goes into a tailspin, because there are a lot of people in the hall. He sees the crowd, and he "jams". He screams, jerks everyone and almost walks like a wheel. Ostap is carried away... And someone's grandmother says loudly and discontentedly: "Well, where is this boy's mother!" And then you leave the hall, and you try to calm the bitterest tears in your life from the fact that he did not read the prepared poem.

Live in suspense

Do you know what's really the hardest thing?Control yourself. Constantly keep in mind that he didn’t do it on purpose, that he can’t do it any other way. When you live like you’re on a seesaw. For a week, two, three, everything is fine. But you live like a compressed spring. Because you understand: it won’t last long. And then at some point you relax. And you start getting angry. At the fact that for the hundred thousandth time he doesn’t remember how to put on his socks correctly. At the fact that he can’t keep quiet for at least thirty seconds. At the fact that he instantly breaks into hysterics at the simplest words. At the fact that he can climb into the arms of a person he’s known for five minutes. And you break down. This is the most dangerous thing. Because such children instantly “mirror” your state. While you are affectionate with him, he is affectionate with the whole world. One big quarrel – and a little devil enters your son. And that means that for at least two weeks your home will be filled with shouting, quarrels and scandals.A photo: frame from the movie "Difficult Child" - Tim, why are you behaving this way? - This is the last cry in my heart. "We just discussed with you what to fall into tantrums - it's wrong, you need to learn to restrain yourself." Why are you doing this again, just three minutes? Is it really so difficult to control yourself?! - Mom, it's so it turns out ... - He already has eyes full of sincere tears, his lower lip trembles. And at that moment I'm blowing away like a balloon. Yes. It is itself. He wants. He tries. He can not. Therefore, simple laughter usually turns into a stormy, not at all calming fun, and out of it - immediately into tears. "The parts of the brain that are responsible for self-control are not ripe," the neurologists explained to me. "So he's so emotionally unstable. Lord, when will they finally be ripe." I will never forget how once Timothy came from the garden and asked: "Mom, I'm strange?" - Why strange, son? "The lump who got up in his throat was not prevented from saying what to say-to breathe." "I see that I'm not like everyone else. I am doing my best. But I can not. Four and a half years. Four! And a half! Charles! In four and a half years the little man, who is supposed to rejoice in a happy childhood, asks me why he is not like everyone else! He is waiting for me to calm him down. And I reassure. How else? And somewhere in the pit of your stomach, the fear of the school sucks. Where there will be no mother near and where "strangeness" is fraught with trouble.Photo: GettyImagesP. S.In fact, everything is fine with us. My child is a genius. No, I don’t say so, and I don’t think so. But this is what the adults he has time to communicate with tell me. A teacher’s assistant in a kindergarten. A nanny in a children’s room. A salesperson in a store. If something has decreased, it means that something has increased. My son’s brain works exactly on this principle. At five, he has been reading fluently for two years already, although no one taught him this, he has a photographic memory, he handles gadgets better than me and counts in thousands. This is called compensatory development. Healthy areas take on the functions of damaged ones. He is a smart, cheerful, kind, loving and beloved boy. He is well-read, he is polite, he will always help. He will call you by affectionate names and words. No matter how old you are, you will be Tanechka, Katenka, Natashenka to him. And we will outgrow this problem.