Larisa Surkova: how to reassure the child before the USE

I remember in the senior year a physics teachershe told us: "Do not pass the exams, you'll go to the vocational school for hairdressers." And nothing, that the salary of the most simple hairdresser is two to three times more than hers. But then they drove us into the head that only losers are going to the hairdressers. Therefore, failing to pass the exam meant putting a cross on your life. By the way, a few of my classmates, having studied with economists, eventually earn a living with a manicure. No, I do not call for sabotage of higher education. But too much pressure is exerted on him by graduates. And first of all in schools. My daughter's daughter finishes 11th grade this year. This is a very clever, talented girl. He is fond of computer science, he does not bring three in the diary. But even she is worried that she will not surrender the Unified State Examination: "I'm afraid that I will not do that I will not justify your hopes," she says to her mother. - I'm afraid that I will fail you. "Of course, a friend tries to calm her daughter, but it's difficult, because then the girl goes to school, and because of the USE this is hysteria.Photo: Getty ImagesLarisa Surkova, psychologist:— Every spring, among teenagers aged 16–17, there is a sharpThe number of suicide attempts is growing. There are also fatal outcomes, says psychologist Larisa Surkova. - The reason is known to everyone: "they crushed me before the Unified State Exam." Happy is the person for whom these "three happy letters" mean nothing.

How to calm the child before the exam

1.If the Unified State Exam result is important to you, then you need to prepare your child at least a couple of years in advance. 2. Do not humiliate your child. Do not use the phrases “if you don’t pass, don’t come home”, “if you fail the exam, I won’t let you come home”. I once heard a mother confess with the phrase “he is no longer my son, I am ashamed of him”. Never say that! 3. Keep an eye on your child. If he eats little, is silent, does not talk to you, has withdrawn into himself, sleeps poorly - this is a reason to sound the alarm. 4. Talk to your child constantly. Make plans for his future. Is he going to go to college? What does he expect from life. 5. Talk to him not only about his studies. Sometimes, at my request, parents keep communication diaries. There, all phrases boil down to the question: “What’s going on at school?” 6. In any suspicious situations, speak frankly. Talk about your feelings, that you love him and that he is very important to you. Talk to your child about the value of life. If you see suspicious symptoms, immediately take them to a psychologist, lock them at home, even forced treatment will do. 7. Talk about your experience. About your experience of passing exams, about your failures. 8. Glycine and Magne B6 have never hurt anyone. A course of treatment for 1-2 months will normalize the child's nerves. 9. Prepare together! When my daughter Masha and I were preparing for the Unified State Exam in literature, I forgot the thought "this is complete nonsense." Then the only thing worse was the candidate's minimum in philosophy. 10. Studying is important, but friends, family, life and health are priceless. Have a conversation once about the importance of life. Tell them that there are things much more terrible than failing the Unified State Exam. Give specific examples. 11. Provide maximum support to your child, because at school children are often under a lot of pressure.