At a new stage, the adolescent needs to reconsiderattitude towards the world and close people, build yourself anew, and parents need to help the child in his becoming: to be close, keeping distance, to love in spite of everything. We chose for you the most useful from the book of the publishing house Clever "Make our children happy. Teenagers. " The experts who wrote the book were the best children's and teenage psychologists.
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He does not keep order and does not clean up the room
Not only does the teenager not clean hisroom - he demands that we also not wipe the dust on his desk, not stack the scattered disks and papers. Perhaps he even said that he would like to install a lock on his door so that strangers do not enter without knocking. "Strangers" are, first of all, parents. WHAT TO DO? Recognize the child's primacy in this piece of space. Yes, now you will have to discuss the possibility of cleaning here, rearranging something on the shelves or replacing the furniture. Ask him to vacuum his room when it is convenient for him. And it would be good if he found the time to sort out his desk and wipe off the dust, which does not benefit his equipment. As for the need to knock, make it a rule even before the child himself formulates it. But ask him to knock on your door, too.
He's messing around
Why do teenagers always slack off?And why are we so irritated by their laziness? Hormonal changes during puberty are accompanied by a constant feeling of fatigue: you can’t grow fifteen centimeters in a year and not feel tired. But the teenager is also idle because he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He is no longer interested in children’s games, and he hasn’t found any new hobbies yet. His parents’ activities (work, housework, entertainment) seem stupid to him. He doesn’t want to be like them or be an obedient puppet. But instead of getting angry, why don’t we put some things off for a while ourselves? WHAT TO DO? Inactivity gives a schoolchild the opportunity to think and thus better understand himself and his life. Let him lie around in peace, but don’t let him do it too often. There are obligations that cannot be neglected, otherwise you can hopelessly fall behind in school or become a truly lazy person.
He lies
Teenagers aged 13-14 are trying to escape fromparents, because they feel that it is time to become independent. Hence the sudden appearance of minor deceptions and omissions. WHAT TO DO? Nothing can be done, adolescence means the beginning of “opaque” relationships with children, and you have to come to terms with this so as not to slow down the natural process of growing up. Another matter if we are talking about serious deception. Forging a signature on a document or money stolen from your wallet are offenses so serious that it is necessary to decisively intervene, clarify your position and control the teenager for some time. Think about the possible reasons for the deception. Is he having difficulties at school? Does he have enough pocket money? Do you give him enough freedom? Most often, children are forced to lie to their parents, who themselves can let down, deceive the child or do not give him any opportunity to show independence. Some teenagers constantly lie, inventing an exciting life for themselves. It is also possible that “shameful” details of family history are hidden from them. Unconsciously, teenagers reproduce the behavior of their parents. And then you should be the first to start telling the truth.
He comes home late
This is not the first time your teenager has returned.home later than expected without warning you. WHAT TO DO? It is the parents' job to set the rules and insist on their observance, and it is the teenager's job to tirelessly negotiate them and get around the prohibitions. Accept this as a given, and all that remains is to clearly define the time no later than which the teenager can return home. Sometimes, as an exception, he or she can return later. If your son or daughter is 15 minutes late, do not nitpick. But still remind them of the rules to avoid misunderstandings later. If he or she is two hours late, note this and punish him or her - for example, forbid the next party.
He swears and hamit
High school students try to use swear wordsto hurt parents, to shock them, to get them mad, to measure your power over them and to confirm your own emotional independence from them. But whatever the reasons behind the child's behavior, parents should not allow themselves to be insulted. WHAT TO DO? Your task is to draw a line between words and emotions in order to maintain a dialogue with the teenager. Do not respond to shouting with a shout, rudeness with rudeness, refuse to continue the conversation in such a tone, suggest thinking about what is happening and returning to the discussion later. And especially do not cross into someone else's territory by using youth slang: the language of teenagers is not for adults.
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