Even if men dream of playing football out loudwith his own son, most of them see it in the far-distant future, sometime in many years. Women, for the most part, cannot imagine a full-fledged family without children. And let's not forget about the biological clock: there is actually not much time left for us to bear children. Why do men take such a sour look as soon as it comes to a child?

He is afraid of radical changes.

Actually, the defining words here are “hefears". And he has his reasons for that. Perhaps he was just beginning to enjoy life: behind school and high school, work or business, they are barely starting to bring him their sweet fruits. Life is good when it's your own master! You can go mountaineering, canoeing all the surrounding rivers, you can go to GOA in winter and go around all the discos that you have enough strength for. You can read, eat, sleep, hang out, make new acquaintances, enjoy socializing, sex, and finally. A child in relation to this is like a leaden cloud on a clear summer day. On that day, as you bring from the maternity hospital a squeaking envelope with a bow, your cheerful youth will end. Next - only boredom, only responsibilities, only responsibility. What to do: look for positive examples of paternity in your environment. There are also families who quietly travel and have fun with their children. And judging by the fact that new children appear in these families, they also have sex. And the holy right of a man to communicate with friends (on hiking trips, baths on Saturdays and so on) can be guaranteed even through a notarized document or a clause in the marriage contract.

He is afraid of material costs

The proverb about the hare, which God mustHe will send a lawn, does not at all call to sit back and wait for manna from heaven. Naturally, funds will be needed to raise a new person. It is not too fun to plan a child when you live in a rented apartment or on the living space of your parents and are interrupted by odd jobs. The little one needs his own corner, he needs a registration, he needs regular sums for maintenance. However, even people without obvious material problems sometimes do not hurry with their parents. Is money too much? Why do we need a child if we cannot change the car every year because of him? What should we do? Learn to count and plan. Literally make a business plan with a calculator in your hands. Calculate the "how much a child costs" and the monthly amount of your income, the estimated amount of your childcare benefit. Prove to the future father that you are practical, do not soar in the clouds and are ready to tighten the strap, if necessary.

He is afraid that you will change

A man does not want the air fairy, with whichhe is so good now, turned into a worried, heavy aunt with a dull look. And he would not be afraid of this if he had not seen such examples before him. He also does not want to lose your attention and care because of some noisy baby. The end of romance? The end of beauty? The end of the joys of intimate life? What to do? Search and give positive examples. In "Instagram", for example, apparently invisible super-chemokek accounts, which in terms of appearance will give odds to some childless.

He does not want children from you

Sometimes a woman fascinated by her ownillusions, takes wishful thinking. Maybe it only seems to you that everything with you and your young man is serious and for the rest of your life, and in fact you are just a passing option for him? And that is why he stops all your dreams aloud about your general continuation? Is there love between you? More precisely, does he have love for you? What to do? Speak. It is necessary to talk with a person and listen to him carefully. It would be nice to listen when he talks about his plans for family life, about what he sees as the mother of his children. And if the description does not seem to be on you, you can ask a direct question: are we not wasting time in vain, staying together? If you do not have a dream to become a single mother, do not prepare this guy a "surprise" in the form of a test with two stripes.

He is a pathological neatist

We will not deny: A small child is a source not only of emotion and joy, but also of dirt. He writes, smears diapers, spits vegetable puree, scatters toys, grabs everything with sticky fingers, draws felt-tip pens on wallpaper. This is a little chaos. And if the future dad hates the mess? If he is always on the shelves and nowhere dust particles? Or he just loves, when you laid everything on the shelves and removed all the dust particles, has the right, but why produce a creature that tries to break comfort? What should I do? To remind the future father that it has become much easier to raise a child nowadays: disposable diapers are available, dishwashers, washing vacuum cleaners, wet wipes, and a lot of wonderful things. Look on the Internet for options for perfectly organized, well-structured children's rooms. Prove him your ability to quickly and effectively deal with the disorder - can such a scrub have such a dirty child?

He had an unhappy childhood

An example of your own family plays a huge role inrepresentation of a man of his future fatherhood. If the boy grew up, seeing the dissatisfied faces of his parents every day, if there was discord in his family and he was constantly made to understand that he was an unwelcome burden for his mother and father, if he was constantly compared with others and not in his favor, it would be difficult for him later such a “baggage” to represent yourself as a happy family man. Why produce unhappy people, then God forbid with their own problems to cope ... What to do? Be patient. Learn to listen and empathize. Whatever the parents of the husband, it’s not for you to judge them. Become its "quiet pier". Let him see that you are always happy to him, not inclined to criticize or compare him with someone. Perhaps you are his chance to finally create the ideal family he dreamed of as a child, and give his children what he himself did not receive as a child. If it is difficult, ask your husband to turn to a psychologist.

He is afraid that he will not be able to become a good father.

In order to truly want to becomeparent, you need to do this psychologically, emotionally. It is necessary to acquire some experience, to see life in its various manifestations, to accumulate personal knowledge and impressions, to reach such a moment of fullness, when you are ready not only to take, but also to give. If a young man, even a married man, does not burn with the desire to become a father, it means that he still does not feel ready to become “the main thing in the pack”. So, emotionally, he himself is still a “child”, and children should not have children. What should I do? Probably, you have to help him achieve emotional maturity. However, it is worthwhile to do this gently, as a woman wisely, not allowing the ticking of a biological clock to drown out the voice of reason. Remember. That your man is also a living person, and not a robot to fulfill your desires, not a live ATM or a sperm donor. Do not push, do not demand. If you wish your child a good father, bring up this father yourself - gradually, patiently. Only you can touch such strings in his soul, so that he himself will ask you to become the mother of his children.

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