How to explain to the child that you are ill

Immediately make a reservation, first, the speech in our articlewill go about a small malaise, cold or fatigue. When you want to lie in silence and peace. If you are seriously ill, you have long treatment in the hospital or you returned home after the operation - this is the topic of a separate article. Secondly, in a constructive manner with children it is worth talking if they are from one and a half to two years old or more. Young children are still "delegated" to senior aides or other family members. Simply because behind small children it is necessary to observe permanently and hardly it is necessary to leave them even for half an hour without supervision. So, what to do if you can not do anything? 1. Tell the truth! From an early age, children should understand that mother can be sick, tired and has the right to rest and to do her own business. Both father and other relatives should feel free to show concern for you and encourage this care in children: "Today my mother is sick, so we will go to the site without her. Let my mother lie down and rest. "Photo: Gettyimages.comIf you are alone at home with your children, tell them that you are very tired and do not feel well. Explain that when children are sick, you take care of them, but today they need to take care of you. “I start the conversation with the fact that they are already adults and understand everything, - this motivates the children very strongly,” shares the mother of the twins, Irina, “they always understand me and take responsibility for what I ask them to do. And be sure to tell them that when you have a rest, you will definitely play with them. ”2. Come up with distracting maneuvers For children 2-4 years old, the attention of the mother is a necessary condition for the formation of personality and all-round development. But they may well occupy themselves for some time. However, at this age, the requirements not to run, not make noise, not shout are unlikely to bring the desired result. Kids can feel "punished" and only withdraw. It would be more correct to organize their leisure time, direct energy in the right direction. In this case, by the way, there will be some kind of creative sets, coloring books, constructors, puzzles, which are usually kept out of the reach of children. That way, when you need rest, you can keep your kids interested in something new. Of course, this is not for long, but still you will have time. 3. Do not issue ultimatums! “I believe that mom has the right to admit that she is tired or sick. So take it and say directly: "Children, I'm tired." Nothing terrible will happen, believe me, the world will not collapse. But the children will understand that their mother is not an iron man and not a superwoman, and they will learn compassion, independence, in the end, entrepreneurship (they will figure out how to cook dinner or just how to please a tired mother), ”writes mother of many children Tamara in her blog. And this makes rational sense. When, if not in childhood, should we instill independence, empathy and compassion? If such simple truths are not explained in preschool age, there is a risk that children will never understand them or until they become parents themselves.Photo: Gettyimages.comImportant! It is necessary to speak calmly and kindly about your unhappiness. No demonstrative "I have the right to rest ?!" or the accusatory "Ah you, ungrateful!". Such attacks of sympathy can not be achieved. Your poor health is not a heavenly punishment for your household. After all, you want to awaken in them a desire to help, and not a sense of guilt for what you feel bad. If you can not fulfill what you promised the child, for example, to walk in the park or go to the store for a long-awaited toy, you need to say that you will do this is another day, when you will be better. 4. Play in the taleV pedagogy has the concept of "zone of proximal development." This term was introduced by the brilliant psychologist and educator of the 1930s, Lev Semenovich Vygotsky. The zone of immediate development is those tasks that the child performs uncertainly. To successfully deal with them, he needs the help of an adult. In other words, we first show, then do together, then we control and only then we trust this matter to the child on our own. It is very important to follow this sequence of steps and do not jump over them. It is not necessary to send a child to an activity with which he is not yet familiar, can not cope, arguing that he is "already an adult". For example, you can not "delegate" a child to cook porridge, if he does not yet know how to use the stove. What to do? For memory comes a children's tale about porridge. Somehow my grandmother got sick, but my granddaughter asked me to play. "Well," said the grandmother, "only I will speak, but you will do everything as I tell you." And then the granddaughter received a step-by-step instruction: get the bowler, pour milk and so on. The result was a delicious cereal. This fairy tale is a beautiful illustration of how a child, with the passive participation of an adult, gets a new experience. Write your fairy tale for children, give them this little adventure. 5. Stay "lazy mom" Surely you know families where grown up children think that mom must do everything, despite her illnesses, pains, fatigue. And the sick mother, with the temperature at the stove, while the rest of the family are lying on the couch, buried in the gadgets: "If the mothers were a little more lazy and did not do everything for the children, the children would have to become more independent," - believes Anna Bykova, a teacher and author of the book "An Independent Child, or How to Become a" Lazy Mother ". In this case, "laziness" is a tactical move that gives the child a carte blanche in the manifestation of independence.Photo: Gettyimages."Of course, it's easier to wash the dishes yourself than to wipe the water off the floor after a five-year-old child has washed it. And then, when he falls asleep, they will still have to wash the plates, since they will initially retain fat and dishwashing detergent. If you allow the three-year-old to water the flowers, then here too, not everything will turn out right away. A child can overturn a flower, spill the earth, can pour a flower, and water will flow through the edge of the pot. But just so, through actions, the child learns to coordinate movements, understand the consequences and correct mistakes, "Anna writes in her book. Important! Allowing the child to be independent, first of all take care of its safety. All sharp objects, medicines and wires should remain out of reach of babies. Conclusion One talented mother once said: "For the happiness of children, find your recipe for happiness. Do not sacrifice and extreme fatigue. Do not forget to take care of yourself. " Thinking about yourself is thinking about your loved ones. After all, they need a calm, healthy, full-strength mom, and not driven tired and discontented grumbling. " That's why you need to take care of yourself, your mood and your health. And may everything be fine with you!