How to mother raise a son: three stages
Boys are amazing creatures.They are affectionate and at the same time prickly, stubborn, mischievous, active. Sometimes it seems that they literally sparkle from the energy that overflows them, and at the same time it is impossible to make them do something useful.
It can be difficult for mothers to understand how to raise their childrensonPhoto: Getty Raising a son is a complex process with its own characteristics. Boys mature in leaps and bounds, sometimes changing dramatically even within one year. Psychologists and educators distinguish three stages of their development and, accordingly, three different parenting strategies. Stage 1 - up to 6 years. This is the time of greatest closeness with the mother. Moreover, it has been noted that boys are even more affectionate and attached to their mothers than girls. And if during this period the baby does not have enough communication with men, then difficulties may arise later: disobedience, ignoring the demands of the father, failure to recognize his authority. Husbands, as a rule, blame their wives for this, who raised a "mama's boy", but they should blame themselves for shifting all the worries about their son onto the shoulders of the mother. Stage 2 - 6-14 years. This is the period of the boy's entry into the man's world. At this time, the main features of the male character and male type of behavior are formed. The desire to dominate is typical for this age. This normal male need causes many unpleasant moments for the mother. After all, her son has turned from a kind, obedient and affectionate baby into a stubborn bully, and often a rude person. And it is at this time that the father or another authoritative man should demonstrate the correct male behavior, including respect and tenderness for the woman-mother. Stage 3 14-18 years. A period of active physiological restructuring of the body, the awakening of sexuality and, in many ways, the aggressiveness associated with it. But at this time, a worldview, an attitude to life, to people, and self-esteem are also formed. The role of the mother, her communication with her son, and her methods of upbringing should change as the boy grows up. You cannot expect that a 12-year-old teenager will hug with the same desire as a 3-year-old child. And the mother’s attempts to impose this type of behavior on him will only irritate him.
How to raise a son
Relationships between mothers and their growing sonsoften resembles a protracted battle. Moreover, the more the mother insists on her own, the more disobedient the son becomes. But, you must admit, it is difficult to be independent and obedient at the same time, to be self-confident and to obey unquestioningly. What should be done to raise a real man?
It's not easy for a mother to raise her son, especially after 14 years. Photo: Getty
- Timely notice the age-related changes of the child and try to behave in accordance with his age, and better slightly ahead of him.
- Do not lose emotional contact with the son. It is he who will keep the relationship of love and mutual concern for life. Emotional contact is manifested in the interest in the boy's problems, in his desire to support him, to help him cope, and not to blame him for being rokhla, stubborn and lazy.
- Remember that a man is needed to raise a son. Ideally, this is the father, but fathers are different, and not all of them can serve as a standard of behavior. Moreover, women often raise a child without a husband. In this case, the uncle, friend, grandfather, coach in the sports section, etc. can be a role model.
- It is necessary to cultivate independence and responsibility for one’s decisions and actions in a child – this is an integral feature of a man’s character.
There is, of course, no single recipe for raising boys.No. But besides the general principles, there is one very good piece of advice. Raise your son so that he becomes the "man of your dreams", so that he has those qualities that you consider important and significant in men.
