First good news: the number of those who believe that their own child for another offense can safely attach a belt, over the past four years decreased by 13 percent. If in 2013 to apply corporal punishment 45 percent of respondents of the Levada Center were ready, then in 2017 - 32 percent. And yet it is almost a third of our vast country. Expert Woman's Day, Candidate of Psychology, Associate Professor Natalia Iskra, a practicing psychologist, a specialist in the relationship between a child and parents, is sure that it is ... the helplessness of adults who are unable to convey to their children the necessary information differently.
A photo: Getty Images- Any corporal punishment inflicts harm on a teenager, sometimes irreparable, - Natalia Iskra considers. - Most often their parents are beaten by parents, who were also beaten in their childhood, - such a chain reaction is going on. Corporal punishment, as a rule, is used by those who are not able to convey something to the child calmly, in conversation, without additional means of influence. There are situations when physical punishment occurs spontaneously: for example, the author of these lines is somehow mother strongly put her hand on the fifth point for a dangerous overtaking of the road in the stream of cars. And what's wrong with that? But the basic rules of road safety are assimilated for life, and how can such a slap be offended by the mother if she was only afraid for her child and did it clearly from strong experiences? -In this situation, the child subconsciously justifies the mother because she does not want to associate herself a close person with something bad, "explained the psychologist. - If this is a one-time event, then the child's psyche will not be harmed. But if this happens regularly, then it is about the helplessness of parents. So, the mother can not cope with her emotions and shows weakness right at her child, which is wrong. Subsequently, she and the child will inject an incorrect behavioral model in life. What then, if not with a belt or bare hands, affect the adolescent? Natalia Iskra believes that verbal abuse in this case is just as unacceptable. "For any child, it is equally bad for any humiliation - both verbal and physical," the expert stresses. She is also against the most severe, in the opinion of many parents and their children, Internet or tablet, or better, both, for some long time. - To deprive a child of access to the Internet or a loved device is nothing more than manipulation or blackmail, "explains our expert. - It is better to educate not by the system of punishments, but on the contrary, by means of rewards: it is necessary to inspire the child that it is good, and when behaving well, it is even better. And no belt is needed. Natalka Spark follows these rules: she, by the way, has two children. The oldest son, 15 years old, the youngest, daughter, two years old. "When I need to show that my children are behaving badly, I can offend them, get angry or even raise my voice, but no more," assures the woman. - I do not beat them at all, I do not take away anything from them and, importantly, I do not stop talking with them, as some parents practice. And how do you punish your children?
- I give them vitamin P
- I forbid using a computer
- I put under house arrest
- I read lectures, i.e. I admonish you to let the true
- I explain in a human way
- No, it's useless
- Other (write in the comments)
Voted: 84And how do you punish your children?
- I give them a vitamin P8.3%
- I forbid to use a computer15,5%
- I put under house arrest1,2%
- I read lectures, i.e. I instruct on the true 23.8%
- I explain in a human way 36.9%
- No, it's useless4,8%
- Other (write in the comments) 9.5%
Voted:84It is interesting that another major sociological organization in the country, the All-Russian Public Opinion Research Center (VTsIOM), also released a report today, on Children's Day, which shows that older generations used moralizing more often than younger parents for the purposes of upbringing - 83 percent. Woman's Day asked one of the most famous representatives of the older generation, Boris Grachevsky, artistic director of the children's film magazine "Yeralash", in whose issues children were given a lot of life lessons in one way or another. - We should not give moralizing, but rather cultivate morality in the character of a small citizen of the country, - Boris Grachevsky suggested to Woman's Day. - Sometimes mom and dad should slightly toughen their answer to their child, but in no case be cruel. The main thing is to remember not about punishments, but about the fact that children need to be first of all captivated by learning, science, art, and develop their talents. Then no one will have to be punished.
