Errors in the education of children: a male look

From time to time all parents ask themselves: "How do I want to see my child when he grows up?" I have an answer to this question: I want my daughter to grow up first and foremost a free person.Photo: Getty Images

Whatever amuses a child

When my wife and I had Eva and we allWe started traveling together, and I began to pay more attention to European children and their parents. And I realized how they are very different from Russian children. A Western child can sit on the floor of a commuter train, scream at the top of his lungs, hang upside down on a horizontal bar. And mom and dad won’t say a word to him, but will continue looking at their smartphone or chatting with friends. I’m sure that this is not indifference, like, whatever the child is having fun with, as long as it doesn’t bother me. This is their principled position. Parents from Russia are usually outraged by such behavior of European children. “They don’t know how to behave at all. I would give mine a kick in the ass!” whispers a Russian mother in the ear of her nodding husband. By the way, after one incident, my wife also considers European children ill-mannered. Once in Spain, we were walking with our daughter on a playground where mostly locals were playing (because we were staying with friends, and not in the epicenter of a resort town). The kids were making noise and running from one ride to another. And then one of the boys came up to the swing where Eva was sitting and sat down next to her, butt to butt. My daughter thought it was impudence and left. My wife, naturally, thought that the little girl had been kicked out and was also upset. And the mother of the "hooligan" just stood aside and smiled. If such a situation had happened in Russia, the boy's mother would have immediately shamed him. When we walk with Eva on a playground in Russia, the clucking of mother hens over their children does not stop for a minute: "Don't shout!", "Don't run!", "Don't go there!", "Be more collected!" The child cannot take a step without running into another shout.Photo: Getty Images

Less scope, more freedom

We come up with a bunch of unnecessary restrictions ourselveswe cultivate complexes in our children that will stay with them for life. If my child does not want to hold my hand, but wants to run ahead, what is wrong with that? What is so terrible if he rolls in the sand? Why, if she wants to step in a puddle, should I lecture her? The only time I harshly pull my child up is if she does something that will threaten her life and health, for example, climbs onto the windowsill and tries to open the window or runs out onto the roadway. Otherwise, there are no problems. I really do not think that anything I listed is bad parenting. A child should get his own bumps and bruises. For me, there is nothing terrible if he falls and breaks his nose. He will be able to draw the right conclusions himself, and my job is to push the child to them, without imposing my adult opinion. Unfortunately, our society and social institutions like to drive people into boxes. Kindergartens and schools are especially zealous in this matter – it seems they set themselves the task of raising obedient and equal citizens! Therefore, we, parents, should first of all be more tolerant of the little person who is just beginning to learn about this world.