Do not get off the mark
Why do you need a child? He was not born to make the life of his parents happy. The task of us, parents, is to make sure that the child can exist independently and safely. It is important that he himself could control himself, otherwise they will be governed by others. And it is naive to think that these others will always be you. We want our child to be able to hold a blow and stand firmly on his feet? Hence, we need to provide him not only the opportunity to develop and gain new knowledge, but also the ability to apply this knowledge in life.
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Encourage experiments
Live by the principle "Do you want to do well - do ititself "is very convenient. You do not need to rinse the dishes and collect broken pieces, you do not have to throw out a new sweater, burnt by inexperienced ironing, the food will be exactly edible, and the products will be bought necessary and in the required quantity. Sometimes just put yourself in the place of the child. What will he do when he is in a pioneer camp without a mom for a whole month? And when will he go to the collective farm with other students? Will he be able to take care of himself and others if he goes with friends to barbecue? And what will happen if you have to study in another city and in the future - about God! - he is waiting for life in the student dormitory? Would not it be too late to learn to sew on buttons, fry eggs and think about how to live on a scholarship for a month? At this age, your child will need to learn quite different things: the ability to adapt in a new social environment, and not the ability to peel potatoes and iron clothes. With basic life skills, a child at any age will not look distracted when separated from parents. He does not need to look for someone stronger and smarter than himself, to stick to informal leaders, to make compromises, just not to feel like a helpless loss.
Let the child solve his problems himself
Pity is a bad helper in education. If a person is constantly regretting, solving for him all the problems, the only thing he will take out of it is a wild mixture consisting of complexes of the victim and his chosenness. You yourself, how do you feel about your friends, whom the whole world needs something? They grow up just from such zasyusyukannye children. And then they suffer all their lives because the conditions of life are inappropriate: the partner does not understand, the bosses impose impossible tasks, the problems arise well themselves, but they do not want to decide themselves, and their own children are beaten by the hands ... And is there anything you can do about it? To bow under the blows of fate and patiently wait for it to become more supportive. If you want your child to become an adult, know how to find a way out of any situation, show him in childhood how it's done. Do not be afraid to regularly leave him alone with the solution of his childhood problems. Imagine that the ability to cope with difficulties is a muscle that can only be trained by regular training.
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Stop all the prohibitions
"Shut up, when adults say!"," Do not touch, and then you'll break! "," The nose is not ready to express its opinion! "," I know better what you need! "The child is a very trained and very loyal creature. And yet this is a very trusting little man, who never even imagines that Mom-Dad can be wrong. Parents for a small child are a form of God's existence, and their word for him is not just a law, but the truth in the last instance. Children perfectly master the lessons. "Acting is bad, it carries danger, loss and loss. Do you want to become a good person - sit and do not jerk off "- a logical and generally correct conclusion from what is happening. They quickly and forever cease to climb into their own business. Therefore, their business can appear in them only because of a happy accident and more often - already in the second half of life. And not because of the parents, and contrary to their prohibitions, that is, morally, almost illegally. And if you are "lucky" with the child and he is obedient, he will live his entire life, avoiding active participation in this life. And thanks for that you can only tell your parents. The conclusion from this is only one: do not prevent the children from living!
Do not make your love for a child in his chain
Our unlimited, unconditional love for childrenblinds and makes us forget about the main thing: that we must teach our children to live independently in a large and not always safe world. The ancient sages raised children according to the principle: "The child is a guest in your house. Nourish, teach and let him go. " We absolutely do not mind feeding and will gladly teach him everything we know ourselves. But ... let go ?! Beloved, precious, the only light in the window - how can we stay without it? But the same sages added: "Let the child go his own way, and this road will bring him to you." The child will grow up and go away to build his life. And to make it as easy and painless as possible, parents should teach him to take responsibility for their lives and make their own decisions.
