Children's greed: whether to share toys with other children

A familiar situation on the playground. Little Masha is trying to take her doll away from the cheeky girl who appropriated her, while Masha’s Machine reads the notation: “Ahhhhhhh! How bad! We must share! ”Along the way, he hangs on the daughter the label of the greedy. We, adults, usually nod approvingly: they say, well done mother, teaches the right things to a child. Frankly, I myself glanced at the little “greedy” with indignation and was very proud when my child shared toys easily. But, after reading the post of one mother, I changed my outlook on things. Alanya Kolberg walked with her son Carson in the park. Suddenly other boys came running. They immediately began to beg Carson for his transformer and truck. The kid was confused, and when the children began to pull their hands to the toys, he pressed his good to his chest and looked at his mother. “You can say no to them,” said Alanya. “Just say no.” And you can not explain why. ”Carson said“ no, ”and the boys began to complain about the boy to his mother.“ He should not share with you, ”Alanya told the children. - He said no. And if I wanted to share, I would do it. ”A photo: Facebook / Alanya Kolberg The same woman felt the indignant views of other parents. She decided to reply to them on her Facebook page. “If I, an adult, walking around the park, eat a sandwich, do I have to share my food with strangers who are resting nearby? Not! Will raised adults pull my sandwich and be offended if I refuse them? Again - no. So who among us lacks education: me with my son or you, who are outraged and consider us rude? A person who does not want to give his toys to strangers, or strangers who demand things that are not theirs, even if their owner is obviously against? "Alanya is sure: you need to teach children to behave like an adult from an early age." I meet so many people who do not know how to say no, feel free to set boundaries, can not stand up for themselves. And I am one of them. Remember that we are not living in the world where you have to give everything that you have, just because you have been told to do this. ”At the same time, Alanya assures that her son knows how to share. After all, he brought all the toys for his little friend - he wanted to make the girl a surprise.A photo: Facebook / Alanya Kolberg For several days, the post Alanya gathered hundreds of thousands of views and likes. "How many people suffer because they can't say no," people wrote in the comments. "If we teach children to behave like an adult, you need to teach them accept the word “no” and understand that no one owes them anything. ”“ It is so important to teach children to respect their opinions and personal space. We say to our children: “No one has the right to touch you if you don’t want to.” And at the same time we force them to kiss the whiskered aunt at family holidays. Here we send such mixed messages to children, suppressing them. I am glad that you give your son the right to use his “no” without any restrictions. ”“ When guests come to us, I tell the children to keep away toys that they don’t want to share. So they don’t have to give up their special things. ”However, there were those mothers who did not approve of Alanya’s methods.“ I always ask the child to share during the games, because I believe that this is encouragement of kindness, not selfishness. ”Larisa Surkova, psychologist:Until the age of 3-4, children do not differentiate between the concepts of “mine and someone else’s”,especially when it comes to toys. A child comes to the playground with the thought "everything is mine". 1. In a conflict situation, try to distract the baby, for example, by offering him another toy. 2. If you see that someone is trying to take a toy from your child, be sure to intervene and protect his interests (up to 3 years old for sure!). Do not allow the child to feel abandoned. 3. Teach the child to exchange toys if he is approached with good intentions. Praise what is offered to him, describe and show all the unique options of the exchange item. 4. The child is not obliged to share! Put yourself in his place: if you have a beautiful handbag, and a strange aunt offers to share it, how will you feel? Do not scold the child for not wanting to share! 5. Do not take new or very favorite toys to where there are a lot of children. It is better to get a sandbox bag - a lot and not a pity - and, coming to the playground, immediately take out this "wealth" for everyone to see. 6. It is more important not to teach sharing, but to teach playing together. Sit next to the baby and other children, offer them options for joint games. (From the book "All about children from 0 to 13 years old") Do you think it is necessary to teach a child to share?