Why do moms have anger at the baby?
Irritation towards a beloved child is normalthe state of a mother who constantly suppresses her natural feelings. She gets tired of waking up at night, which also affects her feelings for the creature that prevents her from sleeping. Panic for the baby, who can eat a button or pinch a finger at any moment, often results in an angry shout.To contain anger, don't accumulate it for too long, itwill not be so destructive Photo: Getty What happens when a child grows up and communication with him turns into torture? He touches the most painful strings of the soul, skillfully manipulating the weaknesses of the parents. It is not a matter of a bad character: the child takes from you all the good traits that you are aware of and the bad ones hidden from you. You see in a small person the hateful traits of your spouse, and the teenager demonstrates your weaknesses to him. Without realizing it, you have passed on to your child the pain received from your parents, which the teenager reflects to you. Your child does not wish you harm, although sometimes "plays on your nerves". A psychologist can work with this.
How to contain aggression: advice of a psychologist
There are many ways to get yourself back to a relativelycalm state, so as not to regret the consequences. First of all, teach yourself not to accumulate anger. Try to immediately explain to the child the feelings that his action causes. When expressing dissatisfaction, talk about a specific situation, without giving negative characteristics to the guilty party: "I am unhappy that you scattered toys, I am angry with you because the room is dirty", instead of: "You are growing up a slob, your place is in the trash." If your state is such that it is impossible to say an adequate phrase, wait a few minutes and do one of the exercises:
- count in your mind up to 50 and back;
- concentrate on your breathing by tracking your breath and exhaling for a few minutes.
Breathing or counting will help you get back intoadequate state in which you "will not make mistakes". Another way is "look at anger from the outside". This will not happen right away, but you can practice on less annoying situations. You are waiting for the bus, and you feel irritated, look at it as an outside observer. How cleverly your anger manipulates you, hiding behind "fair indignation". Your own child is always more irritating than someone else's. Do not accumulate irritation, but try to convey your feelings to the offender without getting personal. Look at your anger from the outside, be the mistress of the situation.