Mother experienced a terrible grief: She buried the children, and then herself

On this day in Australia, it is customary to celebrate the Daygifts - on December, 26th. Bernadin Allen was going to meet friends that day. Her eldest son, 16-year-old Stevie, went on a weekend to his father, and with a younger, three-year-old Jay, the neighbor invited to sit. The day was beautiful. While Jay did not call his mother: "Mom, I want to go home." Bernadin tried to reassure the baby, they say, in a couple of hours she will be back. The boy said: "Okay" - and put down the phone. From this moment, Bernadine did not leave a feeling of inexplicable anxiety. She zasobiralsya home. But before she could get back, the second bell rang. "Your son is dead," said a voice in the receiver.A photo: GettyImagesThe whole world of the mother collapsed at this moment. It turned out that the neighbor, who was sitting with Jay, had been suffering from schizophrenia for a long time. The disease itself did not manifest itself, because the woman took the medicine. But one day she decided to give up the pills. A few days later, voices in my head began to whisper terrible things to her. The woman listened to them and stabbed the three-year-old boy. "I hardly remember what happened then. I remember going to the hospital for identification. I had a gift for Jay with me for Christmas. He could not play with him ... I begged my friends to tell me that all this was not true. But it was true. My boy was lying there, on a cold table, and seemed to be asleep. But I knew that he was no longer with me, "- Bernadin as the most terrible nightmare. The murderer was sent to compulsory treatment in a psychiatric hospital. And the woman who lost her son needed to live somehow. It turned out badly: she got up in the morning, did something, completely without realizing what was happening. Like on autopilot. But it was necessary to take care of Steve and Kayne, the two remaining sons. "It helped me to escape from reality - caring for my sons. I had to be strong for them, "Bernadin recalls. Three years later her terrible nightmare repeated. The middle son of Bernadin, Stevie, was driving home from work on a bicycle. On the way, his head began to spin, and he fell. The girl who was driving behind him in the car, just did not notice the guy on the road. Stevi died instantly. The first to learn about the tragedy was Cain, the eldest son of Bernadin. He answered the call from the police and went to the identification. What survived the mother, after learning about the death of her second child, it is impossible to imagine. After all, now from her two beloved little boys there were only photographs and gray slabs of tombstones. She tried to cope with the pain, exhausting herself physically to such a state that she could barely crawl to bed. But it did not help. And Bernadin started all the hard. To forget, the woman began to take drugs. Dependence on methamphetamine has become her new reality. She went lower and lower, spending all the money on drugs, contacted a bad company. Once a happy pretty woman now looked like a miserable tramp with trembling hands.Photo:GettyImagesBut some part of her was still trying to fight. Bernadine managed to force herself to see a psychologist and a drug addiction specialist. This was her first step towards sobriety. Gradually, she was able to quit using drugs, smoking, and threw out of her life all the dubious characters she had met in search of the drug. She remembered her surviving son, Kain. “I realized that I wanted more. I was living from dose to dose. I was practically throwing my life away,” Bernadine realized after years of living at the bottom. Gradually, she was able to get rid of her addiction. She went to the gym, started eating right, lost 10 kilograms, began studying to be a designer, and got a huge parrot. The skin ulcers that she had become accustomed to over the years of drug addiction disappeared. Sounds simple. But it all took ten years. Ten long years of hard work with specialists, tears, depression and antidepressants. “Drugs did not make me happy. I had to let go of my dead children so that their souls could rest and I could move on. I miss Jay and Stevie very much. Without them, there is a void in my heart that nothing can fill. But I learned to live with it, I had to learn.”