How to teach a child to fulfill promises

Photo: firestockOzhegov's dictionary states:"A promise is a voluntary commitment to do something." In real life, promises are often made by adults: "Promise that you won't... anymore," "Promise that you'll do...." The child has no choice but to agree: "I promise" or even just "Uh-huh." Often this happens just to get them to leave him alone. Since the initiative comes from the parents, it is not always easy for children to keep their promise. Moral: it is important not to formulate promises for the child, they must come to this on their own. Why does a child not keep their word? There may be several reasons. - The child may sincerely believe that they will keep their promise, but due to the fact that they do not yet know how to assess their own strengths, they break their promise. - The child may simply forget. The fact is that children often make promises while watching cartoons or playing. At this point, they simply ignore their mother's words and nod to get them to leave them alone faster. - Even an adult can find it difficult to resist something under the influence of others, let alone a child. That's why a child can promise you not to buy, for example, chewing gum or chips, but looking at his friends, he will not be able to keep his word. - It happens that a child gives his word only in order not to disappoint his parents, not fully understanding the task set before him. For example, he promises to get only "A's". - A child may not keep a promise because it was imposed on him. If he was forced to promise to put away his toys, he will promise. But if his favorite cartoon suddenly starts, the promise will be immediately forgotten. How to teach a child to keep his word? Woman's Day expert, medical psychologist Elena Nikolaeva:— You have to start from early childhood.You can play a game with your child: you promise each other something and you do it. The tasks should be simple. It is important that in this game the child understands the connection between "give your word - keep your promise." - Be an example. Be sure to keep your promises to children, even the most insignificant ones. The child copies the behavior of the parents. - Do not demand promises from the child that he cannot keep. Do not demand that he give his word, but rather ask him: "I beg you, try not to get into a puddle, do not roll in the snow," "Try not to forget your diary, notebook," etc. Even if the child promises and tries with all his might to keep his promise, circumstances may hinder him. - Talk to children more often about the importance of keeping promises. Explain to the child that he cannot promise what he cannot keep. He also cannot promise something for another person. Here you can give examples from your own life, read a story or a fairy tale depending on the age of the child. - Teach the child to be honest with himself and make promises to himself. This way, he will learn to set goals and successfully achieve them. You, as parents, must control, remind and be sure to encourage his behavior. It is important for the child to feel the importance and responsibility for the given word. - You should not take promises from schoolchildren regarding grades. Many schoolchildren promise themselves and others to study only for "A's". Start with something else - discuss the daily routine and rest, determine the time for doing homework, establish rules that the student undertakes to follow. This will lead to more real results. - Be sure to praise the child if he kept his promise. If the child failed to keep his promise, then it is necessary to discuss why this happened. This will help him in the future to be more attentive to himself and his words. So, in order to get the child to keep his promises, it is necessary to clearly formulate your requests. Before asking for something, distract the child from playing and draw his attention to yourself. It would also be best if the child himself understands, for example, why toys need to be put away. If the child has not kept his word, he should be scolded for the broken promise, and not for scattered things. Well, it is equally important to teach the child not only to keep his word, but also to evaluate his strengths. After all, sometimes it is better to insist on your own, explaining the reason for the refusal, than to give an impossible promise.