What causes child disobedience
Children express their protest against the negative facts of reality through disobedience. To achieve success in education, it is necessary to find out the reason for their discontent.
If a child doesn't obey, he has a reason for itReasonsPhoto: Getty The reasons for children's disobedience include: Age crisis. It can explain why a three-year-old child does not obey, why a six-year-old behaves badly. Age-related changes cause rebelliousness in adolescents. Crisis phenomena are usually provoked by a protest against parental restrictions in learning about the world around them. Excessive demands. Constant prohibitions cause rebellion in a person at any age. Restrictions should be reasonable and logically justified. Explain to your child why he cannot play with matches or play with a socket, but do not forbid him to be active, laugh, run and sing. Inconsistency in parental behavior. Your mood should not affect punishment or encouragement. Only the child's actions are important here. It is also necessary for both parents to be consistent in their decisions and statements. If dad says "you can", and mom says "you can", then "You can't", the child gets confused and shows confusion with pranks. Complete absence of prohibitions. If there is no control, then everything is allowed. Indulging the whims of the baby leads to a feeling of permissiveness and, as a result, spoiledness and disobedience. Failure to keep promises. If you promised something to your child, be it encouragement or punishment, keep it. Otherwise, the child will stop trusting you and will ignore all parental words. Why listen if you will be deceived anyway? Injustice. Those parents who do not listen to the child's arguments will receive disrespect in return. Family conflicts. Children can react to an unstable psychological situation in the family and lack of attention with disobedience. Divorce of parents is a strong stress for a child. He feels lost, does not know what to do in such a situation. It is important to explain that both parents love him, and the conflict is not the child's fault. Perhaps in a difficult situation it is worth seeking help from a psychologist.
How to behave if the child does not obey
Without punishment in raising a child,Unfortunately, it is impossible. But they should only be for serious offenses. And good behavior should be encouraged more often than punished. You can't hit a child, no matter what he did. Physical punishment leads to children taking out their resentment on the weak: babies or animals, damaging furniture or toys. Punishment with work or study is also unacceptable. After all, then this activity will turn from an interesting one into an unpleasant one. This will sharply affect your child's grades. How then to wean children from unseemly behavior:
- Use pleasure restraints. For serious misconduct you can deprive the child of a sweet, bicycle walk, playing on the computer.
- Express complaints in a calm tone.Explain to your child why you are upset by his behavior, do not be ashamed of your feelings. But you should not shout or call the guilty one names - this will cause the opposite effect.
- If the child does not listen to your words,introduce a warning system. "The first time is forgiven, the second time is prohibited." Punishment must follow after the third signal without fail.
- Avoid the particle "not". Children's psyche does not perceive phrases with a negative meaning.
Hysteria or whims must be responded toin a calm tone and never give up your position. The attention of the little ones can be switched to a doll, a car, a bird outside the window. The most important cure for disobedience is respect for the child's opinion. Give children more time and attention, support their ideas, become a good friend, not an evil overseer. Then you will know about all the child's problems and will be able to prevent possible troubles.
