What causes child disobedience
Disobedience to children express their protest against the negative facts of reality. To succeed in education, you need to find out the cause of their discontent.
If the child does not obey, he has itreasonsPhoto: Getty The reasons for child disobedience include: The age crisis. They can explain why a child of three years does not obey, because of what the six-year-old behaves badly. Age-related changes are caused by rebelliousness of adolescents. Crisis phenomena are usually provoked by a protest against parental restrictions in the knowledge of the surrounding world. Excessive requirements. Constant bans cause rebellion in a person at any age. Restrictions must be reasonable and logical. Explain to the child why you can not play with matches or play with a rosette, but do not forbid him to be active, laugh, run and sing. Inconsistency in the behavior of parents. Your mood should not affect the punishment or encouragement. Only the actions of the child are important here. It is also necessary for both parents to be consistent in decisions and statements. If the pope says "you can" and your mother - "you can not", the child is lost and shows a bewilderment of pranks. Complete absence of prohibitions. If there is no control, then everything is possible. Indulgence to the whims of the baby leads to a sense of permissiveness and, as a result, pampering and disobedience. Failure to fulfill promises. If you have promised something to your child, be it encouragement or punishment, do it. Otherwise, the child will stop believing you and will ignore all parental words. Why obey if you still cheated? Injustice. Those parents who do not listen to the child's arguments will get a contempt in the result. Family conflicts. Disobedience to children can respond to the unstable psychological situation in the family and lack of attention. Strong stress for the child is the divorce of the parents. He feels lost, does not know what to do in this situation. It is important to explain that both parents love him, and that the conflict does not involve the child's guilt. Probably, in a difficult situation it is necessary to address for the help to the psychologist.
How to behave if the child does not obey
Without punishment in the upbringing of the child, unfortunately,not enough. But they should only be for serious misconduct. And encourage for good behavior you need more than punish. Beat the child, whatever he does, you can not. Physical punishment leads to the fact that children begin to take offense on the weak: kids or animals, spoil furniture or toys. Punishment by work or study is also unacceptable. After all, then, from an interesting occupation, this activity will turn into an unpleasant one. This will dramatically affect the estimates of your child. How then can we wean children of unseemly acts:
- Use pleasure restraints. For serious misconduct you can deprive the child of a sweet, bicycle walk, playing on the computer.
- Express a complaint in a calm tone. Explain to the kid why you are upset by his behavior, do not be shy of your feelings. But screaming or calling the offender is not worth it - this will cause the opposite effect.
- If the child does not listen to your words, enter the warning system. "The first time is forgiven, the second is forbidden." The punishment must follow after the third signal without fail.
- Discard the "not" particle. The children's psyche does not perceive phrases with negative meanings.
To hysterics or whims to respondcalm tone and in any case not to surrender their positions. Attention to the smallest ones can be switched to a doll, a typewriter, a bird outside the window. The most important cure for disobedience is respect for the opinion of the child. Give children more time and attention, support their ideas, become a good friend, not an evil overseer. Then you will be aware of all the problems of the child and will be able to prevent possible troubles.
