- Sun, clean, please toys ... Son,remove the toys ... I told someone to remove? Half an hour has passed, and everything is still lying around! Familiar? No? And if instead of toys substitute any tedious thing? Covering the bed, doing homework, self-dressing, brushing your teeth ... Yeah, now familiar?
A photo: GettyImages Surely any parent has experienced similar manifestations of “unwillingness”. And if it would still be possible to give up on cleaning, they say, it will grow - it will learn, and unlearned lessons are fraught with a maximum of two, then with dirty teeth you will not leave a scion? Or with unwashed hands after a walk. Therefore, we must look for a way to accustom the child to tedious, everyday, but important things. The sooner the better. How? This was told to us by the neurologist-psychiatrist Oksana Merkulova.
M - motivation
Итак, возьмем большой лист бумаги и сделаем календарь важных дел. По горизонтали напишем дни недели. По вертикали – собственно дела, которые нужно делать. Для маленьких деток – двух-трехлеток – дел должно быть одновременно не больше трех, для детей постарше можно уже вписывать пять-шесть дел. Получается таблица «Надо».— Здесь может быть все, что вы считаете важным, – объясняет Оксана. — Кроху так можно приучить к горшку, к походу в ясельки без слез, к сну в своей кроватке. Детей постарше – к помощи родителям по дому, зарядке, чтению. Школьников – к самостоятельной учебе. Дальше мы эту таблицу начинаем заполнять. Выполнил дело – в соответствующей графе рисуем солнышко, не справился – тучку. Или веселый/грустный смайлик. Или плюс/минус. Кому что больше нравится.— Этот метод основан исключительно на положительной мотивации, – предупреждает Оксана Меркулова. — Поэтому «отбирать», то есть зачеркивать уже выданные смайлики нельзя.Кстати, для тех, кто не уверен уже в собственной пунктуальности и может забыть соорудить календарь на день, в интернете можно найти уже готовые подобные доски мотивации. Придется немного потратиться, конечно, зато такой симпатичный девайс создаст ореол значимости вокруг таблицы.
P - encouragement
Photo:GettyImages In the evening before going to bed, it is imperative to discuss the past day, to understand what worked out, what did not. Find out the reasons for the failure. We summarize the results of the week on Sunday. We agree on the incentive system in advance. For example, you had three cases in your spreadsheet. Only one thing has been completely fulfilled - some kind of small reward. All three have been completed - something more interesting. - A situation may arise when a child in the middle of the week, seeing that something is not working out, can stand in a pose and say: “Well, since it didn’t work out, it means that there is still no reward. see. Why try then, ”says Merkulova. - We get out of this situation as follows. Explain that the task will be considered completed if there are more positive results. For example, on Wednesday and Thursday the child did not make the bed, but on the other days he coped with it. It means that the case is counted. A reasonable question: won't we overpraise the child with rewards? The specialist is sure not. “Gradually increase the motivation period,” explains Merkulova. - To receive encouragement, the assigned tasks will need to be completed for two weeks, three, and so on. If we are talking about something global, fundamental and important, and the motivation must be strong, what kind of this motivation will be up to you, because who, if not you, knows your child better than others. But it is not recommended to encourage children with money. As well as objects. - Motivation with money for children of any age, in my opinion, is wrong. In addition, I do not think that preschoolers need to be motivated by purchases, so that the “made-and-received” position is not consolidated. It is better to offer them something emotionally interesting: going to the cinema, circus, zoo. Or extra time for watching cartoons, games. It all depends on interests. The essence
