How to treat your mother-in-lawPhoto: Getty

Mother-in-law and mother-in-law: a mirror of relationships

The main mistake of a young wife is tonegative perception of the mother of her husband. Such an attitude is formed under the influence of common stereotypes. How many stories and complaints about evil "mothers-in-law" can be read on the pages of online forums, heard from friends and acquaintances. They set the woman against her mother-in-law in advance, give rise to a kind of defensive aggression in her, directed against the closest person for the husband. But not all mothers-in-law are so bad, and their attitude towards the daughter-in-law largely depends on her. Hostility, even if you try not to show it openly, is still felt in intonations, facial expressions, gestures, looks. And the mother-in-law feels it, as well as your insincerity when you smile at her or agree with her. This invariably causes a response - the mirror principle works, and you get your negativity back. In addition, jealousy towards the wife, who has taken up so much space in the son's heart, may be added to it. By the way, persistent attempts to please the mother-in-law are also wrong. You are unlikely to become her second daughter (although this sometimes happens), and the desire to please and agree with everything will cause irritation and quickly become unbearable for you.

How to treat the mother in law

How to treat the mother-in-lawPhoto: Getty

First of all, you need to set yourself up for something positive,friendly attitude and admit that in the conflict "daughter-in-law - mother-in-law" most often both parties are to blame. Secondly, it should be remembered that all people are different and everyone has their own shortcomings. Your mother-in-law is no exception, just like you. By following a number of rules, it is quite possible to establish, if not friendly, then respectful relations.

If you live together, even temporarily, notget your orders in the house, do not criticize family rules and traditions. They are not installed by you. Remember: here the mistress is your mother-in-law, and this must either be accepted or lived separately.

Don't complain about your mother-in-law about her husbandsupport, do not quarrel with her husband in her presence. Any mother is unpleasant to hear about the bad child. Especially her son, she knows as well as you. But protecting him (and himself), willingly or unwittingly, blame the quarrel on you.

Be careful when accepting help from parents.husband. At the very beginning of marriage, this is inevitable, but then do not complain that, together with the right to help, the mother-in-law will receive the right to give you advice and indicate how to live. To reject a proposal should be tactful and cautious, it can be quite sincere, then the refusal of help will cause confusion and insult.

Be attentive. Do not forget to congratulate on holidays, to give birthday gifts. This is an elementary respect and you should not deny it to the mother of your beloved man.

Do not let your children communicate with grandmother- it is necessary not only for mothers-in-law, but for grandchildren. Often, young mothers are jealous of their babies for the husband’s mother, or simply do not trust her children with her, since “she pampers them, feeds them not with that and brings them up wrongly”. Remember that this woman managed to raise a man you loved.

And if all this doesn’t work and the relationship betweenyou and not only do not improve, but become worse, then how can you treat your mother-in-law equally? Just acknowledge her right not to love you. As we know, you can’t please everyone. And you, too, are not obliged to feel love for a woman who is a stranger to you. Try to limit contacts with your mother-in-law, but do not set your husband against his mother, otherwise a conflict is inevitable. Moreover, do not try to make the children dislike their grandmother, this is bad for them too. Remember that you, too, will someday become a mother-in-law or mother-in-law. It is also useful to know:

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