Grandmothers who do not want to sit with their grandchildren

When in the 90s my kindergarten was closed underthe hotel and all the children were dismissed home with my grandmother. She also raised two of my cousins from the cradle. My husband as a child was also often left to my grandmother. She then, by the way, was over seventy. The current generation of grandmothers will give grandsons expensive presents and clothes. This is not a wooden rattle with knitted socks. Here, if a toy, then the functions are not worse than some gadget, and it will cost no less. Gifts for grandchildren from modern grandmothers have money. What they don't have is time.A photo: GettyImages Modern grandmothers are in no hurry to go on a well-deserved rest. And they can be understood - you are not going to rest with the current pensions. Even if you are ready to partially compensate their earnings, this money is unlikely to be comparable to their salary, otherwise you would have hired a nanny long ago. And they are no longer ready to give up the usual expenses. Not long ago I had to leave the decree. Son turned a year and a half. And if someone does not know, decent benefits are paid only up to eighteen childhood months, and then up to three years - 50 rubles per month. And no, this is not a typo. To live for one husband’s salary, paying the mortgage, so-so perspective. A few months before leaving the decree, the question arose: to look for a nanny or give to a private kindergarten (we should wait at least a year for the state). The mother-in-law categorically stated: “What else is a nanny, I will be sitting with my grandson!” She lives alone in another city, works without an employment contract, so she didn’t have to wait for her pension. went to work. My husband and I tried not to abuse her services. Coming home from work, they took the son to another room, leaving his grandmother alone with books and a TV. And a child needs rest - we understood that. They regularly replenished the refrigerator in order not to bother a person with shopping trips. For life, a dishwasher, a washing machine, a robot vacuum cleaner can help ... With difficulty and only from the stories of my grandmother, I can imagine how I used to raise children without all these devices. When there were no diapers, when washed on the hands. It would seem that modern technology has done everything so that people do not waste their strength on everyday life. But this was not enough. “I'm leaving,” suddenly the mother-in-law said three weeks after her arrival. - It's hard all the same. It’s one thing to sit with a child at thirty, and another when you are over fifty. She gave me a week to settle things at work and left. The news that I, having worked for only a month, again go on leave to care for a child, who - I took him from my friends with surprise, but someone, on the contrary, was not surprised at all. - My mother immediately said to me: “And do not hope, I will not sit with your children,” confessed a friend. Well, our grandmother even tried. “My parents are also in a hurry: when you say you will make your grandson happy,” says an old friend. - But I know for sure that they will not babysit with the child. My father has a fishing trip, my mother has a yoga class, she constantly goes to some master classes.Photo: GettyImages I remembered my neighbor. For a nominal fee, she works as a nanny. And the grandmother of the child lives in the same house, but she refused to sit with the baby. And every day, parents, passing by the door of their loved one, lead the boy to a strange aunt ... - It works, probably? - I ask the neighbor. - No, she is retired. Just does not want ... And here I suddenly began to understand our mothers. Still, we have children are not for grandmothers. They have already grown their own and now they want to go on that very yoga, sign up for painting lessons, dance, maybe go on a trip. Are we entitled to deprive them of such pleasures? Our leisure grandmothers had books and knitting. In the new time there will be entertainment for any age. In forty years, life is just beginning, they assured me in the movie “Moscow Doesn’t Believe in Tears,” and nowadays fifty is the new forty. I bow to those who are ready to devote their best years to their grandchildren, but I shouldn’t reproach my mother-in-law, I have no right. After all, this is her life. By the way, she always looked with admiration at old ladies-tourists from Europe. How much energy in them! I doubt very much that in their free time from traveling, they are busy with their grandchildren - it is painfully fresh and rested in their appearance. Therefore, if you want your mothers to be young and full of energy as long as possible, let them bring up their grandchildren via Skype - a few minutes a day will be enough for them. You only count on yourself and do not create someone else's problem from your child. And who is sitting with your child?

I'm sitting here alone. We live on my husband's salary - what else can we do?
Grandmother. She is beside herself with the delight that they have entrusted her beloved grandson to her.
Hired a nanny. We have no grandmothers, and the kindergarten is not soon.
Given to a private garden. Fortunately, the salary allows.

Voted: 213A who is sitting with your child?

I'm sitting here. We live on my husband's salary - what else can we do? 61.5%
Grandmother. She is beside herself with the delight that she was entrusted with her beloved grandson.16,4%
Hired a nanny. We have no grandmothers, and the kindergarten is not soon. 9.9%
Given to a private garden. Fortunately, the salary allows.12.2%

Voted: 213