"I put all my life on him to givehappy childhood. I quit my job, I took care of the circles of the driver, the theaters. If only I could say thanks! No, he went to a rented apartment, as soon as 18 was completed, and now he calls once a month. "" When my husband and I deserted my daughters, I worked for two, fell out of fatigue. Married, did not go, afraid that they would not accept my stepfather. And what's the use? Daughters in the registrar in the second circle already go about their children do not think. And from the Soviets only wave off. "It is true that for injustice - you try for them, you kill your youth, and they do not like you, they do not weigh a medal with the title" Mama of the Century ", but do not appreciate at all! For example, most of my friends consciously try to educate children on principles that are directly opposite to those by which they were raised by their parents. How should we act to ensure that the teenager does not go to the dubious friends and Uncle Stepa for advice from the neighboring entrance, but to you? How to build a relationship in the house, so that one day the child said: "I want to have a friendly family like my parents"? These questions were answered by the psychologist and mother of five children Larisa Surkova.Photo: GettyImages

Understand yourself

Есть замечательная поговорка:"Don't raise children, they will grow up to be like you anyway. Raise yourself." Are you hanging out on social networks day and night, and your child is playing with blocks nearby? Keep in mind that he is not only interested in the blocks, he is observing and remembering everything he sees. Soon you will want to talk to him, and he will say: "Don't distract me, I haven't completed the level yet." Are you working hard for pennies in an office that you curse? Try to prove to your child that you need to be a successful person and do what you love!During pregnancy, try to evaluate yourself andyour behavior. Think about your social role - is it authoritative? It is advisable to put your own head in order before the baby is born, although it is never too late to do this.

Do not swear at the husband

Everyone has disagreements in the family, but one thing isput the children to bed and quietly discuss problems over a cup of tea, and another is to run after your husband with a frying pan all over the apartment. Parents are support and protection for a child. When a mother is hysterical, throwing dishes, she shows emotional immaturity, puts herself on the same level as her children. The child feels this and stops perceiving her as a smarter and stronger person. “It would have been better if my parents had divorced when I was little,” says Alena. “They did it anyway when I finished school. They waited, they wanted me to grow up in a complete family. But why all this, when I only remember their tears and fights? If the relationship has turned into a war, from which there is no way out, think about whether it is worth living together. Sometimes after a divorce, spouses become good friends.Photo: GettyImages

No means no

When raising children, be consistent.If you say there are no cartoons today, keep your word and don’t give in to your child’s provocations, even if he cries or looks at you with the eyes of the cat from Shrek. Otherwise, your child will think: “Yeah, he can be manipulated.” And vice versa: if you promise to give him a dog if he finishes the quarter with excellent marks, don’t go back on your word. When raising children, parents and other relatives should “blow the same tune” so that a situation doesn’t arise: mom forbids chocolate, and dad and grandma secretly allow the children to eat a couple of bars.

Respect the child

A child is also a person, only a small one.It is important to remember this when you answer his questions and objections in the following spirit: “As I said, so it will be!”, “When you grow up, you will understand!”, “Why, why? Because!” You need to talk to children as if they were adults, explaining your thoughts and actions.Try to always act in the best interest of the childand tell him about it. Even unpleasant things that he does not like refer to this rule. So you say: "You may think that I'm doing this in vain, but it's really in your interests, because ..."

Be on the same wavelength

Yes, you belong to different generations, but notyou need to build a wall because of the age difference. Imagine that your 12-year-old son comes to you and starts enthusiastically talking about some modern music group. What will you do? Say that you don’t have time or ask if this grinding noise is really called music? The child will either be offended or think that you are behind the times and have nothing to talk about. With such words you will not instill good taste in the teenager, but you will humiliate and insult him. A wise parent will say: “Come on. Play me a couple of songs! Hmm… A very eccentric group, but there is something in it. Do you want me to play you “Aria”? I was just crazy about them in my youth, ran to concerts and grew my hair long.”A photo: GettyImagesAnd now let's return to the question of why children do not appreciate when we dedicate their lives, quit their jobs, do not get divorced and again do not marry, and instead of a new dress for ourselves we buy them one hundred first toy. Authority is an example, looking at which I want to say: "I want to be the same! I want to live the same life! "Does your daughter want to look like a fat, not well-groomed woman in jeans worn out? Would the child want the fate of his father - always tired, disgruntled and abusive bosses? That children appreciate and respect you, love yourself and become a happy person.

Love yourself

It is important to be an interesting person, to develop yourself –only then will your child be proud of you. It is not necessary to get three higher educations or conquer Everest, you can be an interesting housewife if your knowledge is not limited to diapers and women's forums. Do not forget to dress up and arrange dates with your husband. Live a rich life.

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