Gordon Neufeld, a famous Canadian psychologist andPh.D., in his book “Keys to the well-being of children and adolescents,” wrote: “Emotions play a central role in human development and even in the growth of the brain itself. The emotional brain is the foundation of well-being. ” The study of emotional intelligence began in the days of Darwin. And now they say that success cannot be seen without a developed emotional intelligence, neither in career nor in personal life. They even came up with the term EQ - by analogy with IQ - and measure it when applying for a job. Valeria Shimanskaya, a child psychologist and the author of one of the programs for the development of emotional intelligence, Academy of Monsikov, helped us to understand what kind of intellect develop and how to do it. What is emotional intelligence? While still in the mother’s belly, the baby is already able to experience emotions: the mood and feelings of the mother are transmitted to him. Therefore, lifestyle and emotional background during pregnancy affect the formation of the baby's temperament. With the birth of a person, the emotional flow increases thousands of times, often changing during the day: the baby smiles and rejoices, then stamps her legs and fills in weeping. A child learns to interact with feelings - his own and those around him. The experience gained forms emotional intelligence - knowledge about emotions, the ability to recognize and control them, to distinguish the intentions of others and to respond adequately to them.
Photo: GettyImages2. Why is this important? First, EQ is responsible for the psychological comfort of a person, for life without internal conflicts. This is a whole chain: first, the child learns to understand his behavior and his own reactions to different situations, then accept his emotions, and then manage them and respect his own desires and aspirations. Secondly, all this will allow you to make conscious and calm decisions. In particular, to choose the sphere of activity that a person really likes. Thirdly, people with developed emotional intelligence effectively interact with other people. After all, they understand the intentions of others and the motives of their actions, respond adequately to the behavior of others, are capable of compassion and empathy. That's the key to a successful career and personal harmony. 3. How to raise the EQ? For children who have developed emotional intelligence, it is much easier to experience age crises and adapt in a new team, in a new environment. You can develop the baby yourself, but you can also entrust this business to specialized centers. We will offer some simple home ways. Speak the child out loud the emotions that he feels. Parents usually call the baby objects with which he interacts or sees, but almost never tell him about the sensations he experiences. Say: "You were upset that we did not buy this toy," "You were delighted when you saw Dad," "You were surprised when the guests came." As the child grows up, ask a question about what he feels by paying attention to his facial expressions or changes in the body. For example: “You knit your brows. What do you feel now? ”If a child cannot immediately answer a question, try to direct it:“ Maybe your emotion is like anger? Or is it a resentment? ”
Photo:GettyImagesBooks, cartoons and movies can also help develop emotional intelligence. All you need to do is talk to your child. Discuss what you have seen or read: reflect with your child on the mood of the characters, the motives for their actions, why they behaved this way.Talk openly about your own emotions - parents, like everyone else in the world, can get angry, upset, offended.Invent fairy tales for your child or together with him, in which the characters learn to cope with difficulties by controlling their emotions: overcome fear, embarrassment, learn lessons from their grievances. In fairy tales, you can act out stories from the life of the child and family.Comfort the child and let him comfort you. When calming the baby, do not switch his attention, but help him to understand the emotion, naming it. Say that he will cope and his mood will soon improve again.Consult with specialists. You do not necessarily have to go to a psychologist for this. All questions can be asked for free: twice a month, Valeria Shimanskaya and other specialists from the Monsikov Academy consult parents at free webinars. The conversations take place on the website www.tiji.ru – this is the portal of the TV channel for preschoolers. You need to register in the “Parents” section, and you will be sent a link to the live broadcast of the webinar. In addition, you can watch previous conversations in recording there.
