Education of boys: advice to moms

Photo: Gettyimages1.GentlemanIdeally: when a mother takes her newborn son in her arms, she is completely sure that she will raise a real gentleman, a knight who will reach new heights and delight women day after day.Reality. In the modern world, gentlemen are considered to be smart, educated, gallant men. If educational institutions somehow cope with education, then parents are responsible for instilling manners at first. Teach your boy from an early age to give up his seat on public transport to women and the elderly. Ask even a very small son to help carry light things, because mom is a woman, and they need to be given the opportunity to be the weaker sex. This is how you will teach the boy nobility. Show by your example respect for elders, teach him to keep his room tidy and maintain a neat appearance, let your son feel responsible for his own choices - rest assured, your lessons will not be in vain.2. BreadwinnerIdeally: any sea is knee-deep, any mountains are shoulder-sized. The breadwinner always knows where and how to find food and livelihood. Reality: you need to feed and provide for your family, at least for yourself. From childhood, a boy sees from his parents that money does not fall from the sky and does not grow on trees. Mom and Dad go to work and spend all day there. But no matter how much they go to work, when they go out on the weekend, they will definitely say several times: “It’s too expensive.” And this is the right phrase! It’s not even about whether mom and dad can afford to buy this or that thing, but about showing the value of the money they have earned. Read between the lines: “It’s too expensive for something we don’t need. And money needs to be spent wisely.” This approach will teach the child to value work and save on things that you can easily do without. After all, a real breadwinner is not only the one who earns, but also the one who saves.Photo: Gettyimages3.WarriorIdeally: the enemies wanted to burn down their home, but a strong and brave man came and smeared them across the wall.Reality: in real life, you have to be a warrior almost every day. After all, even in a world without war, there are plenty of dangers coming from other people. Therefore, it is very important for a boy to be able to protect himself and his companion, if such a case arises. Let's go back to point 1 and remember that we, women, are the weaker sex. Obviously, when they called us that, they meant our physical abilities. And therefore, we are in dire need of a protector. So, we continue to develop our sons' protective skills not only at home, but also on the street, in real situations. For example, let your son help you cross the road (read: be extremely attentive and try not to leave you both under the wheels of cars). At the same time, the mother herself does not lose her vigilance, but pretends to be absent-minded and frivolous. Realizing the extent of responsibility for the life of another person, the boy learns to survive on his own.4. LeaderIdeally: the boy should strive for leadership. This is the key to future victories in a difficult, competitive adult life. Reality: a boy should not strive for leadership. If a boy has leadership qualities, they will certainly manifest themselves. But if they do not, then do not pressure the child, but direct his energy in another direction. Explain that being a responsible person and a professional in your field can be much more important.Photo: Gettyimages5.The Master of the HouseIdeally: a real man solves all household problems at once. He simply must understand the whole variety of tools and materials, must be able to replace a mechanic, a plumber, a turner and an asphalt paver.Reality: yes, that would be terribly great. And here the example of a father and grandfather cannot be overestimated. Older generations can do much more with their hands than their descendants. A "handy" dad naturally and unobtrusively involves his little son in work. It is touching to see a little one crawling under a car with a wrench together with his father. But still, the owner also knows how to delegate authority, and not engage in tyranny, just to assert his authority. A man who can admit his mistakes and his own imperfections deserves more respect. But a competent owner can develop the skills of an excellent administrator if he knows where and who to contact when necessary.6. AthleteIdeally: you send your son to a sports section, because sports strengthen character and cultivate a competitive spirit. And if all goes well, it is also a possible profession, because it is very important to think about the future.Reality: only a few become outstanding athletes. So do not delude yourself if you do not see talent and desire in your child. Of course, sports should be present in the boy's life if the parents care about his health. At the same time, they know their son well and can choose a section together with him to suit his character. Games (football, volleyball, basketball) are suitable for team players, various types of wrestling, boxing, athletics - for individuals. And whatever the ambitions of the parents, if you start to force the child over your knee, you will get the opposite result.Photo: Gettyimages7. In the ideal: for a real man you can rely on yourself. He always remembers that other members of his family depend on his decisions, that relatives rely on him, so he never fails them. Reality: it is quite possible to raise a reliable person who can be trusted if from an early age they recognize a person as a child. He does not have to be what his parents want him to be. He will grow up and live by his own rules. But that the boy at a certain age began to realize himself as a stone wall, he must feel protected by himself. Not loving and petted, because so eradicated initiative, and not abandoned, because then he himself does not want to trust anyone. Healthy doses of love from both parents plus a portion of independent, measured decisions - and now you have one who can protect himself, who at the right time will put his shoulder. DiplomatIn the ideal: all conflicts can be solved with words, and it is not necessary to fight. Reality: undoubtedly, the ability to negotiate in life is very helpful. But nevertheless, the boy will feel more confident if the pope (uncle, elder brother) shows him a couple of effective tricks. Let them apply no need for ever in life, but this insurance will add weight to words in the literal sense of the word.Photo: Gettyimages9.RomanticIdeally: you teach your son to give flowers and gifts to girls and women, and first of all - to his mother. You instill in him that it is important for the female sex to see attention and interest, it is important to feel attractive, and your son, as a real man, should show all this with his emotions. True, right there you tell him that men do not cry. Never.Reality: no one explains to the boy how emotions should be combined with the absence of emotions. And they should not. Men cry, because they are people too. Moreover, keeping everything inside is harmful to the body. If there is no splash, problems begin in the form of stress, depression, aggression, nervous breakdowns. But men should cry only in strictly defined cases. For example, they cannot sob while re-watching Bambi, but if at that moment tears are in your mother's eyes, tell him that he can give you a napkin or hold your hand. This will also be an important lesson in separating emotions by gender: feelings are very good, but boys and girls have different ones. 10. Sage Ideally: a real man knows the answers, if not to all, then to most of life's questions. Reality: you won't get all the answers from books. Answers appear in parallel with the acquisition of life experience. And you can't get life experience if you don't live, but only read smart books in a secluded corner. A vicious circle. No, you have to read, absolutely, because erudition determines not only knowledge of the answers to a quiz, but also, for example, a sense of humor, the choice of a future profession. Therefore, let the boy read, but at the same time, you can't lock him in a room and then expect that one fine day he will wake up as a harmoniously developed personality. Let him live, let him explore the world, let him get his bumps and bruises. Don't interfere with him growing up. No matter how many discussions are born, there are still no universal and ideal parenting tips. And yet, the main example for a child is always his family. What is the relationship between the parents? How does dad talk to mom? How does mom answer him? You will not be able to help your son better than when you analyze your behavior and try to correct “uncomfortable” moments in time.